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I have found someone I would like to be in more of a FWB situation rather than relationship but open to the possibility of it being long term. But labels aside, I've gotten the feeling my new friend has some reservations/hesitation because I'm married. He obviously knows this is okay, but I'm having a hard time getting him to follow through on meeting up since I asked him. Is there anything I should/could say or do to help ease his mind?

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I really can't think of anything you could do or say if your other guy isn't cool with you being married. It's his life, and he knows he's always going to be the second wheel. For many men, this would be a deal breaker. Sorry, but not everything works out in life the way we'd like it too.

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He's most likely tortured inside with 2 forces pulling him in different directions. The desire to have sex combating with his pointless desire to have you to himself. Dealing with single men is more challenging that it appears on the surface. I would consider this a red flag. If you get him to agree to see you watch carefully for signs of danger to your relationship.

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I will repeat.

 

Is he concerned about your husband?

 

You say obviously he knows it is OK.

 

How does he know? From you or your husband?

 

Second his concern about your husband may not stem from worrying that your husband might act out.

Your potential FWB might just be having personal issues about cheating with a married woman.

 

I know, yes, your husband is on board and by the common definition it is not "cheating". That does not mean that FWB has internalized that concept.

 

There is a fairly large population that would still categorize what you propose as adultery. I wouldn't , but I know many would disagree with me.

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Invite your potential FWB to meet you and your husband at a restaurant (not your house, not a bar) to have a meal, and discuss nonsexual things. Either the chemistry will be there and everyone will be good with sex another day, or it will just be a pleasant evening.

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