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New to poly but loving it so far in a FFM situation

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This is a diary entry that I also shared elsewhere about a week ago. Someone suggested that I should post about it here.

 

My wife and I have been in the lifestyle for a little more than 5 1/2 years together. At this point, we have kind of grown weary of the BS that you have to go through when meeting people online, meeting people at parties who later turned out to have relationship issues and one night stands with single males - which was fun but gets old after awhile. Don't get me wrong... we are swingers... but we just felt like we needed something a little different.

 

About 2 weeks ago - right after Christmas, we were discussing this and my wife - who is bi - said... "it would be so awesome if we could just meet a girlfriend" and I liked that idea as well. We have had a couple of FFM threesomes over the years but never a "girlfriend" who we could pamper. Someone who we could travel with... or just chill and watch a movie or go to dinner with... a friend and a lover.

 

This is where it gets crazy... the very next day, a very cute girl - who is quite a bit younger than we are - sent us a message on one of the sites where we are members. At first, we suspected it was just like all the other messages that we had received from single guys posing as single females... (wtf is up with that, btw). We messaged her and asked if we could do a phone call and lo and behold... she turned out to be very real. She had never been to a swinger party or had a threesome or even been with another female before. We were amazed to say the least. Unfortunately, we had a lot going on that week and the following week we were going on vacation... so we asked her if we could meet on Friday the 18th. She agreed... the date was set.

 

Over the next couple of weeks, we probably sent a few thousand text messages back and forth... lots of flirting and getting to know each other. We talked on the phone a couple of times, but texting seemed to be the chosen form of communication. We learned that she was a very sweet and intelligent girl who grew up in a small town out west. She is very sure of herself and very mature. She has a career that she loves and is one of the most happy and positive people that we have met.

 

The 18th finally came... it seemed like it had been an eternity. We were nervous and excited and so was she. We had a wonderful dinner and then went to a strip club because she had never been to one and wanted to check it out. After she received her first table dance... she was ready to go - like a fire had started inside of her... so we went back to the hotel. The experience was just mind blowing. We had the most amazing sex of our lives and she was just as intoxicated with the experience. So much so, that we decided to meet again last night.

 

So... last night we met for dinner again and after dinner we took her to our local club. She was blown away by that experience as well... and we were making out and touching. There were 2 couples next to us that were going at it pretty hot and heavy... it was a huge turn on for her so we decided to go back to our place. Amazingly, we had an even better experience last night. WOW

 

Jan 26 UPDATE: Things are going great! This is our first poly type experience and so far we are just amazed at how well we fit together. We are all still in "pinch me cuz I have to be dreaming" mode. The only "bummer" is that she lives an hour away from us but we talk a lot.

 

On Wednesday, she and I had our first one on one date (it is cycle week for my wife) - which is entirely something new for my wife and I. We have played separate before... but always in the club (on-premises) or at a house party. We had dinner at a great little Mexican place I know and then went and hung out with some good friends of my wife and I for awhile (who also own and run our swinger club). After visiting our friends for awhile, we went back to her place and had awesome sex.

 

Tonight, she is coming over for dinner and a movie and this coming week my wife will have her first one on one date with her and they are so excited. My wife has been like a giddy schoolgirl all week.

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Congratulations! Now that you've found a girlfriend, do the three of you (or just you and wife) plan to continue with swinging at all?

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Congratulations! Now that you've found a girlfriend, do the three of you (or just you and wife) plan to continue with swinging at all?

 

Yes... of course :) Our girlfriend and I have talked about it and she definitely wants to do that... We specifically discussed some of my wife's boy toys. I doubt that we will play with couples though... not because we are against that... it's just that we have gotten very tired of trying to find compatible couples - where we are all physically attracted and they are full swap and they are willing to play at a reasonable hour to make it enjoyable and they aren't fighting like cats and dogs or the wife isn't complaining about her husband any time he isn't in the room, etc etc etc. We are not Ken and Barbie and don't expect that our playmates be either... but it just seems like so much of a hassle anymore to find compatible couples who have a secure relationship. I hope we DO find some couple to play with... but over the last couple of years we have met a giant pile of duds.

 

On a side note: We have been told by a number of butt-hurt-when-we-turn-them-down people that we aren't swingers because we require a level of physical attraction to play... what a bunch of hooey. I am sorry... but if you have bad breath or look like a Sasquatch... I think that we have the right to not fuck you.

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Yes... of course :) Our girlfriend and I have talked about it and she definitely wants to do that... We specifically discussed some of my wife's boy toys. I doubt that we will play with couples though... not because we are against that... it's just that we have gotten very tired of trying to find compatible couples - where we are all physically attracted and they are full swap and they are willing to play at a reasonable hour to make it enjoyable and they aren't fighting like cats and dogs or the wife isn't complaining about her husband any time he isn't in the room, etc etc etc. We are not Ken and Barbie and don't expect that our playmates be either... but it just seems like so much of a hassle anymore to find compatible couples who have a secure relationship. I hope we DO find some couple to play with... but over the last couple of years we have met a giant pile of duds.

 

Ugh, we go through long spurts where it's difficult to find a 4-way attraction, I'd imagine it's more difficult to find it for 5! It never worked out whenever we talked about trying to find another woman or couple to join the 4 of us when I was in a semi-relationship with the female half of a couple we'd been swinging with for a while. Oddly enough, she and I had just enough differences in our preference in men (it was her husband's personality that did it for me, not his physique) and the guys had just enough difference in their preferences in women's personalities (physically, they agreed completely, but my hubby is more attracted to neutral/subby women while the other hubby was more attracted to dominant-ish women)... It was almost impossible to find one person or couple who meshed well with all of us. Sometimes I'm not sure how all of us meshed so well for so long! :D

 

Keep us updated on how it goes as you try meeting people! I love hearing about how poly is accepted (or not accepted) in various areas. Especially when it includes other forms of nonmonogamy. ;)

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So far things are going great. We have been "dating" for a couple of weeks now... We are going to our Club tonight again. She attended with us once and was very turned on. So far, she hasn't been interested in playing with anyone else but that's ok... we have talked about it but this is all new to her. We are fine with how things are going.

 

Before us, she literally had only had a few lovers (4) and NONE of them had even ever given her an orgasm because they would all cum in less than a couple of minutes and be done. The only time she ever had an orgasm was by masturbating. She was just recently divorced after 5 years of marriage to a guy who was a virgin when they married and he was a very conservative guy who thought things like blowjobs were dirty.

 

She has gotten a real education over the last few weeks... she has been with her first girl, had her first threesome had a minimum of 6-7 orgasms every time we had sex. I suspect that we gave ruined the poor girl... but she said that she has learned what awesome sex is like... and she doesn't think that's a bad thing at all. She is a big girl. :)

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