Jump to content
Tadahiko

Extended overseas assignment

Recommended Posts

My wife and I are struggling a little bit because my employer will soon be sending me to England for 6-9 months of training. I'm excited because 1) It's a prestigious, high-profile position, 2) I've never been overseas, and I will have opportunities to travel around Europe a bit. 3) If they are going to invest that sort of time in my training, it's a little less likely they're thinking of laying me off anytime soon. Besides, it's not optional. It's either go or quit my job. In this economy, that's not an option.

 

The down side is a very long stretch away from my wife, our lover, and of course my kids. We really don't have the money for the family to come visit, and Kari wouldn't take more than a week or so off from work anyway.

 

Which brings us to the point of my post. As I have stated before, we are NOT swingers. Though we've played--together--with a number of people that we have a larger, non-sexual relationship with, Kari and I have always had a firm rule that separate encounters are off-limits (except with Anna, obviously).

 

Wondering if we should (in order of our current preference):

A) Have sex as the opportunity presents itself, with the understanding that we have to provide full disclosure to the other(s).

B) Let Anna and Kari keep each other satisfied while I stick with phone/cyber sex and jerk off a lot waiting to come home.

C) Separate with the understanding that what we do during the interim is our own business, that we are free to share or not.

D) Treat this as an experiment in having separate encounters, which could continue or not continue once I am back home.

E) Make a pact that nobody ever brings up separate encounters, good or bad, and they end when we reunite.

 

We have read so many conflicting things about this. We actually both think the idea of recounting hot encounters to each other would be a turn-on. But if there is one thing we've learned from reading this board, it's that fantasies and reality are often very, very, different.

 

(Anna, BTW, said she's cool with whatever Kari and I decide. We don't have a "three way marriage" by a long shot. Despite our triad relationship, Kari truly is my wife, and Anna is not. So she's not so concerned about it. All she stipulated was no bareback riding!)

 

Any advice for us?

Share this post


Link to post

Any advice for us?

 

Sit down and discuss it. There's no way I can tell you which answer is right for the two (or three) of you.

 

Whatever everyone is comfortable with is what the decision will be.

 

Congratulations on being chosen for this assignment, and good luck with your conversation! :)

Share this post


Link to post

thats just it .... we have been discussing it, and discussing it! we're afraid that even though we think this could seems an awesome 'excuse' to try playing around separately within some controlled parameters, we have heard horror stories about people who regretted it

Share this post


Link to post

Keep it simple, why chance something negative happening.

 

As you state, you guys seem to be looking at it as an "excuse" so no excuses, just don't do it.

 

Everyone can live with 6 to 9 months time off. Let the ladies have their fun with each other and tell you about it on the phone.

 

If making the decision is this hard for the three of you then I would think NOT doing others would be the best solution.

Share this post


Link to post

I'm afraid I have to chime in on the "take some time off" advice. You will be dealing with a lot of stress with your first time traveling for extended periods. You all are not sure how you will react, and over the phone/net is NOT the way to try to deal with complex relationship issues. I can't stress that enough. If you folks had all come to some happy accord then my advice would be different, but you haven't, so now is not the time to experiment with your relationship. 6-9 months you can survive with limited to no sex. Experimenting around with your relationship is not worth it there, IMO.

 

But DO try to get a conjugal visit, you'd be surprised at how cheap it is to fly international if you get the right flight. I've seen them as low as $400-500 round trip. It will make your relationship stronger if you can show her around some of the sights and places you've discovered. I've traveled all over Europe. England is a *neat* place, so enjoy the time there.

Share this post


Link to post

:rolleyes:......... (B)

 

:rolleyes:.........

 

Yep, (B)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh, one more thing.

 

Keyboard webcam, splash shield

Share this post


Link to post
Wondering if we should (in order of our current preference):

A) Have sex as the opportunity presents itself, with the understanding that we have to provide full disclosure to the other(s).

B) Let Anna and Kari keep each other satisfied while I stick with phone/cyber sex and jerk off a lot waiting to come home.

