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Thrax

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Thrax last won the day on October 20 2008

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About Thrax

  • Rank
    Lifestyle Mentor
  • Birthday 08/08/1956

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Single Male
  • Location
    USA
  • Occupation
    Had one once. Didn't like it.

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  1. As a single male -- both then and now -- upon my first attempts at consorting with swingers back in 2000 I was a little worried about the endowment thing, too. I'd still like my groinal area to be a little more filled-out; really, most guys would. However, after almost a decade of life on the edge of the lifestyle, I learned that size doesn't matter too much...as long as the minimum size is close to "average." (Btw, my erection is just under 6 inches and my girth is average. Flaccid? It's a sad, tiny little thing...) I've gone to clubs, house parties, camping parties, and similar venues and no one has ever pulled out a ruler to ascertain my boner length. In fact, on several occasions I've been naked and in an unaroused state before being asked to play. And I am definitely a grow-er, not a show-er, so I guess my partners decided that things would eventually work out. As I've mentioned before on the SB, I've been in play situations with several couples where the guy was much more endowed than me. Sometimes the difference was by two or more inches in length and some amazing girths. Some of those encounters were one-offs, so to speak, (but I got the impression that everyone was happy with the results), and some were multiple encounters, so I must have been doing something right. So, it's not ALL about the dick size. The erection of a husband in one couple I played with was about one, maybe two inches longer than mine. l didn't know that until we were all naked and playing. That explained the question from his wife (after multiple emails and after, I guess, she and I both decided we were compatible) asking me, "You don't have a really big dick, do you?" I told her my approximate measurements and she was happy with the response. It turned out that her husband is very skilled at using his length, but she had encountered guys -- and otherwise had worries about potential swing partners -- who did not know that a big cock can injure a woman. Turns out because I'm of average length we can vigorously slap against each other while boinking. She loves her hubby but it's something they can't do because of his length. Also, she can deepthroat me, but if she tried something similar with her husband, she'd hyperextend her jaw. So, I'm occasionally a part of their sex-life because I'm different...and in this case, not as big as he is. So, there are some advantages to being "average", and a lot of couples who want single males in their sexual encounters are okay with that. There are some couples and single females on Swing Lifestyle, at clubs, and available through other venues, that are looking for the big cock. I see that requirement listed specifically on national or club sites and I just don't respond to those ads or profiles. Why bother? It's what they're looking for and I can't provide. However, although it is a big part of the lifestyle, it doesn't seem to be the "majority" interest from my experience. From what I've seen most women in the lifestyle are more concerned about satisfaction from the hardened penes they encounter rather than trying to find the biggest of the lot. I guess it's all about marketing. I try to present myself appropriately on Swing Lifestyle and other local and national swing sites, and when I go to a Meet'n'Greet or club, I'm conscious of my personality and appearance. Just like a regular date. Dress nice, try to engage everyone in pleasant conversation, be polite and respectful, be well-groomed (clipped nails, nice haircut, trimmed nose- and ear-hairs, clean hair, etc.) It's all about attraction. Make yourself attractive. I'm happy with the number and variety of lifestyle encounters I've had. An encounter or so every month or two has slaked my lifestyle thirst at this point. I suggest that you decide what you want from the lifestyle and then address that and figure out how you want to approach couples and singles. Finally, I have to acknowledge LikeMinds thoughtful post. If you are bi then some things are definitely different for you. And it's not just the whole bi-guy playing with an accepting or a reluctant couple thing. If you are bi and you want to make the most of your experience with a couple that is interested in bi guys, then you have to make a favorable impression on both of your potential partners. Obviously. That's a different bag of whatever. It's different from the interactions that I as a straight male hope to have with a couple in which the male is also straight. In an MFM threesome, are the expectations of a bi-hubby different from those of a of a husband that is straight? I haven't experienced that, haven't asked, and don't know. This might be fodder for another thread -- or might have already been addressed on the SB -- since a bi-male in a male/female couple might have different expectations than a straight male in a couple that swings with single males. To each his own. Anyway, my advice is to not worry about the size of your equipment. Instead I think you should dress appropriately for any encounter, use good hygiene, be personable and respectful to everybody (potential playmates or not), practice "no means no", and if things don't look like they won't work out -- for whatever reason -- politely retreat, regroup, summarize what you've learned, and try again. Rinse and repeat. Good luck with your search! Thrax
  2. Speaking of nerds... Swing Lifestyle lists profiles of new locals and a recent profile caught my attention. A newbie 20-something couple recently started a profile. They're not on my "to-do" list, but I think I might just have to meet them to congratulate them on their profile. Some samples: "We are looking to meet other couples who are nerds. If you do not have a favorite dinosaur, don't bother writing to us." "We are nerds. You may have picked up on that already. But nerds need sex too." "Both of us are sarcastic and cynical. Since we are a pair of over educated nerds, we enjoy things like complaining about Descartes, listening to They Might Be Giants, or reading the Thomas Covenant novels by Stephen R. Donaldson." Those selections might be off-putting to some, but the whole profile is written in a very humorous and self-deprecating vein. I'd like to compliment them on their dinosaur-themed profile name, too. Too bad I can't post it here. It's nice to see people on Swing Lifestyle have a sense of humor. I wish 'em the best of luck! Thrax
  3. Should that be "screwing well" instead of "screwing good?" Any English majors out there? Yeah, I'm a nerd. But you knew that. Thrax
