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slowluvr65

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16 Good

About slowluvr65

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 11/02/1954

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Single Male
  • Location
    Camarillo CA
  • Interests
    Writing, Inventing, Running
  • Occupation
    Nerd
  • Swinging Experience
    Less than a year

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    slowluvr65
  • Favorite Club(s)
    Red Rooster, Las Vegas

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  1. Thank you. Finally it was expressed in a nice package. This is the positive attitude I wish people would adopt. I hate to reduce it to "rap" slang but it seems to fit. For all the open and accepting types of people swingers proclaim to be, there is too much hating going on. Worse yet, it is hating based on categories or specifically marital status. All this crap about the folks who do not want swingles to use the word "swinger" to describe themselves is really that you do not want us in your "lifestyle" or most particularly in your meetings and clubs. And that exclusion is entirely based on our status. Simply put, if you don't want to play with me, don't. I don't want to bother you either, and I won't. I do wish for the opportunity to meet a couple, a female, a group who DOES want to play with me. There may be other single males who have offended you. Excess Testosterone will get you disqualified from the Tour de France and will take away your World Record, but utimately it won't make you popular. Test my A and B samples, if I'm an asshole then I deserve to be criticized for something I have done. Until I have done something offensive, don't include me in that wide brush.
  2. Welcome to the world of television--which I must admit to being a part of. The people who make most of what you watch only research things in a superficial way. Anything you might see about any subject you truly know about will seem incomplete at best and completely wrong at the extreme. Any documentary with the logistical difficulties of the secrecy required for discreetness within the swing world certainly would be a poor representation. I have the technical ability, occasional real swing experience (as a single male, I only get invited into MFM situations) and obviously the interest to produce such a documentary, but I recognize the futility of such an effort. Nobody I have met in the swing world would be willing to open their lives up to the point of really showing what this is about. I don't show my face on-line, much less in a widely distributed documentary. Even at that, there are so many variations and diverse interests that all fall under the swing category that it would be impossible to cover them all. And how would it be presented? The only way it could be shown would be as an X rated presentation. That would add it to the refuse heap of cheap porn productions. But in a highly censored version, the viewer would miss most of the story. In a sense, that is all VH1 got, a censored, superficial look that served its prurient lust for ratings by providing risque programming, more than to provide a legitimate documentary. OK, I ramble.
  3. It is blatantly obvious a lot of couples in the swing community do not consider us swingles as swingers. Personally I choose to look at it and define myself in that fashion first, because I have been invited to participate with swingers and second because I think I have the appropriate attitude to do so. I actually think there could be some sort of badge issued to the few of us who "get it" but apparently a majority of the couples are so offended on the mere idea of a swingle male that that is not going to be accepted. Somehow nobody notices the inequity of swingle females being not only accepted but the highest demand "commodity" in this "lifestyle." Damn we have euphemisms for everything. What is the difference between a swingle female being accepted and a swingle male not being accepted, folks it is your prejudice. If you categorically superimpose the actions of others, rather than the actions of the individual, that is the definition of prejudice. There are obvious differences in the preferences of swinging couples. Lots only play couple to couple. Lots of others only swing with females (thus the high demand for bifems). A minority of couples will play with another male. Those are recognized facts. My complaints, called whining in the other topic, were directed at the limitation of those couples who do like MFM to select only from the males from other couples at the exclusion of legitimate swingle males like me. Granted female bisexuality is the most common reason. BUT lots of women will indulge their man's fantasy to be with multiple women, but their men do not have the BALLS to indulge her fantasy of being with multiple men. OK, I said it. That's my prejudicial statement. The lack of BALLS extends to those who only play with males who are not perceived to be a threat to them (because they are already in their own relationship). That male ego condition does effect the ratio described above. If you base your acceptance to even use the euphemistic label of this kind of activity simply on your prejudice, you really aren't the open minded people you claim to be, are you? In The Plight of the Single Male , my supposed whining, I tried to pose a literate appeal to make you think and possibly change your mind. Essentially I got flamed. At least JnCC has managed to sway one of those people--that's the best we can hope for. My own personal experiences are similar to those of JnCC below. Egos seem to get in the way here. I try to leave mine at the door. If either member of the couple I get to play with regards me as a threat to the male of the couple, they have it entirely wrong. I KNOW I will go home alone and likely will never see them again--though I have been asked back to play again. I am a guest performer that adds spice to their relationship. Its not about me being better than he is (though I do seem to lose a lot of opportunities to the demands of some women for a monster cock--if that is their fantasy, I can't help), it is about my presence adding up for something special for both of them. With the right mindset, it works quite well. And I have continued a few conversations with my new play friends--I know about the post-MFM sex frenzy that playing this way causes for them. OK, hearing that I helped cause THAT is a kick to my ego. I'm not a participant in that fun. Maybe the perception of a threat to their