Okay - so this is something that my boyfriend and I do from time to time. We allow each other to play alone. This is for LOTS of reasons. Our schedules don't allow for dual play. We're not interested in what the other is (oh and we do have a HUGE difference in taste). Various reasons like that.
WE STILL PLAY TOGETHER TOO - He likes to see me with other men! I like to see him with other women!
I was talking to some swinging friends last night about it online and they all started freaking out about it like we were breaking some kind of unspoken swinging rules or something. I was like "Whoa wait a friggin second".
We have rules here. First we tell each other before we meet anyone (safety plus courtesy so someone isn't waiting on someone else to get home - KWIM?). Secondly - if we KNOW that there is chemistry there and that the chances of something happening is great then we do warn each other (not always the case - but sometimes you just know!). Thirdly we fill each other in with the details (whether they be written, spoken, etc).
Personally - I don't feel it's cheating to play alone AS LONG AS I KNOW ABOUT IT! They feel it's cheating the partner is not present whether or not they know about it.
So now I'm curious - where does everyone else stand on this issue?
I'm secure enough in our relationship to trust him to know that if anything happened he'd tell me. Or if he met anyone (no matter how innocent it was) he'd tell me. Vice Versa too. Or maybe I've been this way soooo long with him that it's just so much like life to me that it's strange that anyone else is DIFFERENT from it.
Not passing judgement, but I'm just curious now. So if you don't mind sharing - please do
Best Regards,
Nadia