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hilltop

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16 Good

About hilltop

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    Super Contributor

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  • Relationship Status
    single male
  1. I'm so sorry that you're in this situation! You don't make it go away. These are feelings that you have to work with and through. No matter how much your partner reassures you it isn't something that he can put to rest. Swinging (or any other absolute) can't be a criteria for a relationship. It can only be one small part of the whole. As the previous posters have said, work on what the two of you have and then come back to the swinging issue. If he is willing to let the rest go by the wayside over this one thing then you may have to come to terms with moving on. Don't get into swinging as a way to keep your relationship together. It will only come apart later in a much larger way! Good luck! I hope you'll be able to work it out.
  2. Great posts guys! Hope you have a great time! Enjoy!
  3. there you go . . . I look at being with someone who is new as a way to make the experience a positive one and try and stay very sensitive to their shifting boundries. For me, it's no different than introducing someone to any activity that you're experienced in. I wouldn't put a novice rider on a horse then slap it on the ass and watch it take off with them nor would I refuse to ride with them just because they'd limit where we could go. I just adjust to what their comfort level is. Double diamond slopes aren't for the uninitiated, but with time and positive experience, they can get there!
  4. The only reason we didn't hear you was because we were our asses off! They didn't call him "Slick Willy" for nuthin'!!
  5. Sorry privatedance . . . I always seem to screw up getting quotes to work right Some o' my answers to your questions are mixed into your quotes.
  6. Being Pre-arranged really is the way it usually goes. You need to have good upfront communication with the couple. You're trying to get together to have some fun so you want to work out the details and find out where the limits are. There will always be those times you think you're all on the same page but it turns out not to be so. It's handy to have a plan B just in case. As far as typical? Every one I've been involved in seems to be different (unless I know the couple really well) but I typically look to have lots of fun
  7. Privatedance24 - I appreciate the clarification on the motives for your question. It was VERY well stated. Unfortunately as a single male in the swinging community it is a constant challenge to be seen for the individuals we are. Because their are so many of our fellows who are more than willing to behave like absolute brutes it becomes ever more important to try and provide a look into being single that goes past the stereotype. I didn't take your question as a declarative statement but I did use the opportunity as a forum and for that I apologize. Here's a little more personal insight to what I said in my previous post regarding passion. I was involved in a physical relationship for a short time with a lesbian couple. The three of us had known each other for a long time and they had been together for about seven years. The passion and level of excitement for them during our time together was as intense (maybe even more so) to any MFM encounter that I've had with any couple. So, for me regardless of the circumstance or the genders involved it's all about that powerful dynamic that three people can generate!
  8. It's done for the same reasons everyone here seeks other playmates to enhance their sex life. Are there those who do it just for NSA sex? Sure, just register on any ad site and say you're looking for a single male . . . If you're going to break it down to just the physical, what do singles get out of sex with anyone - swingers or vanilla. We do it for the same reasons everyone has sex. Voyeuristic? You bet - we like it for the same reasons so many couples watch porn. For myself I find more honest passion with a couple who are pushing the limits of their sexuality and if you're lucky enough to form a friendship out of it you're part of a very unique dynamic that most of society doesn't understand. What's not to like about that? I love these sorts o' questions. It assumes singles are somehow "different" than everyone else. Remember, we're just you without a committed partner.
  9. You were the fuse . . . . It's amazing how often this same powder keg goes off around here . . .
  10. Anyone remember this line? Hey, he posed the question . . . careful what you ask for.
  11. Arami, You've gotten a lot of great advice from all of the previous posters . . . take heed. I would like to add my two cents regarding the "it's all about her and them" statements. Having been in many MFM situations it's actually about ALL THREE of you. Each of you has a place of equal consideration. As stated by the posters above, show understanding/respect for them and expect it for yourself as well. This is new for all of you, let it be about first time exploration and not expectation. Approach it that way and do everything you can to put them and yourself at ease. Most of all make it about having fun and enjoying each other's company. Good luck to you and have a great time!! Let us know how it went!
  12. I'm 6'4" and it sure comes in handy when you need something from the top shelf Being tall gets you noticed for sure but there's some downside to it (my fellow 6'2" + guys know what I'm talking about). Just remember all of the fellas who walked on the moon were well under 6 feet . . . and they'd never let my stretched out frame in a fighter jet. So bein' big don't mean doin' better.
  13. Welcome bidykie! Glad you found us! I've found that the swinging community is pretty accepting of most anything as long as you're up front and honest about it. You'll find just about every combination of what constitutes a "couple" if you look long enough. Both of you being women and bi will have an attraction for a lot of folks but everyone has the problem of finding couples that will be looking for what you're offering and being compatible. You just have to put yourself out there, do what's comfortable and see what goes! Hey, stick around and let us know how it progresses!
  14. I can't speak to whether the Bible explicitly forbids swinging or being bi. But I do know that where knowledge goes . . . . God dies. We have a need as a species to put the unknown in the hands of God so that we can be comfortable with the larger questions. It's easier to have a moral compass provided for you than it is to take that responsibility on yourself. If you were to go back 250 years and showed an educated individual (for the time) a box that would let you see his bones, you'd be hanged for being in league with the devil. Today, no one questions the use of Xrays and the explanation of what makes them work. The instances of those kinds of change in thinking are innumerable. It's telling that while our acceptance that a new material discovery can replace a divine explanation with a scientific one we continue to seriously struggle with the role sex plays in our society. We still look to our religion to provide us with the "right" answer. If you want to control a mass of individuals you need to take command of two things . . . fear and sex, two of our most powerful motivators. Establish clear and hard rules around sex and enforce them with fear and you rule the world. Knowledge has a tendency to move faster than dogma so the organized religions are left to scramble to keep up and adapt their structure to the new matrix of society. And because they can no longer impose a physical fear (in Western cultures) to keep their structure in place, it is becoming more and more difficult to keep the individual on their "moral" path. Is it a sin to swing? Only the individual can answer that. Some will never be capable of it. Some will rationalize it, other's will turn a blind eye to it and yield to their desires. Our attitude toward sexual morals is just another element of change (albeit a slow one) in our ever shifting view of how we fit into the scheme of things.
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