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CowboynVixen

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About CowboynVixen

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    Contributor

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Western Washington
  • Interests
    High Tech / Leather craft, see web site.
  • Occupation
    IT / HairStylest, Leather artist

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  1. You have to understand the difference between swinging and cheating too. If you were to begin cheating, you would no longer be a swinger and you would have a huge hard time trying to get with swingers. There would be red flags up all over you. We wish you all the best in your decisions going forward.
  2. You may run into the term vertical and horizontal when describing a friend as well. Of course if you use your imagination you can guess which is a horizontal or vertical friend.
  3. As we mentioned in a thread a while ago, we have had a great experience with a couple younger than our kids. Once we got over the age thing, we began to look for maturity not numbers. To be honest, the young couple were mature enough to ease us over the age barrier, not the other way around. A lesson learned.
  4. Well said group, The only thing I have to ad is ont eh subject of singles. We do play wish some select singles, but when we look back to ditermine why we feel differently than the last post, it is because they were in the lifestyle prior to being single, and like the rest of the human race their circumstances changed. We look back in particular at two women and one man who have joined our fun, and the situations have been similar. 1) They were swingers before single 2) They know and respect our marriage and connecion. 3) They were great friends before lovers. This made all the difference.
  5. mmmmm yikes, This last post is just as scary as the position you have jumped into. The truth is, damage has been done. The fact is, you have a few issues to deal with now, and you and your husband are going to have to deal with some of them. 1) She played with someone else when her marriage was rocky. She has to address this and it is not going to go away or heal itself. 2) She cheated. no sugar coating. Again, she and her husband are going to have to deal with it. Now or when it really blows up. 3) Your kids and thier kids may soon have a wall between them. four of you are going to have to sift through that one. 4) You cannot go back in that garden of eden unless one of two things changes. She leaves the marriage, or he joins once repairs have been successful. 5) You mention your guilt. You and your husband are going to have to deal with that. You and only you two will be able to come to terms there. This group cannot answer that part for you, only offer their experience. You have gotten a lot of good advice from this thread, but your first priority is going to have to be you, your mate, and your family. The biggest share of the burden will have to be with your friend and her family. Take what you can salvage from your experience. As you say, it was wonderful and it will be a memory that can make you warm for years, but learn from it. Back slowly away from the shakey relationships because it will be you who will be branded by the person left out of the wonderful memory. We have a rule in our life, where when we hit a brick wall, we dont turn 180 degrees, we only turn 90. keep moving and find your new freedom, dont turn and run. Hope this helps.
  6. We panicked at the thought of running in to family and acquaintances when we first started swinging too, but finally meeting some eased all the issue. We met my wife's female cousin in a unisex change room in a club in Washington. We were both hundreds of miles from family. There was a lot of nervous giggling through dinner, then we went on with life knowing that our secret would automatically be kept from conservative family members as we came to the conclusion we were all in the same boat. Who was going to go back home and tell the family who we found in a swingers club? We still giggle when we meet, and agree, family reunions will never be the same. We have also run into professional acquaintances and the only result was a deeper connection with that person, whether we were a mach or not. We have heard horror stories of workplace outs, but only where there was improper workplace connections already in play, such as a husband and wife introducing one of his subordinates to the lifestyle, then having her go sideways at work and accuse him of sexual impropriety at work. Unfortunately, this does not need to be proven to cost a job.
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