relationship makes them hot, but we all know anything beyond that ain't gonna happen. I will say that one thing that attracts me to this is exactly what JnCC refers to in the guise of problems. I enjoy taking my time (thus the handle) playing with a new woman, exploring her and finding her buttons. Once I know what turns a woman on, I'm more inclined to skip past the other stuff and go right for the home run--it could get monotonous. Maybe, subtly, that has been a problem in my relationships. Which, I suspect, is why couples like to mix up the spices. I learn from them, they learn from me, we expand our experiences and experience "we"--its all good. I also am attracted to challenging situations where I don't know what is going to happen next. Fun surprises are a great turn on. And it is a big kick to overcome the fear of the unknown. That got me into MFM situations in the first place. Now I know I enjoy playing with a woman who is that turned on and of course enjoy being part of getting her to that extra level. Since I'm writing such a dissertation again (should I have broken this into multiple posts?), I've got to mention Dezaray above. Yes, of course I play with single women, but those women deal with the average single male all the time. If you think some of the vultures you have met in the swing world are bad, look at the regular barflies out trying to get laid. Those scummy men cause very cynical, jaded women. I can't count the conversations I have had with women who have all the personality of a DMV worker and I blame the way they are treated by, or lied to, by the common male. That does make the true swingers (however we define the term) much better to deal with. They know what they want, they know why all of us are here. If I happen to fit what they want, nobody has to deal with the extra layers of bullshit in the way. I know my own style, if you are not interested in me, you will barely know I'm there. I'm actually quite shy about initiating the subject of sex and struggle to initiate a conversation beyond saying hello without your reciprocation. That puts me about as far away from the obnoxious vulture as you might ever find. I'm the wallflower watching the same act from across the room. And maybe some of the obnoxious males might learn from my experiences, because being the least pushy guy in the clubs I have gotten in to (rare as they are) HAS set me apart and gotten me invitations to play.
  4. This is just my quick impression, but normally when I even get to the point of chatting with somebody one on one, the bullshit and the secrets go out the window. There is a key difference between things that are posted on the internet that can be seen by ANYBODY or a private communication between interested partners. Granted, I am a single male and I actively seek a real meeting. I freely disclose how to reach me and in private, if there is anything happening between us, we exchange pictures and such. If it gets more serious, we talk about how to meet. Some people are cautious and we meet publicly, others have gotten past the pretence or have learned through our communication that I am trustworthy. Phone numbers are exchanged, voice communication takes place. The key thing I am pointing to is, honest communication is taking happening. If you get incomplete information, hidden photos, no phone number etc., that is a key sign that some B.S. is happening. It is essential to recognize that with anybody you are going to be intimate with. There's a funny thing about honesty, its not selective. If somebody lies about their social situation, they also could be lying about their health situation. I'll go further, and I'm sorry that I point this at females, but this does seem to be a female trait in the sexual dynamic. Women like to tease. They seem to feel that because teasing in person is so much fun, that it is also fun in this on line social dance we do to try to arrange a meeting. Some get sufficient gratification from men telling them how hot they are, some think that its fun to advertise but they don't follow through. And for us eager men its a cruel trait when we think we have an interested, hot woman but she doesn't show up. It is the hardest thing to try to figure out who is real and who is teasing. Men are much more direct--you know what they want. If the offer is to join in fucking their wife or partner, we have a match. Not that men are free from fault. There are a lot of cheaters and fakers. I hear a lot of complaints (OK, some come in the form of accusations) about married men sneaking into these situations without their wives knowing about it. Other guys apparently send out photos of men they are no longer, or never were. And what happens when something different shows up? What do they think will happen? Even though I have gotten no actual results from here, the reason I keep coming back to this site is the people here seem honest, genuine and real. And in the on line world, that is rather unique.
  5. This is definitely at the top of my to-do list. Certainly I am always enthralled with the female reaction to anything I do. If this is anything like the intense reaction a regular DP (which I have done) gets, I'm all for it. My guess is, understanding a little of the mechanics in there, it might even be more intense. Great. It is also a personal goal--a milestone achievement. I am always up for a challenge, and this is the biggest one. For a straight male, it is not just working past the engineering, but the homophobia. Normally a guy (without the gay/bi inclination) has a hard time touching another guy in any sort of sexual manner. And the LAST place we would touch another guy would be his dick. And with his own dick no less. Well this will zoom right past all that unnecessary fear. Having accomplished this, I will know I have freed myself from that homophobic burden. I'll know I can do anything. Well folks, I am eager to do a DVP. And if you are ever in my area and want to do it, please hit me up.
  6. I'll say I have been invited to four GangBangs. So far every one of them has been cancelled due to lack of interest. I was fortunate on one occasion that I was not notified of the cancellation. So here I was at the door of the surprised, disappointed couple. So I got to meet an incredibly hot woman and her husband. No GangBang, but a lot of fun ensued. So I can't say I missed the GangBang, but its still on my "to do" list of experiences. The point is, I am a (legitimately single) guy who will show up. After I've had the opportunity to do one, I'll see if its something I wish to pursue more ferverently. I have found that I enjoy how women get in an MFM and that I don't shy away with another guy in the room. And folks, that is why I am here on this site looking for more.
