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LaylaSusanne

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About LaylaSusanne

  • Rank
    Active Contributor
  • Birthday 10/06/1965

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  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, USA
  • Occupation
    Nurse

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  1. WHEW!!! What a HUGE can of worms! But something everyone should at least think about and discuss together. I have had a partial hysterectomy, and can not have more children. Tom, however, is fertile, although he would need artificial insemination, according to a doctor. (but you know how wrong that can be sometimes) Him having a vasectomy is not an option, because we DO want to have a child, with a surrogate, in the next couple of years. As a matter of fact, we want one very badly, and have been saving the money for both the procedure and the surrogate (nearly $50,00) Which leads to the real issue..if he were to impregnate another woman. I don't know. It was something we had discussed. And at one time, when we were with the one and only SINGLE female we have been with, it was agreed between all of us that it would be an abortion. (a decision I had a hard time with, but I had to respect HER choice for her body) Tom ALWAYS uses condoms, religiously. And also uses spermicidal jelly with them. So the chances are pretty slim. We only full-swap with 2 other couples right now, who we know very well, and we have all agreed as to what would be done in the event of pregnacy (it would be the husband's..no questions asked) But again, EVERYONE uses at least 2 forms of protection, if not 3 or 4. But, what DID happen was that the single female (I posted about her a long time ago) DID e-mail me shortly after we ended the relationship claiming to be pregnant with Tom's child. She also was very cruel about it, reminding me I couldn't have children, and that she would "treasure the one thing I could never have...Tom's child" and also saying that Tom would now love her because she could give him a baby and I couldn't. So, even with her being so cruel, my first thought was for the baby. I called and made her an appointment with a doctor, and Tom and I immediately went to see a lawyer about his parental rights. I was fully prepared to accept this child if it was his. And I knew that it did not mean he had any feelings towards the girl at all. It turned out to all be a lie, she was not pregnat, only trying to cause problems. But it led to the two of us discussing this again with the clearer realization that it COULD happen, and that people may not always behave the way you expect them to, or the way they agreed to in the beginning. So, you really DON'T know what you will do until you are faced with it. You can be very careful, and like Julie, I agree there is much more to be careful of than pregnancy. And you can, and should, certainly discuss it, and try to really consider all possibilities. But you will never really know until it happens. Anyway, that's just my $0.02 worth. Layla
  2. Well, Tom has always been openly (with me anyway) bi-sexual. He had been with men before he was married, and after, before he met me. When we began dating, he was really turning that part of himself off, and trying to pretend it wasn't there. But, he is what he is, and that's fine with me. I wouldn't want him to try to be anything or anyone else. He actually hasn't been with another man in several years sexually. We swing with couples, so of course there have been other men around, but no bi activity. I would LOVE to see him with another man. We talk about it often, and just talking about it turns me on (AND him). But so far, the planets have not aligned just right. We are very open about both of our sexuality. We don't hide it or anything. But we also never would push it on anyone, or even ask for someone to "try bi" if they weren't already. Most of the couples we are with are straight. Again, some bi play with some of the women. I am not bi myself, but I can enjoy certain aspects of being with a woman, as long as there's a man nearby to take over. My friends and I have borrowed a term from this board and call it "Bi-Occasional" And none of the couples we play with have a problem with Tom being bi-sexual. Maybe because we don't hide it, and also because Tom makes it VERY clear he is not expecting anything from anybody, of any gender. No one does anything they don't want to do. Some of the guys are kind of what I would call maybe "bi-sensual" (I don't know) They will touch each other, rub each other's chests or backs, or lean against each other. They comment on each other's bodies, grab butts and stuff. Not locker room like, much more sexually. But no penis-touching, and no blow jobs. I think it's kinda funny. And strange. It's clear to me they could easily be with a man, and would enjoy it, and probably even think about and fantasize about it. But they have this invisible "penis line" they don't cross. We have placed one ad looking for a bi male or preferably a couple with a bi male, but we got so slammed with single guys saying they were bi-curious orally, and had never been with a man, but detailing all the ways they could please ME, that we gave up on it and decided, like everything else, if it's meant to happen, it will. If we meet someone, and get to know them, and the guy turns out to be Bi, great! We're not going out of our way, or changing our usual way of finding playmates.