C) Separate with the understanding that what we do during the interim is our own business, that we are free to share or not.

D) Treat this as an experiment in having separate encounters, which could continue or not continue once I am back home.

E) Make a pact that nobody ever brings up separate encounters, good or bad, and they end when we reunite.

 

I'd immediately and permanently rule out © and (E). Keeping things from each other isn't a way to harmony, especially when you're going to be separated by several thousand miles. Bad, bad news. Do this, and you'll feel disconnection seeping in. This is NOT good.

 

We have read so many conflicting things about this. We actually both think the idea of recounting hot encounters to each other would be a turn-on. But if there is one thing we've learned from reading this board, it's that fantasies and reality are often very, very, different.

 

That is true. But, it doesn't mean that reality is bad. If the reality of swinging was bad for most everyone, this board wouldn't exist. Not trying to preach you into swinging, but it can be and is a wonderful thing for many (even most) couples.

 

Honestly, I don't think the trip has a lot to do with this. If you're ready to experiment with swinging in general, and solo playing in general, then experiment. If you're not ready for it, you're not. Using a trip as a foundation to trying that is a mistake. "We only tried it because we'd be separated for months". Not good. Not good.

 

If you don't know if you're ready for swinging/solo-play, trying it while separated isn't going to go well. If something goes wrong (and it probably will) trying to fix it over the phone will be exceptionally hard. Plus, it will have a very negative impact on your job performance.

 

I would try very hard to find a way to get your wife (and possibly Kari as well) to come over at some point for a while, perhaps half way through if only one trip. Something to break it up.

Share this post


Link to post
Keep it simple, why chance something negative happening.

 

As you state, you guys seem to be looking at it as an "excuse" so no excuses, just don't do it.

 

Everyone can live with 6 to 9 months time off. Let the ladies have their fun with each other and tell you about it on the phone.

 

If making the decision is this hard for the three of you then I would think NOT doing others would be the best solution.

 

Totally agree with this... Just focus on training and fly them out once or twice for the conjugal visit. I travel a lot for business and even though our marriage is open, I very very rarely do anything. Logistically its just tricky and also, there is always the chance that you would have to end up explaining something to co-workers. Sad thing is if "caught" you'd be safest pretending you're "cheating" which totally sucks.

 

Also agree that whatever option you consider, "kiss but no tell" shouldnt be one of them. No reason for you guys to do that.

Share this post


Link to post

I suggest B), and complement your solo adventures with a few visits to stripper clubs. The ladies back home will probably appreciate your verbal trip reports while you have phone sex, and your wife will feel secure about it. (Caveat: most women do not feel threatened by visits to strip clubs; I'm assuming your wife falls in this category.) My wife and I had this kind of arrangement before we started swinging, and also afterwards while we lived in different countries and swinging was put on hold for the duration (almost 11 months).

 

A stressful, new situation such as yours is not the best way to experiment with new lifestyle rules. Just stick with what you already have defined, and think about exploring new solo activity boundaries when you come back.

 

And do be on the lookout for cheap plane tickets. Every once in a blue moon you see round trip fares to London as low as $300.

Share this post


Link to post

I go with Lee. Why introduce more drama into a potentially stressful situation.

I would also make sure to get your wife over there for a week or more.

Europe is wonderful and exciting, filled with history and beauty.

Have fun!

Share this post


Link to post

Tadahiko,

 

I'm one of our outspoken military members in here, and as such, especially with the way things are going worldwise, as you can imagine, my wife and I have gone through this type of seperation quite often, for periods as long as 15 months.

 

You have to base your situation off of what is right between you and your wife. While Kat and I have an understanding about these things, and are comfortable with whatever happens (as long as the other is told about it), the truth is that is not for everyone.

 

Your rules don't allow you to play seperately, so why change things? Yeah it sucks, 6-9 months gone without something or someone there to spend time with, but that's part of being married.

