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dragonblade

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dragonblade last won the day on January 25 2008

dragonblade had the most liked content!

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About dragonblade

  • Rank
    Swinger lickin good...
  • Birthday 05/25/1981

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    M. Female
  • Location
    Palm Coast, FL
  • Interests
    chatting, computers, hanging out with friends, gaming, dinner, RPGs, reading, sex.
  • Occupation
    SAHM/Student
  • Swinging Experience
    off and on 5 years

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    Dragonblade81
  • Favorite Club(s)
    haven't tried any yet
  1. Vol, Thanks for the response.. my thoughts about a gf for my hubby are sort of strange because he doesn't have one. At the moment doesn't even have the prospect for one because he's fairly introverted.. so I guess it's theoretical at this point. And you're absolutely right. But I think that it's the what if's are always worse than the what actually is. I think if it came around we communicate to the point that I'd be able to handle it.. it's just the "ahh!!" what if... he desires her more blah blah.. does that make sense? This thing is so hard sometimes heh. But if we all get on the same page I think it will be totally worth it... Thanks again ~Blade~
  2. Vol thanks for the update to your situation and reviving this thread... This is my first time really posting about this so bear with me My husband and I have been married for 3 1/2 years and have been best friends for the last 11 years. We dated for about a year and 1/2 in high school as well.. he is my first love and the only person I really allowed myself to love because even when we weren't "together" I felt it would have been betraying my feelings for him to love another in the same way... we've always had great open communication and respect for each other and so about a year ago he mentioned to me the idea of getting into poly type relationships. Neither of us had done anything like it before... Well about 6 months ago after talking and figuring things out I started dating my boyfriend. He lives out near Chicago and we live in Connecticut as of now, and we spent a wonderful weekend together in October, but finances being what they are haven't been able to get together in person again since.. however we talk online or on the phone pretty much every day.. My husband also has an opportunity if he wishes to establish a relationship of his own, however I must admit that I get jealous to think of him having another woman especially if she is close seeing as my boyfriend is so far away... part of that stems from the fact that I have a high libido and he's happy with once a week.. and that sort of makes me feel that if he found another woman then I'd get it even less...if that makes sense. We are hoping within the next year at most to be moving to FL permanently and with that my boyfriend also moving down to the area that we'll be going. I don't ever see him living with us and our 3 kids.. I just don't see that being really feasible. And I honestly think at that point if my hubby were to find a gf that I wouldn't have an issue with it.. See we had a bit different ideas I think when we were talking about this. When he said poly and I started researching it I wound up equating it with how you love your kids if you have more than 1 (we have 3) I love all my children equally but not the "same" because they're different individuals. They each have their own personalities and quirks and it's not possible to love them the "same"... just as I love my husband and my boyfriend on 2 different spectrum's. My boyfriend is the second man I've ever really loved because hubby said that it was "okay" to do and therefore I didn't feel like I was betraying him by delving into it.. Hubby thought of it more like really good friends with benefits.. and maybe a bit of feelings but not full on love.. He's had a bit of jealousy if he sees me say "I love you" or am talking to my boyfriend a lot.. and when I see that I take 5 and find out what's going on and do my best to reassure him and resolve any situation.. Okay so a couple questions from you guys.. #1 Is it normal to not plan to ever live together with the other S/O's? Does that work as well or what have you than living together? #2 I know there's a lot of stuff in the post, do you guys have any suggestions or advice on how to handle the jealousy or just advice in general.. things to look out for or what not. I found a lot of info on poly online, but my husband doesn't really want to read anything on it.. let's rephrase.. he doesn't really read this board or anything related to all this.. he knows I do and if something comes across as pertinent I pass it along, but he'd rather just live life and go as we go.. I tend to take the advice to heart and implement it as necessary so he doesn't really have to lol he just generally follows my lead.. Sorry so long,and seemingly scattered.. there's a lot I want to say and ask but can't quite gather my thoughts at the moment for all of it. If it doesn't belong here in this thread feel free to move it to it's own or whatever ~Blade~
