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SandJinVT

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About SandJinVT

  • Rank
    Duct Tape Anyone?
  • Birthday 01/12/1958

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Vermont
  • Interests
    Hot tubbing, sewing, traveling
  • Occupation
    Business Owner
  • Swinging Experience
    8+ Years

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  1. We have to agree with that. We don't know if Craig's a swinger or not, but it certainly isn't a site "meant" for that sort of thing. And now that they're pulling their "sexy ads" section out, I doubt that anyone will be finding much of anything in the swinging sector. If you want a good comfort level, go to sites that are run by swingers for swingers. They really DO try to weed out the miserables, the fakes, etc. There are newbies on every site, and a lot of wannabees, but you learn quickly how to sort through them. I'm a little leery of Craig's list, since ANYONE can write an ad. And we wouldn't ever go to a party listed there, mainly because we'd have no idea what we would be walking into. We have profiles on a lot of sites, mainly because we travel, and we really DO like meeting people and actually meeting and having sex (gasp!). But they're swinger's site, where we have a good chance of meeting up with people of like minds.
  2. lmao, you're right, and I should have considered that. I can't wait to hear what comments the next pair brings.
  3. You know, I lean more towards Julie's remarks about the Holiday Inn. We've been in a few that were definitely furnished in 1985 and NOT 2005, if you get my drift. In addition, non-chain hotels, the Mom and Pop types, could be another reason for the pic, especially in rural areas of Vermont, New Hampshire, New York, or maybe even other spots. From your description, about the only thing I can conclude is that there are too many ways to make assumptions that may or may not be correct. I put a pic on another site, simple picture of some wonderful FM pumps. Someone wrote to tell me it wasn't possible for me to be as old as I stated, since "old ladies" don't wear shoes like that. Hopefully it was a joke.
  4. This is one of my fantasies - to have a Jack and Jill party here. BUT, not all Jack and Jill parties are just lone-masturbation. It can be group fun, ie. 3 or 4 women on one man, or vice versa. The deal with these parties is that there is no sexual intercourse at all, not even with your own spouse. I can remember a "Real Sex" (I think that's what it was) episode that featured a Jack and Jill party. It was incredibly sexy.
  5. We don't actually get "turned off" by pictures so much as it is a lack of a "turn on". Dirty backgrounds, messy homes are a definite "no no" for us. Pictures of only one member of the couple. Rarely, if ever, will we write to those profiles, and if they write to us, we will ask for a pic of the "missing spouse". After that, we're usually told they are "far too well known" to have a picture posted. lol Apparently some people think others were just born yesterday, AND in the dark. We don't get turned off by cock shots or closeups, we just don't contact them and they will get a prompt no thanks if they write to us. I'm with the poster who wanted the folks together, nicely dressed, and facing the camera (as in a studio type of photo). All we want to see is that 1) its a couple, 2) they are appealing to us, and 3) they aren't either of our exes, lol. To the poster who didn't want to approve the finger pics? Go right ahead. Mostly everyone we've ever met in this Lifestyle has the same feeling about those pictures, and in most cases, they are used as avatars in the forums, and are done just to be able to flip someone off without actually doing so - kid stuff, lol. :-)
  6. I'm thinking the same as Julie here. There's nothing to question yourselves over. You went, you played with him in an MFM, and you left. You had a good time, you've already figured out he's a single male, but that doesn't matter at the moment. The ONLY thing that matters is that you had a good time - the rest is in the past. :-)
  7. Night Goddess, my first husband was 13 years my senior. The one and only time I thought it was an issue was in a restaurant. Mind you, I never thought I looked tremendously younger than he, but that night, apparently the star were aligned. The waitress came up to the table, turned to him after he'd ordered a drink, and said "and what will your daughter be having?". I just chuckled into my water over it. As far as swinging and an age difference? The chrono age of a person is the very LAST thing we look at. Their maturity, their carriage, their personalities and the chemistry we have with them will always rank first. We've never cared how old someone is, but how young (or old) they act. If a 40-year-old is acting like they are still in junior high, we already know that it isn't going to work out. And when we meet them in person, after "meeting" them online, they'd better be the same people, lmao. That always scares me far more than their age! :-)
  8. OMG, too funny ktime, and very true (PS - our next trip is to Australia, glad to see nice people from there) We try our best to keep our personal sex life away from our activities (vanilla), as a rule. While we mix our friends together often, with no problems so far, we don't announce that we're swingers to anyone except other swingers. We once visited a swing couple in another state. We went out the first night, and were surprised to learn that they'd announced to damn near everyone they knew that they were swingers, and didn't care to hide the fact that we were also. We aren't stuffed shirts, but this appalled us more than either of us could say. Some people are far more comfortable with others knowing their private life, and some people aren't. Our rule - keep it to ourselves, and keep it amongst other swingers.