  4. You don't need it to stay alive, you need it to "live."
  5. I've never had to make the decision to have someone else's foreskin removed -- and at this point it's likely I'll never have to face such a decision -- but I appreciate the dilemma confronting parents/guardians who are trying to determine what's best for their sons. I was circumcised shortly after birth. Occasionally, I've wondered what it might feel like to have that extra fold of skin over my glans, but not having it there hasn't caused me any physical problems that I know of. And I've never had a partner complain about my absent foreskin either. In that respect, it hasn't been a really big deal to me. Sure, the foreskin was removed without my permission, but I'm reluctant to call the process "mutilation." Unlike the procedures done today, an anesthetic most likely wasn't used for snipping me, but it's not like I'd have a memory of the pain from that time anyway. And I think my penis looks pretty normal for being circumcised and it seems to operate well without that extra bit o' flesh. Growing up in a town in the Northeast USA, it was evident from observations in gym class and public pool locker rooms that almost all of my peers were circumcised. Frankly, I can't remember seeing any uncircumcised penises until I was in college. Emotionally, in my case, it was probably better that I was circumcised, since I was scrawny and didn't hit puberty until well after just about every guy in my cohort, and I was extremely self-conscious about my body anyway. I was different enough, I didn't need to look THAT different! If I was a teenager nowadays, though, since so many parents have not had their sons circumcised in the past few decades, there would be a number of both circed and uncirced in any particular locker room, I could probably just obsess solely on the fact that my little unit is a grow-er and not a show-er. Circumcision didn't become medically routine in the U.S. until after WWII, when it was reasoned that it should be done for health and cleanliness issues. Other medical "fads" since then, scientifically supportable or not, might include the popularity of tonsillectomies, tubes to prevent ear infections, and the over-diagnosis of ADD/ADHD. All of those health issues/procedures have seen a wave of heavy use but then we have backed off of them somewhat to reassess if what is being applied truly helps. I think we're in the midst of reassessing circumcision (and at least on the cusp of looking into how to more effectively diagnose ADD/ADHD), and I think it is valid to hear from both sides on the issue. However, it's my opinion there's been unneeded hysteria mostly from the anti-circ side (Barbarism! Mutilation! :eek:) when actually they would be better served by reasoned debate. Good luck to all of you folks that have to make that tough decision.
  6. I just saw this paste from ncmd: We are looking for: "LOOKING FOR WOMAN OR COUPLE over55 years old FOR FUN AND SEX FOR LONG TIME.YOU CAN GET ME AT…. Description: LIFE IS TOO SHORT SO I AM LOOKING TO HAVE FUN IN EVERY SEC OF THIS LIFE … I AM SINGLE MAN … KIND,FUNNY AND LOVE PEOPLE …. BRN SKIN AND EYES .. BLK HAIR LOVE TO READ AND TRAVEL … I LOVE OLD MUSIC. Our fantasies and/or real experiences: I LOKE TO MAKE LOVE TO THE WOMAND AND HER MAN WATCH US OR HE CAN CLEAN HER PUSSY AFTER I CUM INSIDE HER ….. I LOVE TO EAT THE WOMAN PUSSY AND IN SAME TIME HER MAN SUCK OR PLAY WITH MY DICK … I NEVER Fuck ANY MAN BEFORE.do, see, hear about and/or learn: SEX IS GOOD ….. LET US HAVE FUN." * * * * * * * * That just makes me feel better...with regard to spelling, grammar, and just about everything else! I hope he gets that CAPS LOCK key fixed.
