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  1. #1
    (M) My wife and I have been in the ls about a year and a half now and it's been great. We have a friend we've know about a year and after a little encouragement from me and the wife she agreed to play with me. She's not comfortable playing with my wife home yet, so we always plan it when she's out. I think it may be going too far, though. We've gone out to dinner twice, alone, which my wife has told me no more. We talk almost everyday, hike and do stuff like that. I'm afraid this is becoming more than the FWB situation we agreed on.


  2. #2
    Swingers Board Addict lcmim's Avatar
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    married couple
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    lcmim
    Quote Originally Posted by Erik13 View Post
    (M) My wife and I have been in the ls about a year and a half now and it's been great. We have a friend we've know about a year and after a little encouragement from me and the wife she agreed to play with me. She's not comfortable playing with my wife home yet, so we always plan it when she's out. I think it may be going too far, though. We've gone out to dinner twice, alone, which my wife has told me no more. We talk almost everyday, hike and do stuff like that. I'm afraid this is becoming more than the FWB situation we agreed on.
    If YOU have that suspicion about yourself, then who should argue with you?
    If you have that suspicion about the lady in question, that is for you and your wife to sort out before you involve the lady in the discussion.

    My advice, from what you say, is to trust your gut.

  3. #3
    I can understand your friend being uncomfortable fucking in front of your wife the first couple of times, but she should get over it. And why can't your wife join you for dinner and hiking?

  4. #4
    If the wife has said stop, then you stop. The reason why doesn't matter. If either one of you says no, then the answer for the both of you is no. Time to move along.
    If you donít have to lie about sex, you donít have to lie about anything. - John Williamson

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Erik13 View Post
    Iím afraid this is becoming more than the FWB situation we agreed on.
    I strongly suggest you take the very next exit, Ďcuz I believe you are currently heading for ten miles of really bad road.

  6. #6
    Swingers Board Addict couplers's Avatar
    Status
    female in poly family
    Being alone with a sex partner from time-to-time for sex or otherwise is fun and fine, but all the time? Why?

  7. #7
    May I presume this woman has no partner of her own?

    I suspect not, as there has been no mention of it.

    Itís pretty obvious that this woman at best, wants a poly arrangement and at worst, wants to replace your wife.

    You should shut this down yesterday.

  8. #8
    Fast forward to now... I ended it with the girl yesterday. We ended up getting strong feelings for each other, which I was in denial about, but my wife saw it for months. She would come over when my wife was out and we would spend 6-7 hours together watching movies, etc. I had myself and my wife convinced we were just "friends".
    I should have listened to everyone warning me about it.

  9. #9
    Swingers Board Addict padoc's Avatar
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    couple
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    padoc
    This is probably a very painful lesson for you. It could have been very, very expensive. I'd suggest you put swinging activities on hiatus for a while and fix your marriage. Trust is a lot easier to maintain than it is to rebuild and you have a lot of work to do.


  10. #10
    Swingers Board Addict njbm's Avatar
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    couple
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    Scarletknight29
    The couple that plays together stays together. Couples that play separately have my admiration, but they are playing with fire.

  11. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by Erik13 View Post
    Fast forward to now... I ended it with the girl yesterday. We ended up getting strong feelings for each other...
    My wife and I have developed feelings for sex play partners, her "strong" feelings even. We believe it's a good thing actually to care about the people that you're fucking, and it's never diminished the love we have for one another. Besides, those feelings fade after a while.


    Quote Originally Posted by njbm View Post
    Couples that play separately have my admiration, but they are playing with fire.
    Fire can be useful, as can be playing alone. It's easier for two people to get together than three or four, and part of the variety.

  12. #12
    Quote Originally Posted by padoc View Post
    This is probably a very painful lesson for you. It could have been very, very expensive. I'd suggest you put swinging activities on hiatus for a while and fix your marriage. Trust is a lot easier to maintain than it is to rebuild and you have a lot of work to do.
    Thank you. Funny thing is my wife isn't even mad about it. She's relieved everything is out in the open. Biggest lesson I learned from this...swinging is a team sport. Be very careful when playing separately.

  13. #13
    Swingers Board Addict alexandsandra's Avatar
    Status
    married couple
    You need to take your wife on 1. a spectacular vacation or 2. a shopping spree in NY or Chicago.

  14. #14
    Swingers Board Addict couplers's Avatar
    Status
    female in poly family
    Quote Originally Posted by alexandsandra View Post
    You need to take your wife on 1. a spectacular vacation or 2. a shopping spree in NY or Chicago.
    You and your wife should have taken the girl on a vacation or shopping spree together. Hubby and I did that early on and it led to me becoming bi and our current poly family. Playing alone is fine, but playing together can also be great.

  15. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by couplers View Post
    You and your wife should have taken the girl on a vacation or shopping spree together. Hubby and I did that early on and it led to me becoming bi and our current poly family. Playing alone is fine, but playing together can also be great.
    We played alone because my wife found the girl very unattractive and didn't want to be in the house.

  16. #16
    Swingers Board Addict agreatguy's Avatar
    Status
    Couple - Man posting
    It sounds to me like you've got an amazing wife and an incredibly strong marriage. You did the right thing by ending it and by doing that you may very well have strengthened the trust and respect you and your wife have for and in each other. Lesson learned and with that in mind give your wife the attention and admiration she deserves. I suspect it won't take long for the two of you to regroup and find a better fit.

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