 

Truth is, the odds are that you would end up hooking up with someone you work with or are going to the class with, and do you really want to go that direction? That's a recipe for disaster to begin with, as those things have a habit of getting around everywhere when they happen.

 

Phone calls, webcams, splash shields are all great ideas, and help you get through those times. Although I'd add some kind of personal lubricant to the mix as well.

Share this post


Link to post

My understanding is that the trip to England is likely to be a turning point in your life. Do well in the training and you're likely headed toward upper management. Do poorly, or get caught embarrassing the company, and you're apt to be sweeping the floors in the warehouse or looking for another job... which may be sweeping floors.

 

I'd suggest you concentrate on being first in your class at the training. That means hours alone in your hotel room studying material for the third time that you fully understood the second time you studied it.

 

If your company is like others I've known, someone will be paying attention to what you do outside the classroom. Don't party and don't drink to excess. While a weekend away at Stonehenge or on the continent would be fine, make sure you're back in the classroom bright eyed and mentally sharp on Monday morning.

 

Concentrate on the job at hand; remember the two lovely women you love, and that you're doing this for them as much as yourself.

 

Good luck... and congratulations for having earned this opportunity!

 

Mr. Alura

Share this post


Link to post

If your company is like others I've known, someone will be paying attention to what you do outside the classroom. Don't party and don't drink to excess. While a weekend away at Stonehenge or on the continent would be fine, make sure you're back in the classroom bright eyed and mentally sharp on Monday morning.

 

Huge +1 to this. I work for a very large US corporation (household name), and I know for a fact that we do this. There are endless corporate events too, with free alcohol and hotel rooms, but there are always folks watching.

 

Is it fair? Not really, but it's the way it works. It's a kind of sorting mechanism for corporations because in this day and age, with 24 hr access to everything, your social life can, unfortunately, directly impact your corporate life.

 

Same reason I encourage friends to be extremely cautious with their Facebook/MySpace/Twitter pages if there is a way to link them to your actual identity.

Share this post


Link to post

I think your complicating it.

 

For example, what do you think military families do when one of the spouses has to go to Iraq, Afganistan, or sail out to sea or go underwater in a sub for a 6 or 9 month deployment?

 

They get along....they make it work. It's been happening for decades if not centuries.

 

As one poster pointed out. Your best to stay on top of your game while within the eyes of your peers. Stay out of trouble or compromising situations.

 

You need to select option (B).

Share this post


Link to post
Keep it simple, why chance something negative happening.

 

If making the decision is this hard for the three of you then I would think NOT doing others would be the best solution.

 

I have to agree with this.

 

I work away from home a lot, and by "away" I mean foreign countries, for extended periods. To get my jollies I read stories, hook-up for some fantasy in the chat room, look at pics and grab a handful knowing that I will be safe and at the same time, maintain my own personal integrity.

 

In our situation, we are both free to do what we want but guess what, we never take advantage and have never strayed to pastures seemingly greener.

 

As Vegas said, 6 months is a short spell and the abstention will add a new height to your relationship back home when you return. Oh yes, believe me, your mutual lover will also appreciate your considerate behaviour. She may not be your wife but she is also a partner and to be respected as such.

 

I hope this helps!

 

Z

Share this post


Link to post

Thanks for your great -- and very consistent! -- replies. You've really helped us discuss this intelligently and we agree with your conclusions. We're going to keep to our current rules, they've served us well for many years.

 

Reading this reminded us of a couple we hadn't thought about in a long time. As I said, we do play with others, but not often, and never with total strangers. Years ago, before we bought our house, a female Naval officer lived in our apartment building for about 6 months. We never met her husband; he was also in the navy and deployed at sea the whole time. When she found out we were poly and were open to playing around some, she asked if she could join in a foursome.

 

We were very interested (she was HOT!) but concerned about her marriage relationship...we DON'T help people cheat! Anyway, her response was, "Oh, please! We knew from the start that monogamy was just never going to work for us. We're apart too much of the time; one of us is always at sea or off on assignment somewhere. Our marriage is more like tag-team parenting with a recurring, intermittent honeymoon."

