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intuition897

Did You "Jump In" swinging or did you "Wade In"?

Did you jump into the lifestyle, or wade in?  

158 members have voted

  1. 1. Did you jump into the lifestyle, or wade in?

    • 0 mph. The lifestyle is at a stand-still for us.
      7
    • Slow speed. Just fantasy so far.
      15
    • Medium-slow. We're moving ahead but VERY cautiously.
      30
    • Medium. Talk and action were pretty balanced.
      30
    • Medium-fast. Very few obstacles slowed us down.
      34
    • We jumped right in; swinging was a perfect fit for us.
      49


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I'm curious to see what everyone's initial experiences were in this respect. Perhaps this has been polled already, but I'll try it again. So did you start out slowly and gradually with much talk, or did you just decide one night, on a lark, to hit a club and the rest was history?

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We went right in, feet first.

 

Decided to swing in January of 2006.

 

First meet & greet was 2 weeks later and that very night we were at a house party...our first swinging experience.

 

We haven't looked back.

 

E

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Mrs Van and I jumped in head first! :D We really aren't the slow moving types and yes this caused some issues at first, but in the long term we haven't looked back and we have been very lucky that all of our encounters up to this point have been great!

 

-Van

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Medium. However in the terms of some people starting off with voyeurism or soft swap and/or lots of rules we didn't. We just went straight in with full-swap very few rules.

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I said 'medium fast' because when we decided to do it... we jumped in and did it. But at that time we still lived in our small home-town and we would only party and play when we travelled. We had kids at home so we didn't travel often..... so swinging was at a stand still for years. But the START was jumping in without delay! And as empty nesters we are restarting that life again - and again jumping in without delay!

 

Sarah

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We took a running leap. :D Even though it was 6 months from the night at the strip club that started our ideas of swinging all until we went to Hedo I, once we got there, we didn't waste time. We soft swapped the second night of the trip, and full swapped the next afternoon. It didn't seem too fast at all.

 

Pepper

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We waded for years after having a couple of threesomes that we weren't ready for. But once we joined a great website this year for couples in area, we felt ready and took the plunge -- there's been some bumps in the road but we handled it, and what a fantastic ride its been! :4some::4some:

 

girls n boys :)

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We went VERY slow...

 

It took us six months to go from agreeing to start exploring to doing our first soft swap.

 

After that - we put on our running shoes :D

 

Spoomonkey

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Yep, same with us, we discussed and researched it for about a year but once we decided to do it, we jumped right in.

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We're taking our time.

 

I first mentioned it in the summer and we've had our "discussions, questions, what if's". We are now attending a local club, meeting new couples, getting tons of advice from you fine folks.

 

It will come... and we'll be waiting when it does. :)

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We jumped right in... After we decided we would like to try playing with another couple, we posted our first profile on SLS the very next day. Two weeks later we were in a hot tub and then bed having our first full swap.

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We talk and played on line with a few couple. Then things went cold.. Then one day it started up and its been going ever since. Now she even enjoys watching porn...

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It was about three months from the time we first started talking about swinging to actually doing our first full swap. I (Mrs. LFM) needed to do a lot of investigating and research before actually just jumping in. :) Thankfully, I found this board and that helped me more than anything!

 

Unfortunately, our schedules have really sucked this fall, but we're hoping that this winter our schedules will allow us time for more play. We have no clubs here, so we do interviews only. Those are fun, too. It gets us out of the house and we get to share a great meal with some great folks. :)

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We talked and talked, but once we paid for our SLS site, we got up on the high dive, jumped around a bit, and plunged right in. Not many rules. We are trying to establish the "friends with benefits" type of relationships, so we haven't been "hard core." But, so far so good and we're having fun. In the sun. Duh.

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We have heard a number of good things about SLS but we havent had any luck on that site. Now maybe its because we dont have pics but after tomorrow there will be.. :kissface:

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I had to choose 'medium-slow'.We were somewhat active in the past,but a few bad experiences caused us to back out.Now we're slowly working it back in,watching for the 'warning signs'. :surrender

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We have heard a number of good things about SLS but we havent had any luck on that site. Now maybe its because we dont have pics but after tomorrow there will be.. :kissface:

 

Seems like some folks have better luck than others ... I wonder if the geographics isn't the culprit. We have private pics only up, so for us, that means we have to be the hunters ... we send a lot of initial emails to get a conversation going. You also have to develop thick skin too, and not get upset if someone sends a "no thanks" email back or completely ignores you. Instead of stressing over the not nice people, I just look forward to getting emails back from the fun folks.

 

Good luck!!

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We have heard a number of good things about SLS but we havent had any luck on that site. Now maybe its because we dont have pics but after tomorrow there will be.. :kissface:

Yes, I think you will find that having pictures, especially public photos, even if they don't show faces, makes a big difference. We were members of SLS for about 2 years before we put up pictures and I don't recall ever having anyone contact us during the time we didn't have any pictures. Now that we have pictures, it is rare not to get a couple new contacts a week.

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We're wading. But we're wading faster and faster and it's getting so wet we can taste it! We started talking about it seriously in January and agreed on our first ad on another website. We met a long distance couple from that and wasted alot of time and turned them off because we were too timid. Since then, we've been on SLS and met many more local couples and now we're ready to dive in!

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Slow, but cautiously because of some of the drama that can happen.We've been reading some of the threads here and don't want the same things to happen to us. We really try to get to know a couple, after that, it is on.

