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NotnewNotpros

Feeling defeated at finding people to swing with

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We were really clicking with a couple. It was going great. Taking our time. Really getting to know them. Taking the sex part slowly. We decide to have an over night away. We didn’t care if it didn’t go fully to sex...and the wife freaked out. Can’t do. Can’t be open etc..:so had a decent rest of the weekend and such and of course we respect that but I’m getting so tired of putting in time and effort. We had a wonderful poly thing for two years two years ago and we’d love to find it again and I understand you can’t force anything and such but to keep meeting people and putting in time and effort for it to end is getting defeating.

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If you are not having fun, take a break. Swinging is a competitive sport. You win some , lose some. If it is getting to you and not fun, don’t do it.

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This isn't easy...nobody said it would be. But when you meet the right couple, it CAN be amazing. Sounds like this other couple did you a favor by figuring out that it wasn't right for them before things went any further. When you met your SO, I'm sure it wasn't the first person you met. Well, finding a four way match is WAY harder. In the end, you have two choices: do the work to hopefully eventually find a match or just give up and quit. There is no 'right' choice, just the choice you choose to make. We wish you the best of luck with whatever way you choose to go.

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