 

We eventually did play with her a number of times (and yes, she was as hot in bed as she looked). We (I guess I should say "I") ended up with a really glorified, almost envious image of their marriage. However, we kept in touch after they were transferred and learned they divorced a couple years later. Not saying that sex was the cause, but I am guessing the open marriage thing didn't "work for them" either.

 

We've got something that really does "work for us." We've decided to keep it that way.

 

Thanks for the great food for thought.

Share this post


Link to post

There's an old saying, "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush". Right now, you're the lucky owner of a "bird" in each hand, why risk losing both "birds" to chase after another one? Invest in some Jergen's and some "serviettes", and bide your time until your training is finished.

Share this post


Link to post

Just to put to rest an old thread, I am back from Europe, and to answer the big question, NO!, I didn't cheat while I was over there.

 

Celibacy was not as hard as I thought it would be, mostly because I was kept very busy and spent my time around a bunch of geeky guys!

 

Being away from the girls was worse because my internet access was provided by my employer and I had to keep that squeaky clean. Thank god for long distance phone calls, a vivid imagination and a healthy right wrist. I did fantasize about a lot of the women I saw over there, but that's allowed, right?

 

The only time I was *REALLY* tempted/distracted was at Lindos beach in Rhodes, Greece. A Greek classmate of mine brought me home with him on a 4-day break about three weeks after I got there. Several of the women were topless, including my friend's wife. He said (out loud!) that I seemed to be staring at her chest a lot. (I was!) His wife laughed it off and said that I was American, and that should be expected from me. He later asked me which girl I liked best, and didn't I think his wife's body was especially nice? (While grabbing her breasts!) I could never tell if they were trying to flirt or open the door to a more frank discussion of sex, and I clearly knew better than to try to find out. But if he had come right out and said, "Would you like to fuck her when we get home?" I don't know what I would have done. I think my brain would have exploded.

 

Fortunately, it never happened...except in my mind a few dozen times afterward!

Share this post


Link to post
My understanding is that the trip to England is likely to be a turning point in your life. Do well in the training and you're likely headed toward upper management. Do poorly, or get caught embarrassing the company, and you're apt to be sweeping the floors in the warehouse or looking for another job... which may be sweeping floors.

 

I'd suggest you concentrate on being first in your class at the training. That means hours alone in your hotel room studying material for the third time that you fully understood the second time you studied it.

 

If your company is like others I've known, someone will be paying attention to what you do outside the classroom. Don't party and don't drink to excess. While a weekend away at Stonehenge or on the continent would be fine, make sure you're back in the classroom bright eyed and mentally sharp on Monday morning.

 

Concentrate on the job at hand; remember the two lovely women you love, and that you're doing this for them as much as yourself.

 

Good luck... and congratulations for having earned this opportunity!

 

Mr. Alura

 

^^ Exactly what he said!!

Share this post


Link to post

All very interesting to me as I might be faced with a very similar situation at the end of this year or early next year. My term could be 18 months however. My wife has summers off so she could come for 3 months at a time at least once. This is something we havent discussed much, but will have to if discussions at work become plans. Thanks for everyone's input on the thread so far and I might have more questions if things progress at work.

Share this post


Link to post

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Similar Content

    • By David Lovell
      Claire and Amy arrived home together on Wednesday evening. Amy said, “Claire got her first hall pass”. Then Claire said, “Amy told me all about her hall passes, I’m super excited.”
       
      We had a few snacks and a drink or two, then Amy took Claire to the bedroom to let her choose a night dress. She chose a sexy negligée, it maybe was a bit big for her however...
       
      Amy said she would be watching a movie on TV, so if Clare and I wanted to go upstairs that’s perfect timing. We went upstairs and laid side-by-side on the bed talking. I asked Claire how old she was when she first made love? She said 15 years ago when she was  17. I told her that I was about 19 and that it was with Amy before we were married.
       
