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richdon03

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  • Content Count

    61
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31 Excellent

About richdon03

  • Rank
    Active Contributor
  • Birthday 04/11/1963

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Northeastern US
  • Occupation
    Web Design/ Retail Management
  • Swinging Experience
    newbies
  1. if you do, please send us the link.
  2. Lizandtom, WELL SAID! MissConfused, lizandtom probably just gave you the answer that you were seeking from your husband. If he is a typical male, he probably couldn't find the words (or the heart) to put it so succinctly. Life is a learning process. Forgive him (and yourself) and move on.
  3. Before I respond, Miss Confused, I must confess I haven't read all of the responses. Having walked in your husband's shoes (to an extent), I must agree with Alura's response. When a couple begins swinging, they see and feel things for which they are often unprepared. Things are not always very clear, especially to a healthy male. Most of us secretly fantasize about seeing our spouse with another man, but are not quite prepared for the mixed emotions that that experience may cause. When I saw my wife penetrated for the first time, I hated it and loved it at the same time. I had zero interest in his wife, so I missed out on my own initiation. Part of me wanted to "even the score," while the other part of me wanted to get home as fast as possible and bang her brains out like you and your husband, that's exactly what we did. While I never hooked up with anyone else because we refused to go to swing clubs alone, I can assure you that if I had, there were one or two women that we knew who could have talked me into anything. My advice is to forgive your husband. Both of you are learning. Swinging, no matter how close you think you may be, requires a major leap of faith, and sometimes things don't go as planned and someone screws up, often unintentionally. When your self-confidence level returns and you and your husband are ready to try again, you'll be a bit more prepared. Work on your relationship with each other first. Swinging will still be around. Best of luck to you.
  4. I wouldn't get caught up on labels, either. I totally get that sentiment. Just work with her so that she wraps her head around it. This is not submission. This is guts.
  5. I'm certainly no expert in this field,but this seems to be the crux of the issue. It seems reasonable to me that, if she still felt that they were still close friends, she immediately felt a sense of comfort and the familiar desire that she remembered from the past. Add a little alcohol to the mix and, poof! This explains why my wife is opposed to FWB, and prefers random hook-ups.
  6. I started having kids late (I was 30 when my son was born) so I think I'm pretty safe for quite some time. My wife is 34 and I'm 43. She has an acceptable age range of 25 and up. Mine starts a little lower than that . This is all about doing what (who) you enjoy. Increase your odds. Use personals sites. Not only do you get to pick your liasons, but they are usually a good place to find venues that may work best for you. SLS has been the best site for us to meet younger couples. Our favorite site seems to skew older in our area. Another idea is to look for Yahoo! groups in your area.
  7. Others believe his views on sexuality were as they were because he was a homosexual who hated that part of himself. In either case, I find his views in direct contrast to Christs teachings as well. Unfortunately, much of Christendom has taken to following Paul's teachings as though they came from Christ. Most would be well-served to revisit Romans 14 as pointed out by Intuition897 (My forum heroine! ). That is little-known and too rarely emphasized in this day and time. In addition, it is balanced in that it should put this argument to rest. In essence: Believe what you believe. Believe it with all your heart, but keep it to yourself, lest you risk shaking someone else's belief. Blade, you have nothing to prove to your friend, but you must be careful not to damage his belief-systems. WOW! What a great discussion! Happy Holidays to you all!
  8. Other suggestions would be to ask others at your club if they know of clubs that cater to crowds closer to your age or use a dating site. SwingLifeStyle lists 290 matches between the age fo 21 & 27 on within the last month in the Dayton area (w/in 50 miles). I agree that it is more difficult to find a younger crowd, but they are out there. We've met two couples recently (one was 21 & 23 ,the other was 23 & 30 ) in just the past month but we did it online.
  9. That's an interesting way to look at it and I, being a newbie can understand the way you look at it. My situation is slightly different. I'm constantly trying to encourage my wife to get more into the spirit of the moment, but I never really considered this as a possible consequence. I think you kinda learn as you go and I'd probably chalk this up as a learning experience. I guess one of the big risks of this lifestyle is that one partner is always a bit more enthusiastic than the other. Maintaining a balance is difficult.
  10. We are an inter-racial couple (Black Male, Caucasian female) in New England. Like the population, most clubs are predominantly white. However, we constantly receive invitations to all sorts of clubs and parties and have witnessed very little discrimination, per se. What we find interesting is that there are relatively few African American Couples actively participating in the lifestyle. I believe it was TheGentleman who mentioned that alternative lifestyles are not generally practiced in the black community. This is largely correct. African Americans tend to be exceptionally conservative about most sexual issues, at least publicly. Someone mentioned surveys regarding oral sex practices, for example. They also tend to be more homophobic as a group than most cultures. Finally, prejudice is not a trait posessed by solely caucasians. There is a very large part of the African American community that would never consider getting sexually involved with caucasians. That being said, your fantasy is your fantasy. If you don't want to have sex with a black person, that's your choice. We're just thrilled that the swinging community in our area is as welcoming as it is. If Rich approaches a white woman who isn't attracted to black men (as rare as that is), he just moves on to the next one. Black men are in demand in these parts. As for Donna, white men are a special treat. We're glad we're in New England. Rich is from the south (Texas). There are still people in those parts that believe it is a sin to mix the races. Swinging and race-mixing may be more of a risk than they are willing to take.
  11. I'm truly surprised at the number of Virgos in the lifestyle. The comparatively small number of Aquarians surprises me as well. Overall, however, it seems pretty darned evenly distributed, which tells me that astrological signs have little to do with one's sexual appetite.
  12. Interesting. My wife is 9 yrs younger than I am. My sister-in-law is 9 years younger than my brother. My wife's sister is 9 years older than her husband. My mother is 12 years younger than her current husband. My youngest brother is about 11 years younger than his life-partner. In our family, sizeable age gaps as well as a healthy dose of "jungle fever" are normal. This is not something we given much thought to. Though I do admire those guys in the lifestyle who are 50 and married to 20- or 25-year-olds.
  13. True Story: The very first party we went to (7 years ago) we noticed that virtually everyone had false teeth, and one guy had a mouthful of rotten teeth. It was disgusting. This group had known each other for years and no one seemed to mind. I remember asking my wife if there was something about swinging that caused people to lose their teeth. To this day, I have never been to a party with that much replacement dental work. Of course, we didn't participate. Nor did we return. Truly strange. Upon our second attempt to get involved with the lifestyle just a few months ago (our 2nd or third party, I believe), we were invited to a small house party meet & greet. We arrive at the house and are looking for the couple in the picture. Neither is terribly attractive anyway, but they sounded like nice people. We walk into the house, and it's (the house) the one in the profile, the dog is the one in the profile, but the host & hostess were... let's just say not quite as advertised. During the conversation, another guest who showed up that night asked about those people in the profile. The host's response? "Oh, that's my wife's sister, so and so. She's the one who got us into swinging. She couldn't be here tonight....." I kid you not! We did not play that night. Had this been our first event upon re-attempting this lifestyle, we would have just said forget it. You can't make this up, folks! :surrender
  14. My wife has 6 sisters... But NO! I'd only consider it with one, but only if I hadn't met my wife first. As for her mother...EWWWWWW!
  15. Cool. I would love to go to that club. Maybe next month. Thanks for the info. I'll look them up.
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