delectableduo

Great replies all... and sorry for the negativity, we just had so many people misunderstand what we were saying all those months ago about the way we look-(and offline nasty emails about it). I'll stop being an ass :-), it's really not in my nature. That said, we can't help but feel some negativity towards our experience in this lifestyle. It would really help if, sex aside, people were actually maybe cool to us- That would be great. It hasn't been our experience at all- not by a long shot. It started on "outing" one a year ago (which I think I posted in detail here..) and that kind of thing has continued. So, given all the hostility aimed at us, we put up are "asshole" defense. We'll stop. Anyway, enough said, we are doing some soul searching and careful self-examining to re-think our approach to this-- some of you experienced swingers should think about starting a mentoring program for us newbies :-) It would have been great to learn the ropes a bit better before jumping in...

jeez.. we missed a lot of replies during our vacation from this business- to clarify the "looks" business- and hopefully for the final time- we are not shallow! The original post talked about us not being hounds because we wanted to focus on the other stuff. In other words, we didnt' want to ask: "This whole scene has sucked for us..what's the problem?" and have people respond "Well, you're ugly." OK? We're not. We are also about the coolest, easiest going, non-judgemental, non-conceited folk you'd ever meet. Seeing the flame replies to queries about our situation reinforces our stance about the unfriendly, unaccepting nature of swingers. "Mrs. Indy"- your replies not only indicated that you did not actually read the thread, but that you are incredibly eager to pounce on people without provocation. If you want to suggest that our attitude is the problem- sweetie, you might want to take a good, long look at your post. Anyway, still committed to it all... DD

Well, it's been close to a full year now since we went down this crazy path. Status? Still no fun. Hubby took a few months off from the whole business out of frustration, but wifey talked him into getting involved again about a month ago. Since then we've been hitting meet n greets (where we run into the same folks we had the bad experiences with a year ago- now they are fully entrenched in the clique and we kind of stand around uncomfortably while they nod and talk) and we've been hitting the sites (SLS, Swappernet, etc)- where we have yet to make an actual real-life connection with any couple beyond the computer. The last time we had an actual "couple date" was close to 8 months ago. Since then we've had a ton of email that all added up to nothing. Oh, except for single guys- they're falling out of the trees. Too bad we don't really care..lol. We are committed to enduring the nonsense to explore this lifestyle, but frankly we are kind of beyond hope. We would appreciate any feedback from experienced folks about what we might be doing wrong or how we could have a better experience (short of moving). We are both absolutely befuddled that we both endure the solo attentions of the opposite sex every time we leave the house, but have proven ourselves the world's biggest losers at every event that involves swinging. This is one frustrating mess, you guys. Here you have a couple of former "newbies" who were eager to get involved, meet people, be cool, have fun- and we are frustrated beyond any measure of belief. Swingers are definitely not the "open/friendly/cool/welcoming" people reported by common myth , at least not in the Philly area.... we've found cliquish, shallow, stand-offish, judgemental, catty people. And, hey, we do try. We are as friendly as friendly can be.. we work the room, chat, smile, and eventually we kind of stand around and talk to each other about what a drag the whole business is. We're out of ideas... We'd welcome any feedback/comments/etc..

Thanks for everyone's cry of "hang in there" but as of now.. still nothing, nada, nichts, nyet... This is a frustrating and aggravating "adventure"...

Re: Sensuality's post: That situation has happened on both sides of the fence for us, if hubby likes our wifey too much, their wifey gets pissed. If their wifey likes our hubby too much.. big problem. If their hubby likes our hubby.. everyone freaks... LOL. Anyway, it's not easy getting four people together- so we're focusing on the impossible 3.

Ha HA! Our angst is NOT uncommon! Sorry that that is the case! If you look around the web this is sold as an "inviting and open" lifestyle.. what a myth... Anyway, sorry to hear the story of other couples in our dilemma. Sadly, there is no ready solution. We quit for a while, but we're back- just with a different attitude. Every couple needs to learn their niche, their way of playing, and we're figuring ours out. Good luck to you respondents!

Julie--yeah thank, the problem was that we had tried the registration link a few times and the code changed every time...duh. We're all set now. Thanks for the replies, also all....