      We discussed how many different partners we had had. Claire said about six or seven for her. She said that she was quite promiscuous, and had sex with every boyfriend.  
       
      I told her about our one experience many years ago when we were camping with friends and how Amy had guided us rewards swinging. Apparently she knew the story about how Amy and Ken had begun having sex with his wife’s blessing.
       
      Claire told me about the parties they went to before moving here. They were soft swapping parties with college friends. Then they would have sex with their partner. When she and Pete moved here in April and Lesley suggested swinging they quickly liked the idea. Claire said she had fun with me in July and our threesome with Melissa was sort of  OK. She now wanted to catch up where we left off.
       
      She put on her negligée. She said look no patch, I take the pill now.   I stripped down to  my T-shirt and shorts.
       
      We began slow foreplay, her nipples were already quite hard as was my cock. "Let’s see how long we can holdout before you fuck me," she said. We played for almost one hour. We did some 69, lots of nipple kissing and body massaging.
       
      After two hours we finally said let’s go for it. Claire’s pussy  was extra moist. My cock slipped in all the way without any effort. "Hold to it there and don’t move while I count to one hundred," said Claire.
       
      At 99 she started making small movements that felt like a sensation of small electric shocks going across the end of my cock. We then changed to Claire riding on top. Perfectly  gauged strokes that hit her where she got the best sensation.
       
      After a while we moved to laying on our sides with me entering her pussy from behind and squeezing her  breasts. This is how we had our first orgasm, with Claire screaming as I filled her with warm cum.
       
      We laid for about half an hour before we had our second orgasm with Claire’s vagina oozing warm cum. Claire said that Amy would want all  the details in the  morning.  She said that she would tell the same story to  Amy and Pete. 

         

       
          

       

       
        
              
       
         
    • By Maturecouple1122
      When my wife and I first started in the lifestyle, we had some hard rules.  One of which was no solo playing.  Six months and three BBC adventures later, she decided that the “no solo” play rule was nonsense and asked, more like begged, to be able to play alone five miles away. She was off for summer break.  Since I was working 30 miles away and she was home alone all day, I relented.
       
      About a week later, I came home from work and she was waiting for me in stilettos and a flowing summer dress sans underwear.  The dress was a halter type with a slit all the way past her thigh.  She also had the tell-tale twinkle in her eye that she usually gets after she climaxes.  Since she usually wears jeans and t-shirts during the day, I knew something was up.  She had a cocktail already made for me and an appetizer tray.  I was impressed.
       
      She led me to the living room sofa and when she sat down, her dress fell open and I could clearly see her bare pussy and one of her nipples.  Now I knew something great was about to happen.  I asked her how her day went and what was the reason for the seduction.  She then said, “I had a great day!”  Then she proceeded to tell me in detail what happened.
       
      Her BBC friend DJ came by on his tri-wheeled motorcycle to take her for a ride.  She was wearing a very short maroon skirt with a yellow sheer top.  She had a g-string but no bra.  She was not expecting a motorcycle ride.  He handed her a helmet and off they went.  Since she was in a short skirt, her pussy rubbed directly on the seat as they cruised.  The g-string enhanced he friction from the motorcycle vibration on the seat.  She nearly came from the ride itself.   After they returned to the house, she invited DJ in for some refreshments.
       
      Refreshments were quickly consumed and she led him to the bedroom where he helped her remove blouse and skirt.   As she dropped her g-string, her pussy stains were quite evident.  
      My wife is usually not very submissive. But for some reason, she enjoys when DJ dominates her and she tries things with him she never lets me or anybody else do.
       
      DJ is a former football player with a very muscular physique.  His cock is rather short for a black man, only about 5.5 inches long.  The girth of his cock however is unbelievable.  When he is flaccid, the circumference of his cock is close to the size of a Red Bull drink can.  When he is erect, he is almost as round as a beer can.  Since he is so wide, he easily hits her g-spot on every thrust which makes her cum in great quantities.  After he finished cumming in her pussy, they took a short rest to recover and replenish fluids.  As they were laying in each other’s arms, he made my wife get into a kneeling position and open her mouth.  He then grabbed her head and started to push his cock into her mouth which was no easy feat given his size. Unbelievable to her, she actually took most of his cock in her mouth and sucked him until he came down her throat.  Something she refuse to let me do.
       