  7. I think Mike has the best take on this issue in this thread so far, and if you consider how porn is marketed, I think that gives some clues. In general, men are very visually-oriented. For example, from porn's European origins (sculpted pornographic statuettes, mosaics and paintings and other art from Greek and Roman times, for example), to Middle Ages and post-Renaissance porno painting, to early porno photography, and finally to the film medium, as well as the in-person can-can/burlesque/strip-club venue, the overall focus has been on picturing men being sexually-dominant with women (but -- and there's your big but -- occasionally, men). That history tends to reflect men's choices. Then, in the 1980s or 1990s, things became open enough in the Western world for some porn to be focused on what women want. Many women want porn, but some entrepeneurs realized that a lot of women have an emotional stake in sexual encounters, so those porn-producers aimed at that with at least a semi-realistic storyline, if not romance, in their porn to try to capture the female audience with targeted work. Frankly, in general, I think most porn aimed at males is geared to the visceral, the visual. "Female" porn has a lot more emotional content. (I'm hedging my bets by saying "in general" because I know that there is not some universal like/dislike pattern for either males or females. Capisce?) To transfer that to the issue at hand, considering the normal well-balanced (there's another caveat) swinging-couple, I think that the guy who enjoys watching his wife/gf with another guy does so because she is interested in the extracurricular activity (her pleasure), and he really enjoys seeing her pleasuring and being pleasured by another man (the visual thing). Those guys do not love their wives/gfs any less than the general populace, but they appreciate the sexuality of the woman they love. It might be genetic behavior or learned behavior for them, but I think it's tied to the generic male outlook. Okay, that was just my take using what little I learned during my Psych 101 classes. And frankly, I napped through a lot of Psych 101. Just some ideas...what are your thoughts? Thrax
  8. Porn, like vanilla movies and tv shows, is 1) a visual medium, and 2) all about drama and artifice. If a guy in a video cums inside a woman and you don't see it, then really, are you sure he came inside her? And besides the moans and groans of him orgasming, where is the actual proof of his cumming? (Hey, it's porn: "He came in her but I couldn't see the cum, so maybe it was faked...") Probably TMI here, but I prefer cumming in a woman (vagina or mouth) rather than dispensing my load elsewhere...even on her.* However, if I could dependably duplicate Peter North's ejaculations, I'd probably try to impress her (and anyone else nearby) on the first shot with my prowess, at least occasionally. Really, I can't argue that the powerful cumshot is impressive. I wish I could do that, and I assume that many guys wish they could do the same. Of course, that thinking links to the male obsession with penis size, being muscular, a better job, higher pay, etc. (Yeah, guys compare themselves to others in their peer group and to those who excel in sports and other ventures. Who knew? ) Thrax *Except the handjob thang. I love a good handjob leading to climax. Yes, I'll climax and the output is ours to take care of.
  9. If bi-male activity turns you on, then that's great. Enjoy it. But please at least be consistent with regard to the terminology you use in your posts and your profile. In your very first post on the Board you describe yourself as totally straight. Fine. But in SB Additional Information/Biography you state: "we are both bi" Your handle here is biplayfulcouple. Hellll-OOOOooo! There are some things that do not agree here. Frankly, if you are bi, your wife is bi, or both of you are bi...most of the people on this forum DON'T care! Really! The majority of the longtime, dedicated, concerned posters on Swingers Board really don't give a shit about your sexuality, they just try to provide you with the best information to address your concerns about the lifestyle. And if those of us on this forum don't know that much about an ancillary swing-subset, then we give our best guess. That's it. So, please participate here, biplayfulcouple, but I think serious posters would appreciate you being honest with how you describe yourself, or yourselves, as it were. P.S. Sorry about the acidic tone, but I'm unusually tired and cranky today, but still...