  3. Okay, true confession time: Tom and I have only met people at the Club we go to, not on the Net. But a single Bi-Guy posted on the Club's message board, wanting a couple to show him around his first time. We answered, exchanged e-mails and he asked for a picture, and sent 2 G-rated of himself. We responded, and sent G-rated of ourselves. Then he asked for something "more revealing" and said he would respond with some of himself when he got his digital camera set up. I had one of Tom, slightly revealing (maybe a PG-13 rating) but none of me. .Also, he kept insisting...so Tom mentioned he may be just a pic collector. We had had someone send us a pic they saw on a professional porn website several months ago that looks remarkably like me...but is NOT me. So we sent him that. (yeah, I know, that was SO wrong of us) We haven't heard from him in weeks now, and he never came to the club on any of the dates we set up, so I guess he WAS just a pic collector. Oh, well! All he has is a pic from a website that's not even me! We decided then that we would not send anything but G-rated photos to anyone...if they want to see more, they can meet us in person. If not, oh well!
  4. I would have to agree with Julie. To me, you're still a swinger. Just single at the moment. And yeah, based on the attitude and posts I've read, you'd be more than welcome at the club we go to. I even think Tom would like you. (and BTW, considering my attitude towards single guys lately, that's quite a compliment)
  5. WOW!!! You and Tom must have been separated at birth! He doesn't like to cum in a woman's mouth, either. Prefers vaginal penetration for the actual climax!! I never asked him why, though...I wonder if it's the same reason.
  6. LOL...this reminds me of an episode of "Sex In The City" Samantha has a problem with a guy's "funky spunk" Okay, I don't usually admit this, but I don't swallow. NO lectures, please, I just can't do it. Tom prefers not to actually cum that way, so it works out well for us. Spicy food and onions? UGH! I'm glad I don't swallow, Tom LOVES spicy foods, and we put onions in everything!
  7. Yeah, I like doggie-style, too. But Tom can't do it for long, either...for a different reason. All that Tantra stuff goes right out the window in that position. he TOTALLY loses control! I LOVE that, though!
  8. WHAT?!?!?!? NO MERCY SEX?!?!?!? HOW insensitive! LOL (just kidding) (they can have all the mercy they need from Mary Palm and her 5 sisters!
  9. TNT, I know how you feel. It sounds like you handled it very well, though. As for you, cyberwife, do you ever get to Florida? I think your style of handling these guys would make QUITE an impact! We went again on Friday (single guy night) because we were begged to. What a mistake! 5 couples and about 20 or more single guys. (So WHAT!?!?! Each girl has to fuck 6 guys to make everyone happy---I DON'T THINK SO!) NOTHING happened in the public rooms at all that night, because every time someone got up, even to go to the bathroom or the buffet table, they were followed by a dozen guys, panting, waiting to see what they were going to do. And even begging them to go do something. Tom and I snuck off while another girl was doing a sexy dance that had most of the guys watching, and went into my FAVORITE room (the butterfly chair) We were just kissing, and still fully clothed, when about 8 guys entered the room ( a NO-NO) and 5 or 6 more outside the door watching. I told Tom (and he agreed) that this was WAY more of an audience than we wanted, and we got up to leave. The guys actually started booing us, saying "Come on, you didn't do anything" and "at least let us see your pussy" and "come on, baby, fuck him for us" It was disgusting. I have never been LESS in the mood since giving birth to my kids. (which DOES make you not want sex AT ALL for a while) EVERY couple either went in the private room, and had to wade through the guys listening at the door to get out, or just went home. All but one couple (who LIKES the single guys watching and touching) said they were NOT coming back on a Friday. Neither are we. Couples nights only from now on. If we find a bi-guy we want to play with, we'll get a room or bring him home. We're both SO OVER wanting a guy at all right now, anyway. It's sad, because there ARE some guys out there who are NOT creeps, and are respectful and polite, and into swinging for swinging. Not just to get laid. I guess I'm printing flyers! I have so many orders for them! And yes, I'll change "love muscle" to something else. Any suggestions?
