View Poll Results: How much does your doctor know about your lifestyle?

Voters
234. You may not vote on this poll
  • My Dr. is fully aware of my lifestyle and supports me.

    35 14.96%
  • Dr. knows, but not everything; too embarrassing.

    17 7.26%
  • I think Doc suspects but he doesn't ask, I don't tell.

    16 6.84%
  • Dr. is unaware of my lifestyle & it stays that way!

    166 70.94%
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Results 1 to 25 of 177
  1. #1

    Default Does your doctor know you swing?

    When did you tell your doctor you and your S.O. swing? Are there any interesting/embarrassing/odd/life-affirming moments you would care to share? Very curious as to other people's experiences.


  2. #2

    Post

    There is really no reason your dr. needs to know. Sure they will probably give you funny looks when you ask for AIDS/STD testing since you are married and presumed monogomous, but it's really none of their business.
    The Swinger Manual - all the info from the Swingers Board in one convenient book

  3. #3

    Angry

    Why would my family doctor need to know?

    I get enough grief from the SOB about smoking, and my divorce from 4 years ago!! He works with my ex

    David -- the anal one
    Phonies and Fakes Need not apply. We're as real as it gets, and don't have time to be wasting on dumbasses.

  4. #4

    Post

    One of us can speak pretty truthfully about doctors and patients (which one, hmmm? Not tellin' *LOL*)

    You have to find a good doctor, one that you can talk honestly to, and trust -- which is not easy, but certainly possible, even in this day and age.

    The problem is that unless you tell your doctor, honestly, about your concerns and 'activities' you can never expect to get the best medical care. It's a little like not telling your mechanic that your car is making a funny noise and expecting them to find, prevent and fix problems around that noise 'by magic.'

    This is ESPECIALLY true for women (you should have good regular gyne care at least once a year -- preferably every 6 months.

    Why? Because it makes a difference. From PAP smears preventing cervical cancer deaths, to early detection of prostate cancer from rectal exams, there is a lot that your doctor can do to help you.

    That said, most good doctors, if they see you for a while (especially if you request certain tests, drugs, etc.) will know pretty much that we are up to what we are up to
    ...and really, truly, most of them don't care one way or another what you do in your sex life, as long as you are willing to listen to a few things that we know about STDs/pregnancy/AIDs/herpes/HPV. We know that people are having sex, and we have it too (some of it just a kinky as anyone) but we also know that we can HELP you have it, and stay healthy, keep your partners (and swap partners) healthy, if you are honest.

    It IS our business, because good doctors care about patients as friends, lovers -- and yes, as clients in a business. However, I can tell you that we'd rather keep you happy and healthy and have you as a paying patient for a long, long time, than have you get sick (hopefully) from something that we could have helped you avoid, and can easily treat. You don't want to know what it is like to have a patient make a fatal or lethal mistake, simply because they felt you didn't need to know.

    People resent doctors, mothers and clergy because they see us as the three types of people that 'can tell us what to do.' But honestly, most of us do this as a calling, we are not millionaires who golf every wednesday, and we genuinely want our patients to be happy and healthy.

    So, if your doctor tells you to wear a condom if you have sex with someone you don't know well, or to smoke less *or not at all,* try not to get mad. We have a duty to pass on what we know to you, and then you make your own choices.

  5. #5

    Default

    I admitted to me GU doctor about being in the lifestyle, after about a hour of tutting and asking me questions about if i was using precations ect ect. he made sure I had a bag full of condoms and a reg appointment for every six weeks for a check up
    Always try things three times:
    1st time to try it out. 2nd time to see if it's better. 3rd time just to recap 1st and 2nd.

  6. #6

    Default Doctor

    I dont think I would bring it up to my Doctor. We limit our activity to touching and oral, I guess if I ever contract something orally I would tell him rather than have him think I cought it from my husband, but hopefully that will never happen

  7. #7

    Default

    Geezzze, check up every 6 weeks....I don't think so

    We use condoms....so hopefullly.......

  8. #8

    Default

    Originally posted by Nymph an' Satyr
    Geezzze, check up every 6 weeks....I don't think so

    We use condoms....so hopefullly.......
    Um So do I, but you know doctors better safe than sorry, infact I dont really mind, If I ever did catch anything I'd rather find out sooner than later. Also the free condoms come in handy
    Always try things three times:
    1st time to try it out. 2nd time to see if it's better. 3rd time just to recap 1st and 2nd.

  9. #9

    Default do you tell your doctor?

    every six weeks???

