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johnnyrotten35

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About johnnyrotten35

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  1. First: This board is AWESOME! These are all wonderful and MUCH appreciated responses! Second: Intuition -- wow, wow, WOW! Very well put. Amazingly, Mrs. Rotten and I had almost *exactly* this conversation this morning, even before reading your reply. See, I'm the analytical one. I need to work through every possible situation, reach as many logical conclusions as I can and evaluate the results. Yeah, I know...I must be the life of the party! :rollseyes: Actually, I'm not at all risk-averse, I just believe that knowing the possible outcomes before you go into something better prepares you for the process and enables you to more fully enjoy (or avoid) certain situations. I think what's freaking me out so much right now is exactly what you said...that swinging is inherantly a very serious, very exciting question that demands an answer. I'm not all that concerned about what the answer will be -- I am supremely confident in our relationship and our place with each other. Rather, I am concerned about the stakes; they're so high! That being the case, why would you, I, or anyone risk it? Of course the answer is exactly what you said -- the rewards can be so much greater than the risks. That's something I used to know when we were just fantasizing, but I seem to have forgotten since Mr. Bigdick burst on the scene! (no pun intended) In all seriousness, it's not so much the bigger dick thing (although I'm not going to lie and say that it doesn't bother me a little), it's the threat that his bigger dick possibly represents. Ironically, that's also what excites the hell out of both of us! Therein lies the paradox. That said, I have talked to her at length about this, and she assures me that I am the coolest, most understanding, most amazing husband in the world for even entertaining the possibility. Present company excluded, of course! She appreciates this whole thing as a gift, something we can give to each other and both enjoy before putting it (him) away for another time. And I *do* want to give her that gift... By taking it, she will return it to me tenfold. I know that. I guess part of my own personal process is asking people who actually know -- people who are already on the other side of this deep ocean -- what they think and how they felt when they were in my shoes. And it really, really helps. Thanks. Did I mention how awesome this board is? Okay, so I guess it's time to jump in and start swimming. CANNONBALL!!!
  2. Hi All, My wife and I have been reading these message boards for a while -- what a great resource!!! -- but this is my first message. We've been seriously considering swinging for a while now, specifically adding a second guy to the mix. Our friends would be STUNNED, but this turns both of us on immensely, and we’ve been discussing it with varying degrees of seriousness for years. In the past it was me pushing, but recently she has warmed up to the idea (if you consider the surface of the sun “warm”)! We’ve met a nice, grounded and seemingly safe guy, and this wild fantasy is quickly becoming a wild reality. Except for one thing, that is...me! The same guy who has been pushing this for years is now stuck in neutral, filled with insecurity and doubt about the whole thing. The paradox is this: the same things that make this guy an ideal candidate – good looks, good personality, very considerate and VERY well hung – are what are making me nervous and reluctant. Let me explain... I’m a decent-looking, very considerate lover with a decidedly average six inches, but I pride myself on being a confident guy who knows what he’s good at and how to use what he’s got. I'm pretty sure that in our 13 years together, my wife has been very satisfied with our sex life, as have I. That said, I’m finding myself in the unfamiliar territory of being damn intimidated by the thought of having sex with my wife at the same time as this handsome, hung guy. We both know and understand this for what it is – very thrilling and very sexy and VERY tertiary to our core relationship – but the ideal fantasy involving my better half as the simultaneously wonderful mother, hot wife and sexy slut seems to be slipping away as I’m confronted with the reality of the situation. We have been communicating with each other wonderfully, and our sex has been hotter and better than ever before...even before having kids! She has reassured me over and over that there is no one else that she'd rather be with -- fat 8" cock or not -- and I believe that *she* believes that...but how could she know at this point? I’m not saying the idea isn’t totally hot for me -- it is! I would MUCH rather see my beautiful wife enjoying herself with a handsome, respectful and well-endowed man than some...um...“lesser” guy. Of course, she’ll enjoy it much more that way, and that’s ultimately what it’s all about. I’m not afraid that he will “steal” her or anything, but I do worry that we’ll be opening a Pandora’s box where she’ll be less than satisfied with me in the future. Ultimately I know that this is about my own petty male insecurities, but that isn’t making it any easier to move forward. And I really, really want to move forward. I guess what I’m looking for is some counsel. I know there are no guarantees about any of this, but I’d love to hear from guys who felt similarly “before” and to know how you handled the “after”. Was it good? Bad? Indifferent? Was it as big a deal as you thought? I’d also love to hear the woman’s perspective. What have your reactions been to other, “bigger” guys? Anyway, thanks for reading, and especially to those of you who take the time to respond!
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