      Next, he made her lay on her stomach with a pillow under her waist.  He then proceeded to flog her ass, thighs, and cunt lips with a leather flog.  She always said she didn’t care for BDSM activities but here she was, laying on her stomach with a cum load in her pussy, one in her belly, getting her genitals flogged by a stranger.  The more he flogged her cunt, the more she squirmed and moaned until she actually orgasmed.   
       
      She then felt cool coconut oil being rubbed on and in her sphincter.  She told me him was too big but he didn’t listen.  He then grabbed her by the hips and pushed his beer can cock into her ass.   After an initial painful gasp, she finally became accustomed to his cock in her ass and actually started fucking him.  When she grants me the rare opportunity to fuck her ass, she begs me to go fast so I cum quickly and finish.  Given DJ had already cum twice, there was no rushing him.  He pounded her ass for at 10 or more minutes until he came the third time.
       
      As she lay exhausted, DJ dressed and kissed her goodbye.  I came home about an hour later.
       
      As she related her experiences that day she noticed I was visibly aroused and decided it was my turn to have fun.  We went into the bedroom and I started to licking her all over.  While the shower she took after DJ left cleaned out her pussy, it didn't quite get all of his cum out of her ass.  I tasted another man’s cum for the first time in my life.  For some reason, she now enjoys an occasional flogging and ass fucking from me.                         
    • By a. synonymy
      Let me first apologize in advance if this (or something similar) has been covered and discussed extensively already. I'm sure my situation is not entirely new or original, but it is for me, so I'm throwing it out there. If you've got any experience or advice you'd like to drop my/our way, by all means, please do so. I also apologize for the length but the reality is that this deal has some history to it that I think is relevant.
       
      My wife (25) and I (27) have been married for five years, we have a son that just turned two. For several years, we've talked in foreplay about having other partners - but it was just talk for a very long time and nothing more. After the baby was born our sexuality dwindled considerably and until last summer, it seemed like it was going to evaporate into nothing. Well, at some point over the summer we both started seriously (and excitedly) considering the idea of swinging and perused some of the sites regarding it. We put a discreet profile out there, met a couple and after careful consideration, we had them over for dinner and whatever might come. To start off the night, we began fooling around with our own wives but no one ever 'made the move' and it ended up being a nervous and awkward event. They courteously left the next day and nothing happened.
       
      We continued to talk to the couple and decided to reschedule another night, but eventually we started getting cold feet about it and just decided to put the site and our vague and fledgling relationship with them behind us. So we did, but with some strange side effects remained lingering. My feelings about her with another guy are in somewhat flux, but for the most part, if it's the right guy/situation, I'm confident I could deal with it - considering seeing her with another man, as for many guys, is a huge turn on. For me, it's even a bigger turn on than getting it off with another woman. But my feelings are sporadic in this regard, so I can't say for certain how I feel. She, on the other hand, doesn't necessarily want to be with another man anymore. What she does want, from both a sexual and emotional angle, is that I explore having a relationship with another woman, but not strictly sexual. She wants me to have a real girlfriend on the side.
       
      Now I trust my wife on this. She's fully aware of this site and my posting here, as she'll no doubt read it upon me showing it to her (she may even participate). That being said, I want it to be known that she's not looking to split up our relationship or cover for something she's doing on the side. She's genuinely enjoyed talking about the idea, as far as I can tell, of me doing sexual things and emotional things (dating, caring for, commitment) with another woman.
       
      For the average married guy, I suppose this is an easy situation - you get to have sex outside of your marriage at your wife's consent, what could be better than that? And trust me, I see the advantages to it. That being said, I have some serious concerns...
       
