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jon0468

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  • Content Count

    38
  • Joined

Community Reputation

16 Good

About jon0468

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 02/01/1968

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    M. Male
  • Location
    Ft. Worth
  • Interests
    wine, world of warcraft, toys of all kinds
  • Swinging Experience
    new to it
  1. Happy Birthday

  2. After reading this post of mine, I thought I may have been coming across as snooty or arrogant. I just wanted to apologize to Spoo and anyone else that may have taken it in the way it reads. I was not suggesting that since people are on this forum that they would have read my posts in Poly, I just wanted to comment that they were there and give a little background. Again, apologies to anyone that thought I was being snotty! Thanks!
  3. Wow, I see your point. I could not interact with someone either that was involved with me/us and then made a comment to suggest that when they reached that stage, it would not be alright. I don't believe in double standards, I suppose it's one thing to change your opinion or viewpoint down the road, but to already have that opinion and engage in that activity anyway, that's not right. I suppose now that I look back at it, I knew our poly relationship would not work out. The oso did not have the consideration that I did. I did not stand in the way of my wife doing what she did, she had the consideration to talk to me about it up front, and she and I were on the same page. And even though the oso said he was ok with it all, in the end I found he was jealous of me, and he was the one that was always imposing rules and restrictions. My wife went along with him out of consideration to him as someone she cared for, and accommodated me as well, out of consideration for me, as someone she cared for too. I just cared and loved her enough that I went along with what she wanted to do. At this point, if anyone has any advice for me on how to introduce myself into this lifestyle, please send me messages or post here. I guess I should just go to socials, and just be myself. I will eventually meet someone(single or couple) that can appreciate me and get along with me. Thanks again!
  4. Not harsh at all. I understand where it is you are coming from. In the triad relationship that I was in, I was very accommodating and understanding. My wife wanted a relationship with me and this other guy, I was fine with that, I was even fine when he put restrictions on the whole thing. Such as he wanted to be the first sex partner at night, etc. I am very open and liberal. Actually, I like the feeling of a woman that has already been with another man. I, personally, take into consideration what my partner(s) want out of it too. Also, I am not just looking for a piece of ass. I have been looking for, and have been having a hard time finding, a couple that has a bi male, because I am all for everyone getting to play together. I understand that most of the guys that are taken as "not nice" probably don't realize they are being that way. I can only speak for myself. I am not looking for free sex whenever I want it. I am looking for couples, that either want a male for the woman, or a male for the couple. And I am looking for people that I can hang out with outside the bedroom too. There is more to a relationship than sex, and let's face it, any interaction is a relationship. The reason I began looking and discussing within the lifestyle community, is that it seems that those people already in it, are open minded, accepting, friendly, etc. And it's not dating that I am trying to avoid, I guess I don't know how to express myself exactly. I would love to find, date and get involved with a woman that wants to do swap, clubs, parties etc. It's just a new scene to me, and I'm on shaky ground. I have thinking lately that I should try some of the single male nights at some of my local clubs. As always, any input, advice etc is more than welcome. Response is better than crickets, lol. I appreciate that you care enough and are passionate about your lifestyle that you are not afraid to get in my face. look forward to more discussion.
  5. Actually, I have been sharing my wife. If you look in the poly forums, I have told some of my story. My wife just decided that she isn't in love with me, probably was not in love with her oso, and just needs to be on her own and not in any kind of serious relationship at this time. I would love to meet someone that is already in the lifestyle, and looking for a partner. I have always been interested in group, swap etc. but out of respect for my wife, did not pursue it, as she was not into it. I have been looking at some of the local scene that offers single male nights, and will probably start there, but still don't discount the internet. Thanks for the input! John
  6. I kind of need help on this subject too. I feel I am "the elusive guy" lol. My situation is that I am separated and headed into a divorce, and I would still like to keep up an active, fun, healthy sex life, without the hassles of dating and worrying about trust issues, health issues, etc. Don't get me wrong, I plan on dating, but I would like to have someone to play with that is just that: play. I like to think I'm a nice guy, and it seems that I would be perfect for this kind of relationship: I have only been with my wife for 18 years so I am clean, I'm considerate, not sleazy, not pushy, mature, etc. Unfortunately, single guys tend to get the bad wrap. How do I find couples or women that just want play in a safe, friendly, fun relationship? Thanks for the input! John
  7. Sounds much the way my life went. About 12 years ago, my wife had a similar experience where she thought she wanted a friend of ours. Lasted about a month maybe less, before she said "what was I thinking?" I had also told her to go on and try him, I will be here for you regardless. But that's what she means to me. This time around, she really has genuine feelings for our triad partner and their relationship has gone thru rocky stuff and has lasted a little over a year. She and I are still together, she and he are still together. Love is a funny thing. Some people may think I am stupid for allowing her to do the things she needs to do, but I quote(and bonus points to anyone that can tell me where it comes from).......... "I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it."
  8. A few good points to add: I know there are some things my wife CAN'T do with me that she can do with others. Not to brag, but I am a little too big for her to be on top most of the time, unless she is very relaxed. Also, anal is usually not something she can handle unless she is very relaxed. Now, her boyfriend is just a little smaller than I am, so she is frequently on top of him. I cut her some slack, lol. Perhaps your wife just needs time to sort out why etc in her mind before she talks to you about it. Keep a calm open mind, and just communicate. Hope this helps J
