We had so many rules it would be to endless to list them. But like many others stated our rules evolved with our comfort level. We had a few rules the first time we went to the club. First we were voyeurs , then the next time same room sex the next time a little oral play, then a little more than full swap and so on. But the rules changed as our confidence was secured this type of activity did not threaten our marriage. It fortified it. The longer we are in the lifestyle we realize the chance of infidelity is less and less.