  9. My first thought was, where was this thread years ago when we started in the Lifestyle? It would have prevented a LOT of mistakes and missteps. It also would have prevented us from getting into the mess of dating swingers. While we love to develop friendships with folks we swing with (and we've got close friends, many of them, who are swingers with whom we haven't had sex), the friendships have never developed BEFORE the sex, only after. Its all the more fun when, after the sex, vanilla activities commence. A huge mistake that a lot of newbies make is not making their intentions clear to another couple, especially a veteran couple. You should know within a few minutes of meeting someone whether you are attracted or not. It is chemistry and doesn't require a lot of thought process. If you want to see them a couple of times after that, and they agree that this is what they want also, fine. But in most cases, if the chemistry is there, the other couple is going to want to play. Sooner, not later. Be clear on your profile. Don't say "we're testing the waters" or "we're trying to broaden our horizons". Use that as a tag line, and use your profile to examine what you want, and where your limitations are. We are not a "meet and play" couple. We always meet first in a vanilla location, usually sharing a meal. Then, if the chemistry is right, the next "date" is play. We've had newbies show up for that second date, despite the fact that we've made it clear that it is a "play date", wanting to spend time going shopping, or maybe another meal, with no play involved. Their intentions weren't clear until they showed up, which left us disappointed. And please don't lead people on. If you aren't ready to play, you aren't ready. Make those intentions clear to the other couple. Yes, I know it is difficult to discuss sex out in the open, but that is what is required by this lifestyle. If you aren't able to say exactly what you want, the rest of us won't know. And one last thing (I can hear it now, isn't she done yet? lol). Waiting until very late to play is a no-no. We, and a lot of other swingers we know, will NOT seduce you. We presume that you are there because, like us, you want sex. If you are just waiting for someone else to start the action, get up and give the male half of the other couple a big kiss. It is bound to heat up after that! Mrs SandJ
  10. One of our most erotic play-times was with a newbie couple who originally wanted to do "watch and be watched". It progressed from there into a soft swap, and we are NOT sorry at all! S
  11. We mix our swinger and vanilla friends all the time, but we have NEVER even thought about telling our vanilla friends that we swing. First, I don't see any reason in the world for them to know about our sex life. Second, as someone said previously, it is a guarantee that once a vanilla knows about your swinging, EVERY vanilla they know will know. Gossip is a powerful pull on some people, and that would be about as juicy as gossip could get. My advice would be to deal with it when, and IF, it ever comes up in a conversation.
  12. Sure did. I was 17 and was engaged to a 24 year old. My first threesome was MFM about a year later. And to think I didn't become a swinger until my 40's! lol
  13. We've used them both when looking for a single guy for an MFM. All of them ended up being on AFF, not SLS. I don't know that the same thing would apply for other parts of the country though. We have a very small swinging pool up here, so what worked for us might not work for someone in another geographical area. The single guys we contacted on SLS were ALL no shows, every single one, for the first two years. We did finally find a gem, but for the most part, we got no answers from our emails, and they didn't show up when we made a "vanilla" date to meet. S
  14. SchniderMike, First, whatever you do, do it for her, not yourself. Put yourself in last place. For that matter, don't even THINK about what swinging would do for you. Let her read some of what the folks on swingersboard have written. Second, convincing her isn't what you want to do. What you want to do is let her be well-informed about what the lifestyle is about. Let her in on the biggest of the dirty secrets about swinging - its fun, both sexually and socially. And if she responds favorably to your conversation/communication, you might suggest a "watch and be watched" situation (if she shows interest). She wouldn't have contact with the other couple, she'd only be with you. We played like this one time, with an incredibly hot couple who was visiting Vermont for a long weekend. OMG, it was so amazingly hot. And we never touched the other couple, other than hugs and a short kiss when we were leaving.
  15. We've had this happen a couple of times on SLS over the last four years. We figured the couple wanted something "sure" for that coming weekend, and when we replied by telling them we weren't free THEN, but we were free another time, it queered the deal for them. {shruggs}. Don't let it get you down.
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