Jump to content

Swirl

Registered
  • Content Count

    26
  • Joined

Community Reputation

27 Excellent

About Swirl

  • Rank
    Contributor

Personal Info

  • Location
    California

Recent Profile Visitors

The recent visitors block is disabled and is not being shown to other users.

  1. It does seem daunting with a side order of creepiness precisely because of the aforementioned overabundance of horny dudes willing to pay for it. Is it really worth it? Fair question. It would appear that, in at least some ways, my vision of what 'it' is may be askew.
  2. ROFL You were doing so well... Not taking that bait, but thx for playing.
  3. Cplnuswing, thank you for your considered and expansive response. Yes, exactly what I do understand (I began my post with it, but also understand you were speaking generally, and further, to how hard this ignorance has made it for all single guys). The mere thought of being the wandering jerkoff™... If I ever get that log dumb desperate, I'm joining the priesthood. Damn, can't even say that anymore without double meanings. ARE there men who AREN'T desperate creeps? Digression over. I've been accused of being too honest for my own good, but I'll cop to the desperation of men for sex. Frankly, on the whole, we're better for it, in my view. Mine simply does not manifest in the wandering jerkoff™. Never has, never will. I do not and cannot view this lifestyle through that type lens. If it's only to get laid, and not to share, learn and laugh, I'd rather not do it. That don't make me special I know. Just sayin. Again, your counsel and suggestions are very much appreciated and will inform what I do.
  4. Ok, I'm not a swinger, being in the process of divorce, and entering this life as a single male, I'm on a massive team of visitors. Swingers are mainly couples, single women mainly welcome, single men mainly not so much; I get it, and accept it. Still, some definitions elude me. Por exemplo, 'swinger events', or 'swinger parties'. My recent intro into the LS was one of these, and whereas I thought it might be a low stress way to get my feet wet (in fact, they talked me into coming on just that premiss), I must confess to feeling disillusioned, exploited, and confused by why this wasn't simply very poor (but not for the 'hosts') prostitution. 14 men @ $60 each, silently milling around, studiously avoiding eye contact awaiting their turn at the single woman in attendance (the host's wife) is the LS? Bad actors in the LS you may say, but these people had dozens of comments on a very popular board, which was a leading factor in compelling me to 'attend' - I swear some of these terms smack of euphemisms coloring up some drab crap. Not only that, there were regulars there who did see this as the LS. The entire setup, once taken all in, dallied just enough in the trappings of, what I gathered the LS to actually be, in order to advance the profit from single men, complete with well rehearsed spiels through the evening starting immediately with, "3 couples on the way and, amazingly we found two unicorns too", "on the phone with one of the couples who can't make it", "unicorns chickened out", "it's like this sometime, sorry, next time k?". Look, I am hardly indicting the LS with this post, NOT. AT. ALL. In fact, my hope is twofold: to warn other newbies (SINGLE MEN), and to get talked back off the ledge myself. I've learned up front and clearly that there is much room for abuse in the LS (the many positive comments about them was certainly disappointing). I will never attend a "donation" "event" again (btw, if any wonder, I passed up my turn with the ho, oop!, hostess). Tell me. What is the Lifestyle really?
  5. Good for you. There is clearly plenty to work through (so much went wrong), but working through it, sometimes slow, sometimes quick, will pay off. I was curious whether he was shutting down on the topic because of fear or shame or some such. You can work with that, that part at least. The other parts, specifically those you don't understand or can't reconcile, will probably take longer. It is entirely possible that even he doesn't fully understand all his motivations. I routinely have to dig pretty deep to have any hope of understanding mine. Mostly I discover that on my best days I am tragically human. I could suggest that you also spend plenty time owning any mistakes that you are certain you made (not calling yourself stupid), forgiving yourself for them (human as you are) and learning from them. You will better for it, no matter what. Chin up
  6. I don't know if this has been addressed already, but the suggestion that you see a counselor alone first, and then your husband would have to eventually see the same counselor, is extraordinarily misguided. Disregard it. Telling your story here is brave and good for you. You did share this to learn what we thought, yes? Despite a negative or unwelcoming vibe you will occasionally get here, and anywhere really, your choice to come here is wise as you are among friends with something in common. Folk here have much accumulated experience with these types of issues, and will offer ideas and suggestions hopefully based on those experiences. But realize the only thing of value any of us have to share is our own experiences - perhaps the tiniest pinch of wisdom, and generous helpings of encouragement, if we're kind. People who share theories and opinions really need to be professionals in the fields they speak about. Otherwise, grains of salt and all that. Never forget that a huge portion of life is all about learning, even when the lessons are very difficult. Schools in. It can feel like the end of the world, but surely it isn't. The Earth has a funny way of ignoring my troubles and turning anyway, dammit. Try to take it easy, give it some space, give it even more time (never mind your 7 months); learn here and everywhere you can, and live on. And for goodness sake stop calling yourself stoopid Hang in there.
  7. My first anal with a man was at 18 in an adult book store before HIV. I was invited into a booth with a guy who was holding the biggest cock I've ever seen, even till this day. I was literally afraid of it, sucking it or anything else. So, when he asked what I was wanting I just sort of mumbled, "to fuck". To my amazement, he said, "cool". He seemed pretty macho, not the least bit femmy, and, of course, I didn't know a thing about sexuality at the time. Well, he sat on the bench, flipped up his legs, spread, and I headed into an already lubed new world. It was wonderful, like a vulva but different still. And get this: for leverage I grabbed the obvious two handed hand hold before me, and went to town. I couldn't get my fingers around it - there was a half inch room to spare, massive! For any who have heard of or seen monster cocks that can't stay hard, this weren't one of them. All these years later, I can still feel it hard like steel, truly amazing. And don't you know, knowing what I know now, I regret doing nothing but holding it. Today, fear and all, I'd take that challenge, even if I walked a tad funny a day or two. A grand memory, truly.
  8. I'm a bottom but versatile with men. Love oral, particularly messy, deep-throat face fucking (I'm very good at it, as anyone can be with desire and practice). Anal takes more work, but I love it as well. I'm dom with women, but sub with men. Many men aren't submissive (which is great - more tops for me). A high item on my bucket list is getting it deep, fast and hard from both ends. Yummmeee !!!
  9. Count me in. I fantasize about a bukkake someday (doubtful it'll happen). You guys in this forum are beyond cool.
  10. Yes, it is great that the walls are coming down. Repression is a drag. Clearly swingers are free spirits, and I think they're wonderful. Is there a better place to try things and see what you like? It's just sex, it feels great and it's fun. I've done and absolutely love all on the list.
×
×
  • Create New...