  10. Since I'm of average length in the erection department there are some seated positions -- her facing away and depending on the angle of the chair -- that just don't work. But, in that case, we find a different chair, or move to a different position. There is one position though, that could cause me pain if not injury. I don't know if there is a name for it, but think of intercourse in the cowgirl position (guy flat on his back, she's sitting on top facing him). Now, still straddling him, she decides to lay back, resting her back on his legs. For me, when my admittedly average unit is fully erect, having a woman do that is PAINFUL (as I stated in another thread). Any potential boneration below that 90 degree angle from belly to perpendicular gets into dangerous ligament-stretching territory for me. Several couples and years ago I was in the cowgirl position with a new play partner and she unexpectedly said, "Trust me!," and lay back like that. Luckily I had my wits about me and sat up fast. Phew! I figured out later that her hubby's unit, which is comparable to some livestock appendages, definitely gets bigger but does not get nearly as solid as my boner. So his full erection is definitely much bigger than mine, but I might have the upper hand, so to speak, with regard to stiffness. So that was most likely my problem in that case. In pornos, I've seen that guys with a larger-than-average units, or average and not fully-erect penises, apparently comfortably assume that position. However, unless a visit to the ER (and a LOT of embarrassing questions) is your turn-on, then, with me, that position is a no-no. Let's try something else, shall we? Just let me know in advance if you're going to do something suddenly. Please. Thanks.
  11. Here's one: and im a person who pays very to detail FAIL. Thrax
  12. Nope! If I've not previously met a couple (or a single female in the lifestyle) in person, then I go for the neutral site meeting place first. The cyberworld can be great for meeting people, but in my book, evaluations of character and compatibility are done face-to-face. For one thing, I'd think most folks would prefer to meet at a neutral site for safety's sake so everyone is a tad more relaxed, but it also gives all parties an easier out if things don't look like they're going to work. (Sometimes cyber-personas do not match the real person. Luckily, the not-matching thing has not happened to me...yet...) Responsible couples in the lifestyle are concerned with the safety of both the male and female of the twosome, and rightly so. Single males and females playing in this league can only truly rely on themselves, so I think the sane singles exercise a reasonable amount of caution to make sure that there is a high probability that their LS partners are actually NOT psycho killers. If I show up at the door of a couple or a lifestyle SF for an encounter, it's because I know them/her already. As for house parties, I've only been to those where I already know the hosts (through other events or having been "interviewed" face-to-face beforehand) or know some of the other guests.
  13. In a way, sex IS a skill like sport. I don't think that sex between two or more people is perfectly analogous to sport, but there are some commonalities. One thing: practice, Practice, PRACTICE! (Practice, in my experience, doesn't make perfect, but it does help...and practicing sex is one of the few practice events that are enjoyable for everyone involved -- regardless of what's learned or instilled...) Another thing: Watch the tapes. (This boils down to research. It sounds boring, but watching your spouse/SO/friends/etc., watching other couples/threesomes/etc. live, reading books like 101 Sex Positions, The Orgasm Bible, Tickle His Pickle, The Complete Idiot's Guide to Amazing Sex, Art of Oral Sex, etc., and searching the Internet for sex advice can broaden your horizons. By the way, I picked out the book titles with a short search on Amazon.com. And now I want my pickle tickled.) And another thing, do you both want to be sexually satisfied?: Pay attention to what your "opponent" is doing and react accordingly. (Please be assured that I don't think that the male/female encounter is a combat, but I'm thinkin' that reacting to the present sex partner's signals are important. I'm sure I miss a lot of signals in the heat of the moment, but this is a reminder to keep me "in the game.") If something your partner is doing is doing it for you, it really helps if you give encouraging words to your partner(s) to continue ..THE...EXACT...THING...THAT...YOU...ARE...DOING!. If you are the thrustee and keep quiet, then the thruster assumes things are going well. If you are the thrustee and are happy (or even unhappy) with the current...um...proceedings, then telling the thruster could open a window to other possibilities. For example, is grinding preferable to long thrusts, or short thrusts, or is a combination needed here? It boils down to being aware of your capabilities and your sex partner's (or partners') needs, and counting on the honesty and comfort of your sex partners. Okay, that's too much being serious for me. It's WAY past dinner time! Thrax
  14. Whoops! Sorry, MrkLin, I went off on a tangent and didn't warn anybody. I did understand the context of your post, and I actually thought the quote you supplied was humorous, but it got me thinking about an issue and my ranting mode switch flipped to ON. I should have done what Julie did, and started a new thread rather than highjack the other one. My apologies to all!
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