  3. I just want to make a couple of comments here. I worked for an OB/GYN for about 2 years and STD testing was a routine thing we did. When someone asked for testing, they were tested for chlamydia and gonorrhea and if it looked like they were possibly having an HSV outbreak then for herpes. Why? Because you cannot test for herpes without an active lesion to scrape to test. The other thing, is if you ever had sex with more than one person in the last 20+ years, you have no idea who you got it from.. I'm sorry and I swear I don't mean to sound harsh to anyone here but HSV can lay dormant for 20 years or more. Same goes for HPV.. that's why they're virii, any can lay dormant for a long, long time.If you've had more than one partner then you don't know who you got it from. It sounds like sometimes HSV and HPV get mixed up and interchanged when they are not the same thing. HPV is Human Papilloma Virus. Most strains cause nothing. However there are several strains that cause a woman to get abnormal cells that if left can turn into cancerous cells. Even the cells that turn abnormal aren't guaranteed to turn into cancerous cells, doctors remove them to be safe (which I believe is the best course) There isn't easy and pain free testing for a man for HSV like you can with a pap smear for a woman, but there is a test that involves a really thin q-tip taking a swab of the inside of the penis through the opening. Not much fun, but it's there. Results however aren't always conclusive. HSV (I and II) are Herpes Simplex Virus. Also known as cold sores (I) and genital warts (II). They do NOT cause abnormal cells on your pap smear, and if you have one and have relations with someone that doesn't have it you can pass it on.. in other words if you have a cold sore, and have oral sex with someone you can give them genital warts. HSV I can mutate into HSV II or vice versa depending on the breeding grounds. Sadly, a good friend of mine believed a fellow who said he had "sunburn" on his lip and allowed him to go down on her.. she how has HSV II and no longer swings as a single female. It's a shame. Thankfully as far as my husband and I are aware, we don't have either disease, and I get tested every year along with my pap smear and STD tests in between.. but that's not to say that either haven't manifested yet, just like any other person out there that has had sex in their lives with more than one person... I didn't mean to offend, demean or otherwise insult anyone here, but the mixing of herpes with HPV concerned me for people who may think they're the same thing.. they aren't. Best of wishes to everyone dealing with any of these issues, it's a very sensitive issue and I hope it all works out well for you. ~Blade~
  4. havefuninsun I just wanted to mark a difference between IUDs. The Mirena is wonderful (as stated lol) and does last for 5 years. Most women experience amenorrhea (absence of period) and less cramping. The one your sister (most likely) was talking about is a Copper T, which makes periods a little heavier (again, in most women) and cramping a little worse, but is good for 10 years instead of 5. I've tried both, loved the Mirena and bled horribly with the Copper T (which I had tried first). I generally had bad periods though, so we realized that wasn't for me. Another word of caution make sure if you get a Mirena that you check the strings often in the first few months, because I had a (inexperienced) doctor place one and it came out and viola! I'm pregnant again. However if a doctor places it correctly and you check the strings regularly you shouldn't have this issue. I had one after my first child and it was fine until we got it taken out to get pregnant for the second. Tried to get one after the second and we had our mishap. But it was meant to be I guess
  5. Thanks all for posting. Sorry that I haven't been around, but you know Christmas with the opening of presents and the further opening of the darn plastic that surrounds kids toys...I'm finally out of that fray Firstly, to address Sereneiders, it's not that I need to justify my beliefs to him, to me, it's intellectually stimulating, and I like being challenged. I've noticed that he has started to dodge the topics covered though, because he hasn't been able to counter what I've said. He's the same age as myself, (25) and he just got married 4 months ago, and I find it interesting to discuss with him things that he never even contemplated before we started discussing (his words not mine). He wasn't at work today, so no further discussion ensued, but I was talking with a couple other people who wanted to know what we were talking about in depth and I just skimmed the issue saying it was about differences of beliefs and learning from one another. They went on to say that Jehovah's Witnesses are taught to lie to people to draw them in and try to convert them and I might as well not really discuss differences of belief. That their magazine "The Watchtower" told them how to approach people and dismantle their beliefs in attempt to draw them in and lie if necessary. No offense intended if there are any JWs here, but is that true? The other question is: Isn't their bible a lot different from the standard one (for instance KJV)? Note: most of the people in my work are "Christians" and even hold prayer meetings now and again during lunch hour. I don't know if I agree with their approaches, but they mostly leave me alone about that stuff. I never knew Louisiana was "Bible Belt" until I moved here. Anyway, is that stuff true? Or are they basically just saying it because JW's aren't "like them". Just a side note/question out of curiosity. When he comes back to work I am going to point him to Romans 14 like Intuition suggested. (She's my forum heroine too Richdon03 ) I really think this has been a good thread, I've learned a lot about different view points and I value them all.
  6. Alura, Where did you find this info about saul though? Any references you can link me to? I've been looking. but thus far haven't found what I am looking for.. Thanks.