      My major concern is who the hell would want something like that? How do I approach it with someone? We've done some extensive research on polyamory and swinging, so we're both comfortable with me having another girl who I have a relationship with, but I just don't even know where to begin to look for such a thing. How do you even breach that subject with someone I like without looking like I'm trying to find a clever way to cheat on your wife? I find people are usually on two sides of the bed with regard to having an emotional/sexual relationship outside of the marriage. Either they want to do it behind their spouse's back and are cheating -or- they simply want to experience the openness of sex outside their marriage like the average swinger. I'm somewhere in between the two and I'm not really familiar with how to handle that at all. To complicate things, we're close to my extended family and they are very religious - if something like this were to happen, it would have to be somewhat discrete? Is a relationship like that possible and enjoyable? Would another person ever consider something of that nature?
       
      Anyways, I've written a lot and I don't want to present an 'epic ton' of nonsense here. I've read this site from time to time and I figured it was a good place to find open and honest people to bring something like this up and get some good advice. Let me know how you would go about looking for another partner like this? How you would present the situation (I'm married but my wife wants me to have a girl friend) to someone? How would you maintain a relationship like this? What are the pitfalls? What should I look out for?
       

       
      Feel free to ask me any questions that might fill in the gaps. Thanks in advance for any responses...
    • By eurotrash
      Due to my profession, I am away from home for a month to 4 months at a time. I'd like to just stay with her, but there's no work for a U.S. filmmaker in Paris. She can't travel with me due to health issues, money issues and her citizenship.
       
      My girlfriend and I are very in love with each other. The separation is difficult, but she suffers the most.
       
      Last week, after a heart-wrenching telephone discussion about how lonely she felt, and how hard it was for her to sleep in an empty bed, among other things, I asked her to find herself a lover.
       
      The decision was a tough one. We aren't swingers. However, I don't want to lose her because she is lonely and feels trapped by our relationship, and I want someone to take care of her and her needs, whatever they may be, while I'm away.
       
      I've never been with a girl that swings, but it is a fantasy of mine. In my mind, I accepted the fact that my GF would be with someone else. Instead of being jealous, I liked the idea that my GF would have someone to give her the some of what I can't while I'm away.
       
      She was shocked. Then she accused me of proposing this so I could do the same. I assured her that I had no intention of being with anyone else. I want this to be like a gift of my love to her.
       
      She's bi... In fact, she was thinking she was a lesbian before we met. While I was away a previous time, she'd had a sexual encounter with a female friend of mine. The two of them had gotten very close. They were drunk after a party and voila!
       
      However, now she was against the idea. She wanted me, not someone else.
       
      Since then, she's had our friend sleep over several times. Nothing's happened, but I know they kiss each other a lot. I feel so relieved that my GF is not alone in bed.
       
      Then, she proposed that I find her someone. She didn't want to find her lover. So, I asked asked another girl I know, and guess what? She didn't even blink!
       
      Of course, my GF was shocked again! She didn't think I would seriously do something like that! LOL! So far, nothing has happened. They've started writing emails to each other.
       
      Now, the idea of my GF with other people totally turns me on, and I feel good inside knowing that she's not alone during those cold Parisian nights.
       
      She's worried about where this will lead, and even thinks that maybe I'm just trying to get rid of her... to pass her off to someone else. (I can assure you that's not the case. I wouldn't propose this if I didn't trust and love her completely. I just want her to be happy until I can be there with her.)
       
      Am I going about this the right way?
    • By mfmswing
      I am a married white female who has been dating a black man for four months now. Our relationship is purely sexual and my husband knows about the whole thing and thinks of it as a turn on. My boyfriend joins my husband and I for a threesome once or twice per month, but for the most part I spend time with him alone. My husband loves for me to bring him home the evidence and listen to my account of what happened when I was out. I was just wondering if there are any other couples out there who have similar arrangements within their relationships. If there are, I would love to talk about our fun.
×
×
  • Create New...