  7. I'm sorry folks, I am just too much of a lover of the human body form that I just hate to see it defaced by a tattoo. Women particularly. It is like trying to improve on perfection. It is a distraction, your eye is drawn to the disruption in the beauty rather than being allowed to appreciate what you already have before you.
  8. I voted for the Flintstones too. Just too much going on there to not have anything going on there. Popeye and Bluto never got the idea of sharing--even with all the hints and overt guidance Olive Oyle was trying to give them. The up tight couples like the Hills could never get started. The Griffins, I'll bet Lois is good for a romp but Peter would just fuck it up. We already know the Simpsons are into public sex, but they have too much trouble relating to other people. Now I could see the Jetsons buzzing out for a night at the club too, two or three healthy studs working on very enthusiastic Jane while George chats on with his buddies about sprockets . . . Maybe this is a slice out of my own vivid imagination. Jane, cyber me . . .
  9. Its a sorry state of affairs that some men can't seem to get it. While I have tried not to act shocked at all sorts of behaviours in club situations, the one that shocks me the most are the single guys that don't seem to get it. I have witnessed first hand as other single Males have tried to put themselves into the action--action that I was involved in--to the point that the other guy had to threaten physical action to get rid of the jerk. And earlier in the evening, the same guy and others were circling single women like vultures and openly playing with themselves (this particular case happened in a club in Las Vegas). These are the same guys who probably begin their conversations with women with "Let's fuck." Behaviour like that makes it understandable why many women don't want single males around, yet that denies them and me the opportunity to get together. Obviously I think that I "get it" and I certainly don't behave like that--and I think that is why I do get picked to play. I wish there could be a card issued to myself and the other guys I have seen who do get it. Instead, my local clubs just have a blanket policy, single males excluded. You'd think I'd have a lot of clubs to choose from in the Los Angeles. Nope. To my knowledge, NONE of the L.A. clubs accept single males. As you get further away from the city, there are clubs in the outlying areas that do--they actually support themselves at the exorbitant rates they charge the single males. So if I go to a club, I have to go well over a hundred miles through the second most populated metropolis in the country, to meet and possibly play with women or couples who haven't even heard of the town I live in. It certainly limits the close friends I can develop or the number of repeat performances I get. Certainly I think these are positive experiences for the women too, so it is their loss as well.
  10. I enjoy it smooth with the ladies, it is only decent common courtesy to reciprocate. So I keep it as clean and smooth as possible. Frankly I was surprised how quickly it tries to grow, and it can get awful scratchy if I let it go. So I maintain the garden as often as I take a shower.
  11. While I got into swinging as a single because I had the desire to follow through on the group sex, MFMs and DPs that are prevalent in the pornos I watched. Having experienced how turned on a woman gets while getting DPed, I come back for more. But while the group situation is what I seek in environment, I have ended up in more encounters where I do some guys wife while he looks on and does not participate. Not that I have found that much action yet, but in my limited experiences, one guy just clicked off pictures (lots of pictures); and the other two occured in club situations where the guys just drank beer, had a conversation and watched.
  12. I have been in both scenarios. The first is where hubby just watches and doesn't participate. From my standpoint, that is just another one on one sexual experience. The only difference is he is enjoying watching the wife get my full treatment--in one case he took pictures, in another he just drank beer and talked with a friend along with a couple of losers who wanted to fuck her. The second scenario is where he participates. Do the math, a guy has but one significant apendage to stimulate, but a female has three orafices that work. Two guys can keep two of those occupied (I haven't done three guys keeping all three occupied yet). She can entertain both of us and we can keep switching off which keeps it always interesting and hot. Many simply call that a DP, but if one orafice is her mouth I don't count that. The true DP is the highlight of the encounter. This is where the pussy and ass each get one guy. If she is not inclined toward anal, this doesn't work of course. But if she is, the woman gets sooo turned on. Screaming orgasm follows. And that is why we are here, right? I have heard of a couple of more elaborate scenarios, I was even asked to participate in one that has yet to transpire. Double pussy and double anal. It takes a special woman to want these. It takes a couple of special guys to get past the homophobia and give her this experience. But I have been told it is off the scale for her.
  13. I too would like to separate myself from the impatient, desperate, testosterone laced, horny guys. Slow is in my handle for a reason. I believe in making every hook up special. So far I have found I can be quite passionate about it--and when we are finally done, I can walk away. As Woody said, I aim to please--that is what I get off on. I have my problems, I can articulate them in detail if you want. Suffice it to say, I have no interest in displacing your guy. I'm probably not capable of sustaining a long term relationship. But it is rewarding as hell to get asked back for a repeat performance occasionally. It keeps it fresh but still familiar, does that make sense? I guess the simple message is. Judge me and the other guys by the way we behave, not on a blanket categorical exclusion. Occasionally you might find a gem within the rubble.
  14. Maybe it is a male thing, but I dream of getting that intense kind of response. Ladies your screams, your trembling and all of your reactions are what pushes me. And I like to be pushed. A good squirt would be the jackpot.
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