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MFMF went BAD / MMF was GREAT. why that? (first experiences)

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Hi everybody, I'm the male part of a couple. We had recently our first couple/couple meeting. We met them online and invited them over our place. We talked for one hour and started to have sex. I couldn't get hard at ALL. Ok I did get hard but for about 2 minutes when the 2 girls were "trying" to make me hard and sucking me but soon went back to noodle mode. It was a very embarrassing and shameful moment. On top of being the party breaker I was feeling horrible as a man... I'm still feeling bad about it today...

I've to admit I only saw the girl from pictures and when I saw her in real life I wasn't very much attracted to her... but anyway how do I know it is that?

My wife is a showgirl (no nudity) and she is extremely beautiful looking and maybe I got too used to that? also it was hard for me to have two centers of focus between me and that girl and my wife and the other hubby.

 

We met then a really cool guy online and he came over to our place. Me and that guy had sex with my wife for about 2 hours it was very wild and I was hard as a rock all the time. it was an extremely erotic experience. She looked so hot and beautiful I was totally turned on. btw I was active in the MMF to whole time.

 

Is there something wrong with me? Am I not made for MFMF swinging and I am one of these guys who prefers that someone fucks his own wife instead of having sex with another wife?

 

Just to clear it out, I did a lot of MF, FFM before to meet my wife and I never had any erectile problem. Also, never had once one with my wife since I'm with her. Also, I do not have a small penis (i'm 7inches). I am 100% straight. And I am not into cuckold/humiliation at all.

 

We found now online a couple really super hot and which we connect a lot more, I find the girl totally in my taste and we shall meet them soon. I am so scared now that we meet them and to not get hard... I know it's the worse to think of that but I can't help it... I don't want to feel humiliated like that again... what shall I do? Am I stuck on MMF and FFM forever?

 

Thanks a lot for any suggestion and help.

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I think you were not attracted to the other woman. If you want, take another swing at it with a more attractive woman. You could also try a separate room from your wife so you are not distracted. Or stick with MMF if you prefer it.

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I wasn't very much attracted to her

 

Stopped reading right there. I mean come on man, you put the stress of swinging in terms of performance on TOP of not being attracted to the woman and wonder why you couldn't get it up?

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Viagra will help that. Its no big deal.. some times men are not in the mood. We cant fake it or force it like a woman can. When we get older it gets harder to have a erection thats all... Some guys use the Ed stuff when the swing it makes sense to me.. But hell if you are not attracted to her.. you should not swing with her.

Unless you use the little blue pill. Then you can be a true stud...

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One encounter does not make "that's the way I'll always be".

Maybe you were to distracted, maybe you were to tired, maybe the experience was to new. Who knows... could be lots of reasons. One thing I know for sure is if you keep thinking / focusing on it you'll be sure to have the same problem again.

Try thinking about it this way. If you had oral sex with the othet woman, fingered her, kissed her etc. Then you had sex with her. You simply didnt have penis in vagina sex with her.

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Maybe try meeting outside your home for the first time, to see if there's a connection. If you hit it off, you can agree on a house/hotel to meet at. It can be a bit awkward to have a couple in your house, with the known expectation of sex later, only to realize that one or other of you isn't attracted to the other couple.

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Reading you guys it seems obvious I'm rushing to conclusion and I shall just come down at bit. Meeting the couples from pictures to real directly was probably not a good idea, specially as we have no experiences... and it's true putting the performance on top of the problem before the one of being not attracted by the woman isn't good at all. I just felt pressure that performing (P in V) or not performing would affect the whole mood of the evening for the 3 others because of me... yes without P in V it could be fun too, but it's not the same as 4 people really turned on and having fun. But as you said if I focus on that it will be much worse. I thought the situation would be such a turn on that even without much attraction with the other wife I'd feel excited but... I guess I'm wrong and I need more connection with the other girl not even only physically.

But do you guys with experience pick the people of the other couple the same way you would do if you were single on a date in term of attraction, interest? I believe as you are in love in your own couple, you are less picky? or there I am again so wrong! :)

We're supposed to meet this new couple next month which are way more matching our taste (both my wife and I) and I hope it will go well.

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I think you definitely need to meet the other couple in a non-pressured environment first. If there's no connection among the four of you then just move on. It's really difficult to find that chemistry. My wife and I met sverela couples where there could be a connection among two people but not among four. We eventually just settled for MFM. It's a lot easier.

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My wife and I met several couples where there could be a connection among two people but not among four. We eventually just settled for MFM. It's a lot easier.

 

Almost the exact same situation with us too. It is very difficult to find other straight couples in our area where we can all make a connection. Yes, we still play as couples when the opportunity arises. But for the most part the MFM has been really working for us.

 

Just relax and enjoy the situation....no matter whatever way it goes.

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When we started this journey, our 'mentor' explained it this way: In your 'normal' life, how often do you like both halves of a couple? For instance, I absolutely adore my BFF, but I dislike her dh.

It's the same in the swinging world. Our mentor said he and his wife eventually decided on separate play for this reason.

DH and I aren't into separate play/going on dates alone, but we do enjoy a good threesome. :) It was our first experience and still my favorite.

We have found a soft swap couple we like to play with, and just like in general. I think that is very rare. We're actually all attending a workshop at a somewhat local sex shop on Sunday, and we're all really looking forward to that.

 

In the beginning it is really easy to get overwhelmed with urgency for lack of a better term. Just remember what your goal is; ours is to enhance our relationship.

 

Another option is to meet at a local club or event, if there are any in your area. That way if you don't click, there are still a lot of people to meet.

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thanks a lot guys for your answers. We did enjoy the MMF so much we'll do more of them for sure. FFM is almost impossible online to find... and hope to have our next MMFF getting as good as our MMF experience!

 

we shall meet first in a neutral place as you said, not only from photos (was naive of us) and have an plan B escape in case it doesn't match (somehow we are still reluctant about SexClubs maybe it will come with time and experiences).

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I too enjoy MFM with my wife. Couple play i tricky in that there needs to be 4 people with chemistry. We never meet for first time with intention of playing. Dont rush it get to know the couples the other woman, flirt, seduce enjoy the journey then if all is hot! Play the next date. The anticipation and build up to fucking is so much fun! An dont hesitate to say not interested, dont pressure or take one for the team.

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Guest sandraandalex

Susan here--Just a note about Viagra. It does not work if you are not aroused.

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Slow down on the getting horizontal idea. Meet people and if there is an attraction then great. If not don't move forward. We'll often meet someone 2-4 times before we ever get going.

 

Truthfully it is much easier to find a likeable single male for the MMF than to find 4 people who are all compatible. There always seems to be one lame duck in the foursome.

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Yes Dido to Gordo and Sandraandalex. I do take Cialias 5mg daily and haven't had any erection problems yet, We have played with couples where the other man did have erection problems and I think it's the condom thing. Better safe than dead so condoms we use.

I quit drinking alcohol when were are going to play and treat swinging like the athletic event that it is. Plenty of water and wholesome fluids in plenty of fluids out!! Whisky dick is "lame".

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