  7. Thanks to all that have responded thus far. Hotblueeyes makes me think I perhaps didn't word things correctly so let me clarify (to them at least) my intention. I do believe in God and Jesus etc. However, I also believe that the bottom line he taught was love. Love others, love yourself, and above that love him. I also believe there were several gospels left out of the bible and it has been translated (wrongly) SO many times that it more likely than not is far from original intention. The way Constantine decided to put the Bible together is a matter of popularity and politics, but I digress. Regardless, I see the Bible as a good general guidebook to live by. I do NOT believe that He was against swinging, or polyamory, or anything of a nature that is loving and consenting and not hurting others. Do I believe He was against adultery? Of course. Do I believe he was against lying and deceit? Well duh. Yeah. But those things have nothing to do with swinging. My questions were/are about how do I back these things up? I'm not trying to convince him, I know he won't convince me, but I do enjoy intellectual conversation and trying to defend my positions. I just need some help from people that have done more study than myself. For instance, I know that Saul/Paul is known to have severe mental problems, but I can't find where I read that or "prove" it. That's the newest thing that we've moved on to discuss. Also, fornication. as far as I know the only definition for that is "sex before marriage and/or adultery". Is the use of the word fornication in the bible mistranslated from something else? Again, of course I will be attempting my own research, so as to counter points (not because I "HAVE TO BE RIGHT" but because it is stimulating and challenging to me when what I believe is questioned and challenged. Others don't need to concede to it, but I'd like to be.. firm in my stance I guess. Thanks guys!!
  8. Thanks Spoo. Even tired you make sense to me I don't think either one of us ( my friend and myself) went into this conversation with the intention to change each other's minds. I think it's just about understanding each other. Because of living so far from my family and whatnot, I'm very open about my beliefs in all aspects (though when Mom and I peripherally discussed it she told me she would pray for me ) but he was just interested in how and why I believe as I do. And I know why I do, but it's hard to put verse to verse when I haven't read the whole bible and I haven't tried to pinpoint verse for verse to be able to prove my life, my thoughts etc beyond a shadow of a doubt...I'm the kind of person that will share with you and discuss with you and respect everything you're saying (not agree necessarily but at least respect) as long as you respect me...no, that's not even quite true, I still will respect your ideals if you don't respect me, I just won't talk to you anymore Anyway, being able to talk about those verses as being against a lack of respect for a woman, seeing them as "fresh meat" (for lack of a better term at the moment) instead of the wonderful, beautiful person they are. That's what I gathered you were saying anyway. Thanks again! Any other opinions are more than welcome!
  9. Ok, so maybe that's a wrong title, but I don't know how else to put it. :surrender Here's the deal. At work, a guy that sits near me is a Jehovah's Witness. In and of itself totally not a bad thing, I'm a firm believer in "to each their own". The conversation started with " Have you ever heard of the Roman Saturnalia?" I looked it up, realized it was the Roman feast for the god Saturn back in the day that happens to correspond with Christmas. I was basically like "whoopdedoo, I know already that the Christian holidays are based (timewise) on the pagan holidays, that all came about with Constantine. Besides I'm not your 'typical Christian' and hold some very different beliefs from the norm." We delved further into that conversation. I told him that I believed that Jesus' message was love and that to me cheating and adultery were the same thing, involving lies and deceit. That responsible non-monogamy with full knowledge and consent of BOTH spouses was not a bad thing, and if God wanted everyone to be only monogamous, why did Solomon have over 700 wives and concubines, and why did God say to David after the Bathsheba incident (paraphrasing) " If you wanted any other woman, all you had to do was ask." Not "you're married!! That's WRONG!! " etc etc. Well, he brought up Matthew 5:27, 28. That Jesus spoke against adultery and lust etc. I hadn't done much research and I know that a lot of you have. I am currently trying to do so, but he wants to talk tomorrow lol. I know that several people here have delved far into these things (further than myself anyway) and that Spoo (if I remember correctly) actually has degrees in Christian Theology. Or things along those lines.. so anyone that has delved into this (particularly these verses, but in general) please help me out! I don't want to "prove him wrong" per se, just be clear on my stance and that I believe that Jesus would be cool with this and have some back up. (If that makes sense ) Oh and I know about libchrist.com, and I'm looking into stuff there, but that's only one site... Soooooooo any help out there for me?
