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joplin

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  • Content Count

    6
  • Joined

Community Reputation

15 Good

About joplin

  • Rank
    Just Getting Started
  • Birthday 07/20/1979

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    couple
  • Location
    NC
  • Interests
    reading, sports, roller blading, hanging out with friends
  • Occupation
    he is in construction/she is in education
  • Swinging Experience
    still waiting for our first experience, but we have been talking about it for 7 years

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    bcwecan
  • Favorite Club(s)
    haven't been to any yet

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  1. Ok, let me clarify that I am not standing up and saying "Stop" and everyone stops what is going on. What I mean by stopping my husband is by saying that I am giving him the "I am not happy with this situation, let's switch back" signal. He'll nod and one of us will say we want to switch back. When we switch back, I will then please him in whatever way he wants it. Please don't think that I am making it all stop completely. That would be terribly wrong of me to say that everyone had to stop because I am not having a good time. We just switch back to our spouses. Now, in the third situation, I kind of did pull him away from a fun time in order to come back to me, however the other male stopped everything all together. In the first two situations, the other couples seemed ok with going back to their spouses, but in the third situation, the male just made it stop all together due to his limp situation. I just made him stop having fun with the other female, which I know is wrong, but understand that this was the third limp situation I had been in, and I was getting upset and didn't know what else to do. We are just very new to the lifestyle, and it is all a huge learning experience. Just wanted to clarify that.
  2. Chicup, sorry I gave you the impression that I am insecure about the lifestlye or I am paying more attention to what my husband is doing bc believe me, I am giving each man more that a fair chance to get it up. I am about 80% focused on what I am doing to the guy and what is happening between us. The other 20% is just checking on my husband to make sure he is ok, by looks or a touch, something simple like that. The first two situations where about the same where the guys were trying to give me oral, but I'm not much of an oral girl. I would rather give than receive, thats what turns me on the most. The third situation, the man was pretty much limp everywhere. He did attempt to give me oral, however at this point, apparently my husband was hitting all the right spots with the guy's wife and the guy started paying attention to his wife. I was kind of left out for a moment, which is pretty awkward. He then got up to go to the bathroom, which of course gave me the chance to fufill one of my husbands fantasies of a ffm. He was very excited with what I was doing to him along with this other woman, but when the male came back, he basically pulled me back to him and we were back to square one again. I really enjoy what my husband does to these women and it is a great turn on, but what am I supposed to do when he is having a great time, I am turned on by what he is doing, and the male is limp and cant perform? I agree with you that if my partner acted as though they didn't want to be there, it would be a huge turn off for me as well. I just had a hard time after the ffm bc I wanted to continue what we were doing but the other male just wanted me to continue to work on his limp unit, and I was getting pretty tired of that. Believe me, I don't ever want to ruin anything for my husband, we just have a rule that one doesn't play without the other. So if one of us needs to stop, the other stops as well. I think it's great that he is having fun, but I just don't want to constantly be sitting back and having to deal with the limp men. That just doesn't seem right to me. Maybe if the other guy had taken the initiative to just sit out and watch (he later wrote an email saying that he know he wouldn't be able to get it up bc he had had too much to drink but he wanted to keep trying anyway), the experience may have turned out better, but that's the way it goes sometimes. I am just trying to figure out what is happening and if this is a common experience among others. Thanks everybody for your input on my situation, it is great to hear the different perspectives from everyone so far. You guys have been super helpful for me with this crazy start I have had in the lifestyle. I'm feeling a little better about the situation now that I have heard what others have to say. Thanks so much!
  3. Ok, here's what's going on..... My husband and I recently got into the lifestlye. We have talked about swinging for several years and we came up with a few rules before we got started. Our relationship was wonderful and our communication was excellent as well. We have been told by several couples in the last few weeks that they are very impressed with our level of security at our ages. He is 27 and I am 26. We have been together for 7 years. Our relationship is not in jeopardy due to these bad experiences but my self confidence is pretty much shot right now. I hope you guys can help me out. We first met a couple online who lives in our area. We talked quite a bit on the computer and on the phone. We got the chance to meet at a party about a month ago. It was our first time going to a party and we had a blast on the dance floor. We had no problems with jealousy or insecurity within ourselves or our relationship. While at the party we met another couple whom we eventually went up to the hotel room and swapped with. This first experience was ok, however we ended up switching back to our partners due to the fact that the male was pretty small and was having a hard time keeping it up. My husband was having a great time with this other female and I felt bad breaking that up, however I was just too uncomfortable. Our second experience happened that same night with the couple we met online. My husband was slightly attracted to the female and I was very attracted to the male. We attempted a full swap, but, of course, he had had too much to drink and couldn't keep it up either. Once again, I had to break my husband and this other female. He was having a great time, but I just had to give up on the male who couldn't get it up. Our third experience happened last night. We met a couple for drinks and some great conversation. We left the restaurant and went to a more private place for some fun. My husband was super attracted to the female while I was somewhat attracted to the male. My husband slightly hurt my feelings bc he didn't talk to me to see if I really wanted to swap with them. I gave him signals but he didn't pay attention. He says he wasn't able to follow my signals. Anyway, we attempted a full swap, however, once again he couldn't get it up. He said that he had too much to drink. I was very uncomfortable by this point however my husband couldn't seem to take his tounge away from this chic's pussy to make sure I was ok. I had to put a stop to the whole thing, again. I guess you can tell that I am feeling pretty bad right now. All three of the men have said that it was totally their fault. They have all called or spoken to me the next day and have said that I am a very sexy female and they are all hoping to get a second chance. I know that I am by far not any ugly person. I am not barbie but I am very attractive for having three kids. In all the experiences I have attempted to use oral and manual stimulation in trying to get them up. They all have told me that I give an awesome BJ, they just have had too much to drink. I just don't know what to do now. My husband cant understand why I am so upset. He says that it is them and not me. I have tried to explain to him that this is supposed to be for our fun, yet he is the one having all the fun and I am not. I guess I am jealous that he is having fun with sexy partners and haveing great experiences, while I have yet to even have one fun time. I am not sure now if I want to even try again. My first three experiences have been horrible and I don't know if I can stand the blow from a fourth being bad as well. Sorry for writing a book, but what do I do now? I am just wondering what I should do to feel better? Has anybody else had similar experiences? Please help me!
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