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Well, I think this is a good poll :D

 

We fell in.... sorta. Then treaded water and learned we could swim. Then after a very long time away from the pool we wanted to swim and understand all the different ways to enjoy the water. Only this time we had learned in life, never dive in head first into unknown waters.

 

We talked allot between each other. Read the warnings about the shallow and deep ends. Never swim alone, life guards are rarely on duty. Don't swim immediately after eating or you'll go blind or something :rollseye: So we jumped in, this time feet first, holding each others hand.

 

And, were always ready to give lessons to those who don't know how to swim, but aren't afraid of water.

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Medium fast only due tot he fact that we started to play solo first and then after a few months, decided to play with a couple as a couple. From that moment, we have never looked back.

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Medium Fast. We jumped in with a MFM with really no discussion up front, it happened and we had no regrets.

 

After that we spent a few months talking and researching, joining websites, etc. When we did decide what we were looking for and what we were willing to do, we jumped right in.

 

Another reason I chose medium - fast - we didn't jump right in at the first opportunity, but when it felt right, we didn't feel the need to take any baby-steps. We were ready, and knew what we wanted.

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We started very slowly once we decided how to start. By going to a local club. We went and were very nervous and cautious. We checked it all out and then jumped in all feet forward and had a great time. And been having a great time ever since

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We talked about it for a long time, this being her first time. And after my jump right in during my first marriage, we wanted to take it slowly. we are now moving at our pace.

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I raised the question of finding a place where we could make love outdoors. At first I was not thinking about swinging. But, I found a club in Florida with a fully enclosed backyard where couples could enjoy sex with each other, and the prospect of having sex with another woman was attractive.

 

We talked about it for a while, and my wife finally said that I should s**t or get off the pot. Next day I called to make a reservation for the introductory session which that club offered.

 

The rest, as they say, is history!

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We jumped in feet first holding hands, in the deep end... paddled to the shallow end for a few months, then climbed out and headed for the diving board. No cannon balls yet, although a few people have been drenched....

 

How's that for an extended metaphor? Although Fun4d's takes the prize!

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It seems that Trixie voted Medium-Slow for us but did not comment.

 

We have had a half of a three-way experience. We got all huggy and kissy with another girl but we did not actually do much of anything to be considered sex with her. However... we have set up another date to meet up with her and move forward on that front.

 

As for actual swinging (as it seems many of you don't consider 3-ways swinging) we have dipped our feet in the pool recently. We have been to a swingers club twice now and the last time we went a couple took our number. In fact... we have a "date" with them tonight! We are meeting at a bar for drinks and discussion.

 

Other than that... we are indeed taking things slow as we are totally new to all of this. We have been talking about how we feel about all of this more than anything.

 

Speed

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We jumped right in, feet first! Some friends told us about their new hobby, we asked a lot of questions, and we (okay, I) made up our minds to give it a go. Next thing we know, we're invited to join our friends at a M&G, and we ended up playing that next morning! Our profile on SLS went up a touch over a week later, and we've been playing ever since.

 

=)

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Somewhere in between "Slow speed. Just fantasy so far." and "Medium-slow. We're moving ahead but VERY cautiously.". Not sure how to define it, that's why we are here.

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Somewhere in between "Slow speed. Just fantasy so far." and "Medium-slow. We're moving ahead but VERY cautiously.". Not sure how to define it' date=' that's why we are here.[/quote']

 

 

Definitely slow. Enjoying the fantasy with a touch of reality

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We waded in...first skinny dipping and A LOT of talk and flirting with other couple. Then kissing that progressed to oral sex before finally intercourse. We only swapped with them for several months. Over the last year we have played one other couple somewhat regularly and have attended 3 parties.

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I voted "Jumped right in..." as we did actually do that. We talked about the LifeStyle for two years, but until we actually made the decision, I don't think I consider that even having a fantasy as we had not yet agreed to try it.

 

When we did attend our first house party, my wife was very nervous. A few of the gentlemen there sat down and chatted with her and she began to loosen up... then it was like a duck to water. :facelick::D

 

I also had no hangups at all... I had been in a 'sharing' situation once before with no problems. I was more concerned about my lovely bride.

 

Cheers!

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It seems that Trixie voted Medium-Slow for us but did not comment.

 

We have had a half of a three-way experience. We got all huggy and kissy with another girl but we did not actually do much of anything to be considered sex with her. However... we have set up another date to meet up with her and move forward on that front.

 

As for actual swinging (as it seems many of you don't consider 3-ways swinging) we have dipped our feet in the pool recently. We have been to a swingers club twice now and the last time we went a couple took our number. In fact... we have a "date" with them tonight! We are meeting at a bar for drinks and discussion.

 

Other than that... we are indeed taking things slow as we are totally new to all of this. We have been talking about how we feel about all of this more than anything.

 

Speed

 

 

Aw, this is fun to read again!

 

Since our first "playdate" ended up being a full-swap, I'd say after sitting by the edge of the pool, we were ready to jump in! We didn't swap again for a couple of weeks to let things "sink in" but now we're in the swing of things, so to speak....

 

:D Trixie

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It is indeed fun to look back at that post!

 

It seems we went from Medium slow to Holy Chit pretty quick!

 

The entire experience was awesome.... but I guess that is for another thread ;)

 

Speed.

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