Wow..great replies all! First: on our looks- we are FAR from perfect folks, but we do get attention, and that's the only point we wanted to make. It would be easy for someone to read our experiences and say: "well, you're just fugly!" lol.. we know that's not true, but we are definitely NOT wrapped up in looks. We aren't superficial, and we work out for US- not to impress anyone. We also aren't focused on physical appearance in our "pals"- we are WAY more into attitude than anything else. We are about the least shallow people you'd ever meet, sorry if our post implied otherwise. Just wanted to get the "fugly" business out of the way and rant a little. :-) Wifey here has stretch marks too... by the way. We call them the true badges of womanhood. Re: expensive, overblown meetings: AMEN! After the FIRST one we swore it wouldn't happen again, and then we forgot our own rule. We thought it was a good bet based on the "diner" episode though, and we had fun despite everything else. The other comments from you all are great! We actually talk a lot and think about things and have come to some of the same conclusions- there's bound to be some hit and miss, that's life. We just got frustrated over the miss after miss after miss. Don't worry for us, our attitudes and resolve are back--just a little late night rant there yesterday. Felt good to get it out there, now we feel like we've gotten that off our chest. We took a long break, and now we're easing back into this- with a whole different mindset. We hope our rant at least helps some other newbies set their expectations better, and learn from our mistakes. Re: clubs- we thought about that, but we're not sure that's our thing either. We want a little bit more intimate involvement with our "pals"- in fact- the only element missing from our experiences was the sex part..lol. We'd prefer to meet 1:1, hang out, have fun, and then close the deal if it's right for everyone. One of these days it will be! Thanks for the rant space! DelectableDuo --> if a board admin is reading this, we're just not getting validation emails, which is a shame because this looks like a great place to hang out. We'll keep trying.

We have pics to back up everything we say about us in this tale of woe. Enjoy the travails of the world's worst swingers!!! *** We have been happily and orgasmically married for 15 years. She is a svelte and slender 5’10, red headed knockout, he is a Brendan Frasier look-alike with 7”. We both stop traffic when we go out in public, and we have a game we play with each other about comparing scores after any trip out of the house. We’ve both had ample opportunity for extra-marital fun over the years, but neither of us has ever done anything. We are best friends. Our sex life is phenomenal, or it WAS, read on- anyway, if there were a sex event in the Olympics we’d bring home the gold. We usually go (on a normal, “hot” night) for six or seven hours…exploring every desire and fantasy… both achieving multiple orgasms. We do it all, ladies and gents, and it rules…. So, as “advanced” sexual beings, we started talking about swinging. We thought it would be hot and bring a new dimension to our already fantastic sex life. We read everything we could on the topic: about how swingers are actually well grounded, sexually open and honest people who don’t view marriage as a state of “property”, and all the other swinger myths… we talked and talked, and talked for two years getting ready for it.. then finally decided we were ready, worked out for six months.. and took the plunge! Only to meet with the most absolute, complete rejection and game playing the world has ever seen. We did everything- the meet ‘n greets, the websites. Here’s what we got: We went on a date with one couple to the most expensive and trendiest restaurant in the city- spent gobs of cash. They got a hotel room right by the restaurant. We talked and talked and talked until 4:30am when the “she” on their side very quickly and rudely said good night. Later, we saw pictures of her on the web doing everything to everybody. Guess we didn’t qualify: though we had a good time as “pals” chatting and hanging out… On to date two: wifey on our side is completely crunched on by wifey on their side. We meet in a diner, and both wifeys end up in the back of a car making out. (if bi-ness offends you, move on, it’s one of our primary goals)—hubby on our side is lit up like a firework. We make a date… For a trendy, expensive restaurant in another city… when we arrive we have a cordial and friendly dinner- though the heat from the last encounter is obviously not there. We then hang out as pals for a long while, until “she” on their side ditches us at a bar. “She” has to literally drag “he” out of there, who apologizes profusely. We are shocked. So we move on to date three.. another couple, very nice folks- though physically on the marginal side for us. We’re not shallow though, and for us attitude means a lot more than “hotness”. We went out with these guys, had a great time, and were rejected BY THEM. “No Click”… At this point we, who continue to both get hit on relentlessly apart, start spending a lot of time in front of the mirror wondering what the hell is going on. So, after all the work-up, prep, nervousness, and expense.. we have fucked NO ONE. What has it done to our sex lives? Spiced it up? NO. Now sex is a huge issue. We both have hang-ups we’ve never had… we both have desire problems… we both have deflated self-esteems. So, a word of caution to those going down this path: it’s a roll of the dice. For us, two years of talk and six months of preparation led to the complete loss of our fantasies, the loss of this end of our drive, and a disillusioned and confused pair who are simply trying to put their sex lives back together. Signed: The World’s Worst Swingers