    I think he's got the hots for you

    - and no I haven't told my doctor - I'd like to but this one is a real b*tch. If I could get another one I'd be moving on. Every time I need to make an appointment I think about finding a new doctor but... with the state of health care in Canada they are all leaving for the states.

    I actually thought about switching to a walk in clinic near to the University I figure they've seen everything.

    Naughty A.


  10. #10

    Default Re: do you tell your doctor?

    Originally posted by naughty A
    ... with the state of health care in Canada they are all leaving for the states.

    I actually thought about switching to a walk in clinic near to the University I figure they've seen everything.
    Naughty A.
    I thought you Canadians had a better health care system than in the US? Maybe it's screwed up everywhere.

    And yeah, I work at a university, and our health clinic spends A LOT of time on sexually related issues. They don't bat an eye.

  11. #11

    Default Re: do you tell your doctor?

    Originally posted by naughty A
    every six weeks???

    I think he's got the hots for you

    - and no I haven't told my doctor - I'd like to but this one is a real b*tch. If I could get another one I'd be moving on. Every time I need to make an appointment I think about finding a new doctor but... with the state of health care in Canada they are all leaving for the states.

    I actually thought about switching to a walk in clinic near to the University I figure they've seen everything.

    Naughty A.
    This is very true, we have a doctor shortage in this area. I would hesitate to go the clinic route as a regular means for care. Some clinics really limit their services and referals/follow ups may not be easy.

    Just my 2 cents

    Annette
    I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week.

  12. #12

    Default

    would hesitate to go the clinic route as a regular means for care. Some clinics really limit their services and referals/follow ups may not be easy.
    Yeah, that's why I keep going to see my regular doctor even though I don't like her. but then I wonder how good is the care that I am receiving?

  13. #13

    Default

    Why would you tell your Dr something like that? I can't think of a reason that the subject would even come up.

  14. #14

    Default

    Carol-n-Gary

    lots of reasons.

    if you are having difficulties with sex? it could be allergies to latex or something else.

    I was horrendously allergic to a particular lubricant (that my OB/GYN recommended after some minor surgery- cancer free- thanks for asking) the worse it got the more I used until I made the connection.

    I had a rash on my breasts/stomach after being with another couple - turned out it was food related...

    do you go for a regular cervical PAPP smear ? ... well if you are having anal sex with your regular partner (ie. husband) even occassionally - you are supposed to have one there too - I'll pass thanks.

    I don't want to discuss MY particular health problems here - though it looks like i just did and I always do with my swing partners - including my food allergies NOW! suffice it to say there are lots of reasons to discuss your sexual habits with your doctor even if you DO NOT suspect STD's

    your sexual history plays a big part of your health and its not just about STD's. I plan to have sex the rest of my life and you know I think I will take this as the push I needed to tell her.

    sorry if this sounds like I jumped on you - it is a bit of a sensative subject.

    Naughty A.

  15. #15

    Default

    Naughty A:

    I'm interested in your comment quoted below:

    - do you go for a regular cervical PAPP smear ? ... well if you are having anal sex with your regular partner (ie. husband) even occassionally - you are supposed to have one there too -

    Did your MD actually tell you this?

    The Pap smear is designed to detect changes in the cells found at the so-called "squamocolumnar juction" of the cervix. Such a smear would be completely useless if done from a rectal or anal scraping, and I know of no doctor who would advocate such a test. You will *not* get precancerous/cancerous changes in the anal/rectal region from HPV exposure.

    Now, if your MD claimed you can get genital warts in the anal/rectal region from unprotected anal sex, that's a different story ... and there *are* swabs/cultures that can be collected to check for that, although I think simple inspection usually gives things away!

    Svrtas

  16. #16

    Default

    Svrtas

    my information comes form a book about Anal sex for women

    no - not a PAPP specifically but it mentioned swab/culture and essentially the same procedure from the woman's point of view(not the dr's)... if you know what I mean.

    are you a health care professional? I'd rather not discuss this in open forum.

    P.S. I went back to review the book after posting and it mentions as part of your routine physical - breast exam, pelvic exam, pap smear AND - rectal exam -(not just a visual look-see) AND to definitely have these done together - ESPECIALLY if you are having Anal SEX -- I mentally combined the two - apologies for the confusion.

    I wish someone else would jump in on this topic - I think health & what we tell our Dr's should be something we are all very concerned about.

  17. #17

    Default

    Originally posted by naughty A
    Carol-n-Gary

    lots of reasons.

    if you are having difficulties with sex? it could be allergies to latex or something else.

    I was horrendously allergic to a particular lubricant (that my OB/GYN recommended after some minor surgery- cancer free- thanks for asking) the worse it got the more I used until I made the connection.