  10. Actually, I do. Face pics yes, nudes, no. However, I don't have anything related to swinging on my myspace or yahoo..although I do claim a mild interest in BDSM on Yahoo. Like I said we don't have facial nudes, and we don't go to clubs..so that's fairly N/A for us. No, but when I start talking with someone I do use my first name. Hubby never talks to anyone online (except fam and friends RARELY) and once we start talking to someone via phone I get him to talk to them too.. I really felt the need to respond to this thread. I've been thinking about this thuroughly(sp?) for the past couple days and this is what I've come up with. I am only 25 yrs old, and my hubby is 24. We live 1500 miles from family, and most of my real life friends are swingers. Ironically, we became friends before we knew they were swingers, and found out from subtle nuances that are obvious to us...birds of a feather and all that. I had talked to my mother periphially (not admitting to her that things had transpired, but in the hypothetical) and her being a "true christian" thought that these things were abominable. When I brought up the mentionings of Solomon and his 700+ wives/concubines and David and what God said to him about Bathsheba etc she got flustered not having a response and wanted to change the subject She basically wound up saying "I'll pray for you, but I won't judge you and if you're happy then...whatever." My sister knows, and when I told her she said " Well it's about time, I've known for over a year. I could never share my husband but if it works for you then good." Dad of course doesn't want to know anything Hubby's fam couldn't really care, they feel about the same as mine does. My children are still young (6 and 2months) they are WAY under the radar of anything sexual at this point, and quite frankly, we'll be leaving this area in a year and 1/2 at the most. Don't see that becoming an issue. We don't do anything around them (well.. maybe reading this board, but that doesn't count ) and when we go to Florida, we'll be living near one of our main swing partners and his girlfriend who is also looking forward to it (they just got back together). All parties discreet, so another non issue. I plan to be fairly open with my boys, not "hey look! you're mom is a whore!" BUT I personally adhere to the European thought that sex as far as adolecents (like HS age) are concerned is normal, and that if they're properly instructed, and not made to be fearful of talking to us, condoms available, etc then they should be cool too. Of course, if male BC is offered, they WILL be taking it if I have any say in it LOL. I know this has turned into a novel, and thanks for reading. I hope I made coherant sense, as I am on several meds for bronchitis...so bear with me. I would love any thoughts from you guys, I value your opinions and advice ~Blade~
  11. Well, I had been on depo for a little over a year and gained 100 lb in that year. Everyone I've talked to that took the depo gained a LOT of weight on it. Birth control pills for someone my weight aren't very effective. I had the Mirena for 3 years (before hubby and I decided to have another baby) and now that my newest is 6 weeks old I am trying to get another put in. Periods were practically nonexistant, and the level of progesterone that is in your system is so low, there are few if any side effects from it other than light to no periods. That's the best route in my opinion.
  12. No no no, DBL D, I think you took it all wrong. You're one of my faves, along with Western Swing, Tybee, Intuition, LikeMinds and Shelby (I haven't really seen turnuptheheat) I meant that the only 2 that did not show up thus far are the spoos and evilmj, not that everyone isn't welcome of course. I just think it's neat when people I look for and respect on the board happen to respond to something that I posted. I'm a dork that way Surrender My apologies if I offended. ~Blade~
  13. Well, I don't really talk to her husband anyway, my husband happens to be his friend, but they talk about computers mostly. It's usually talk between her and I. As I've said before, I link her to info, tell her what I know about it and generally try to direct her here. The biggest problem I see, is that she's a very blunt, straight forward person (which I personally love about her) but also very impatient. I keep telling her it takes time and communication. I'm going to try to get her to sign on here tonight if she will, and give y'all her take on it. Thanks everyone for the advice though. I knew I could count on you! /sidebar The only regular people I search out that have not made an appearance is the Spoos and EvilMJ. I love when my fave posters that I respect so much (i.e. the rest of you that posted as well) take the time to help me out. It's so neat. /end sidebar ~Blade~
  14. Thanks Tybee. I've tried to explain that part to her, but since we have limited experience (my hubby and I) I thought that more experienced or different people would have varying responses that might click more to her. I forget about Saturday night and whatnot with being pregnant and off the swinging market for a few more months lol. It's a request of my husbands that we don't swing, and, as I'd do anything for him, I abide by it It's hard to give new swingers advice when you've been out of the loop for a bit and don't have a super lot of experience yourself you know? Anyhow, thanks again, I'll try to keep hormones in check and be patient...perhaps tonight she'll finally sign up ~Blade~
  15. Well she keeps checking this thread to see if anyone posted, and I sent her some archived links, but there have been a lot of views to the thread and no responses? Well, I had just asked LikeMinds about it and she's the one that gave me the links, but she said post a thread as she thought it would be a good topic too. Apparently we were mistaken lol. I promise I'm trying to get my friend to sign up here and post her own stuff, but I do what I can for her. *sigh* I just thought there'd be a little more help to be found. ~Blade~
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