  9. I haven't read all the replies, but I read a lot. This is a new section to me, I read the poly forums mostly. You're situation sounds kind of like mine. My wife met a guy, well actually before she met him, she had feelings for him, just from talking to him. She struggled and fought and tortured herself over what's "right and wrong". She thougth she wanted a divorce, she didn't know what to feel about him, she struggled with A LOT of stuff. In the end, she decided she was in love with both of us. We're a triad at this point, a little over a year later, and not a few fights and struggles in between. Difference with us, it didn't start as swinging, we tried one 3 some down the line, but he's not with that, and like someone said back in here, the pace of the slowest member. She needs to do some real soul searching, as do you, it could be a passing fad, or she may really want him like she has you. I stayed open and flexible, my wife means too much to me to just blow her off and be done with it over some jealousy, especially if she still wants me. I learned to accept that she is in love with two guys, and we are both willing to be with her together. We like it, but it's not for everyone. TTFN
  10. We've been worried about this topic too. My wife works in a cosmetology school, and one of the owners is a pastor or something like that. Well, both of us guys see her for dinner breaks, either one or the other or sometimes both of us. Some of the girls there have asked who he was, commented on how hot he is, etc. This makes my wife uncomfortable, as she would like to say things to the effect of "you have no idea" lol. She has described him as her best friend, but you can tell by the way she acts with him, by the way she looks at him that there is more to it. So much so, that one day, some of the students approached her after we left, and said they heard a rumor that she was having a secret affair with him. She just told the truth, to the students anyways, said it was not a secret, that I knew, and then asked them to please be discreet about it. So far, nothing has changed. I was a bit uncomfortable the next time I went up there, knowing that we were out to some of them. After I left one of the students even asked her if I saw any other people, and then volunteered to "hook me up" with friends, but then changed her mind and volunteered herself, lol. So far, I have not gone out with her, but I can't say that I wouldn't. I was a bit surprised to find they were accepting of our relationship, and even willing to be involved, lol. But that's the students, guess we will have to see if the staff ever finds out. One day, I told my wife just to tell them she is just like Demi Moore, only that she gets to have her Bruce Willis and her Ashton Kutcher all at once. lol. Fits, since he is so much younger, and I sport that shaved head Bruce look. lol. She thought it was funny too.
  11. It really chaps my hide that it's not "legal". I know my wife would love to marry her significant other, it would make her shine like the sun to be married to us both. I think that if it works for you to just be committed to each other, then have a ceremony that reflects this, like a marriage, exchange rings or whatever and then consider yourselves married. That way you can tell people you are married. How is it ok for Mormons to engage in polygamy? How do they get around the "legalities" of marrying more than one? Thanks for the read! Jon
  12. Well, ours is a long and involved story. Been married almost 18 years, and it's been great, and it's had its downs. Nothing is perfect. Over the years, we had used swing talk during sex to spice it up, I am very sexually driven, although my wife not as much. We got involved in an online game playing with people all over the world. We were using a voip program called ventrilo to talk to these people and my wife heard a voice that just struck a chord in her. She found out by accident one day that he lived in our area, and started talking to him on the phone. She fell head over heels for him just talking to him. This whole time, she and I were going through a rough time in our marriage. On top of that, he needed a place to live and we opened our home to him. I would catch her touching his face and things like that and would ask her about her feelings for him, what was going on, etc. A lot of things about our marriage came out too. We even separated for a time. During all of that she developed her relationship with him, but avoided any sexual stuff. As we were working things out, we were chatting and flirting over yahoo one night, I got her so worked up on it, she slept with him for the first time that night. Early the next morning, and I mean early, she called me to see if I was up and invited me over. I came by, she confided in me what she had done and we had some intense sex ourselves as she related what happened. It has been a long and rough road, as I overcame my jealousies, and she struggled with being in love with us both. It's only been a little more than a year since we all met, and almost a year since she and he first made love. The relationship has really blossomed as we have all realized we can all be in love at the same time. She came to the realization that she wants us both, is not willing to let either of us get away. And I realized I love her too much to not be with her because she is in love with him too. He is fine with it because I am, and he is very much in love with her too, or so I feel he is. We are all learning and growing. Now, as far as swinging goes, I would love to, but he is not comfortable even with us being all together, and she will not outside of the two of us. I respect both of their decisions, I feel one day we will all grow enough that we can be a threesome in bed, and I can wait. My wife has also told me she doesn't mind if I play outside as long as I am safe. I have actually thought about meeting other women to "date" on a regular basis, but I fear being married will turn off women who are not into Poly. There is one girl where she works, and she figured it out, and she has expressed an interest in me, could be a good starting point, since she knows my lifestyle and can't be scared off by it. It's not like my wife or any of us were looking for a poly relationship, it just happened. And I could be quite content living out my sexual life with just the two of them. So what I mean to say is, if the chance to play outside happens, then it does, but I don't need it to be happy with my family. And he is part of our family now.
  13. Just wanted to intro myself and say hi, I am the married M portion of a triad, my wife has another significant other who lives with us. I am very enthusiastic about the forum, because this is our first time with an experience like this, and have all kinds of questions. I look forward to benefiting from everyone here and sharing what I can to help others.
  14. When I joined this site, it was because we were considering swinging. My profile or intro had mentioned my wife had found a male partner. Well, as we have evolved, we have found that what my wife is, is in love with this guy, I do know him btw, and she wants us both, as partners. I'm open, I'm dealing, we are both on new and shaky ground.
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