    I had a rash on my breasts/stomach after being with another couple - turned out it was food related...

    do you go for a regular cervical PAPP smear ? ... well if you are having anal sex with your regular partner (ie. husband) even occassionally - you are supposed to have one there too - I'll pass thanks.

    I don't want to discuss MY particular health problems here - though it looks like i just did and I always do with my swing partners - including my food allergies NOW! suffice it to say there are lots of reasons to discuss your sexual habits with your doctor even if you DO NOT suspect STD's

    your sexual history plays a big part of your health and its not just about STD's. I plan to have sex the rest of my life and you know I think I will take this as the push I needed to tell her.

    sorry if this sounds like I jumped on you - it is a bit of a sensative subject.

    Naughty A.
    We still don't see any of those instances making it a reson to tell the Care Provider that we Swing.


  18. #18

    Default

    any of those examples that I gave could just as easily have been STD's

    your Health Care Provider is SUPPOSED to know your sex history in order to provide you with the best health care possible for you.

    hey - I haven't told my Dr. either - because I'm uncomfortable with her - BUT I recognize that I SHOULD be telling her.

  19. #19

    Default

    Sorry but I agree with Carol-n-Gary on this one. All my doctor needs to know is that I'm "sexually active". He asked me that question and I told him yes. Whether I have one partner or 500 is none of his business unless of course I come up with HIV, in which case there are certain legal requirements. The doctor is supposed to treat your symptoms, not impose moral judgements about your lifestyle.

  20. #20

    Default doc see its like this !

    Iím not sure I agree with some of the for mentioned comments. A doctor is your lifeline to healthy living whether or not he/she agrees to a lifestyle he/she can still help you be protected from harm and help you be both physically and mentally well.

    The best medicine is prevention.

  21. #21

    Default

    We would never ever tell our doctor that we are swingers. Some things are just best kept to themselves. However he knows that we are nudists and we did'nt have to say anything to him - the sight of our all-over tans during our annual check-up obviously gave the game away! However, he asked us where we got our tans so then we told him we often visited nude resorts and beaches. We also shave our bodies and he was quite blase about that, taking the sight of our hairless pubig regions totally in his stride.

    Brian and Jo

  22. #22

    Default heart burn ! well it may be stress ! are you stressed!

    Iím not sure if some of you are confusing the fact of telling your doctor about swinging or the fact that you donít have a relationship with your doctor. Meaning this, a doctor and you have to have a personal relationship for him to fully evaluate your problems. A general practitioner should be able to diagnose a mental ailment as well as a physical ailment. Iím not sure I would tell my oncologist (specialist) but my trust of my general practitioner that I know .I would tell him everything he did take an oath and everything is confidential. How can he help me with my health if I only tell him half of my story?

  23. #23

    Default Doctors ewww

    I had to see a neurologist. So on the first visit, I sat in the room waiting for him to come in. When he did, he asked "What are you doing in my office?"

    He's a brain doc -- and he's asking me this???

    Not a good sign.

    So, being myself, I say in response "Wondering what that is running down your wall," and I kinda look over to the wall and point.

    The brain doc looks at the wall, looks back at me (I'm staring at the wall sort of with an -- ewww thats gross -- look on my face) he looks both ways again and says "Where?"

    So I point again and I say "Right there doc, it kind of smells funny too, maybe you should call someone."

    The brain doc looks at the wall where I am pointing, looks back at me...only I couldn't take it anymore and I started to laugh.

    He was very releaved, and now I think he's an ok doc...at first tho...what a dork.

    It is hard to tell your doctor stuff.

    Its much more fun to tease them.

    Wont get you healthy. Communication is the key for so many doors.

    smilie worked that time...wierd
    April in Tulsa - it's fun for everyone!

  24. #24

    Default Doctor info as necessary............

    Was in lifestyle with first husband all through the 80's. It seemed to be a pretty wide open time, very infrequent use of condoms, etc. Most medical concerns more on a one to one basis (like if you were of child bearing capability).
    Of course, that was when it was widely believed the worst thing you could pass or get was Herpes.
    Now second husband and I are slowly wading our way into the lifestyle. Almost everyone's ads on the sites require DDF - so I guess I am wondering. Do people take other's word for it, or do they require test results? Do you get those from your "regular" doctor or go to a clinic to have done?
    And since body fluids are primary method of tranmitting - how is some feel comfortable with oral, but won't do more?
    Guess this should have been a new thread, as it asks more questions than addressed in earlier posts.

  25. #25

    Default

    Sounds like a question for your doctor the medical professional the one who can answer all those and more with exact knowledge and understanding. Who has years of training and is an expert in health and disease.


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