  10. Yeah, we've had the same experience. On BOTH sides! It's hard to just go up and say "Hello" to someone without them thinking you want to jump them. And then, when someone approaches you, you're thinking the same thing. Sometimes, we just want to be friendly and chat for a while. Most of the time, we don't play at the club anyway, except with each other. It still does hurt your feelings when a couple you would like to get to know, and talk to SOCIALLY reject you because they think you want sex. As my hubby put it so well one night, now I know what it feels like to be a teenage boy!
  11. Thanks, Teresa. The Hostess at the club LOVED it, too. She's ordering flyers, too! I guess I really should print them up, huh? We should make each single guy receive a copy before entering the club, and sign a statement that he read it, understood it, and received a copy. Kind of like the "Miranda" warning. We could call it the "Layla" warning...LOL
  12. I TOTALLY can relate to this! I am thinking of having the following statements printed on a flyer to hand to any guy who approaches me: Just because I smile and say hello, does NOT mean "take me, take me, take me! I want your hot love muscle right now!" When I say "No, thank you" in front of my husband, DO NOT assume I am then going to jump you and f#*k your brains out the minute hubby leaves the general vicinity! NO MEANS NO!!!! On a date, at a dance club, at the grocery store, at a party, OR in a swinger's club! Just because I may occasionally play with someone besides my husband SURE AS HELL does not mean I WANT TO PLAY WITH YOU! My body is MINE! DO NOT touch it unless I tell you it's okay to. If, after both my husband and I getting to know you, we decide to include you in OUR sexual play activities, REALIZE this is an extremely RARE PRIVILEGE! And treat it as such! Show us BOTH respect! If we DO decide to play with you, and you do not treat it as the privilege it is, but instead talk about it to everyone else you know, TRUST ME, we will be your LAST swinging partners. No one likes guys who kiss & tell! If, on the other hand, we decide to play with you, and you are every bit as mature and respectful as we hope, and we all have a wonderful time, you can probably look forward to many more good times ahead! So, what do you think? Anyone want to order flyers? (boy, it felt good to write that)
  13. Very GOOD Point! Thanks for your permission to share this. I will, of course, refer people to this site to read the entire thread. But our meetings are at the Club, so a printed version will work better for that. And BTW, how many other clubs have a Member's Committee? It's something new we just started, but it's working VERY well!
  14. Thanks, Julie. May I have your permission to print this and show it to the other members on our "member's committee"? I think these are great ideas. Yes, sometimes the owners of these clubs let in these single guys just to make money, but they need to realize that by driving away COUPLES, who are REPEAT customers, they are actually LOSING money in the long run. How often and for how long are single guys going to pay to get in when there are no couples or single women at the club anymore? At that point, they're paying $100 a shot to watch porn movies and jerk off! I think a hooker WOULD be cheaper! P.S. we're going back to Saturdays, couples and females only. My MFM fantasy will have to happen another way.
  15. These are some great ideas! I especially like the idea of limiting the number of single men allowed in per night. We've been, unofficially, among the members, "sponsoring" single men. When they post on the board, a couple responds and agrees to meet them and show them around. They're given a tour of the club, and told the rules, and the do's and dont's by a couple who have been members for a while. These "sponsored" guys have NEVER been a problem! Almost all of them have become long-term members and are very into the lifestyle. And yes, the few "jerks" are weeded out quickly this way. However, this relies on the male making initial contact via the web board. The main "problem" guys have been ones that just show up at the club, are given a "quickie" tour by a staff member, and left to wander around. I have noticed that the majority of these guys are very young, in their early 20's. Maybe it's a maturity thing. I'm going to propose the idea of an orientation at our next member's meeting. And the idea of an escort. I think that will help a lot. Thanks everyone for all the great suggestions, and for helping me to take a negative experience and use it to make a positive impact!
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