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robnbarb

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robnbarb last won the day on November 30 2017

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About robnbarb

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    100 Posts Club
  • Birthday 09/23/1971

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  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Kentucky
  • Interests
    Music, Movies, Life stuff

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  1. I am prodistant, I have turned against it many times due to stupid fundementalists, but then I desided not to let them have that much power over me (and to continue denying myself). However, I also realize what works for me, doesn't for everyone, and as such I try to keep an open mind that I could be way off. However I also think that as long as you lead a decent life, don't hurt people, and not be selfish, that the eternal reward waits for you, reguardless of preference of worship.
  2. 5' 11" and 190 is almost exactly my wife's size (she is 5' 10"). Honeslty I think she is a major hotty. With that in mind I think My views of this issue are clear.
  3. OK overall I hate phil, but I will say some good things about him. First, sometimes people need someone to get in thier face. A good example is the video game guy earlier, I know my grandparents gave me a quick kick in the paints back in the day, and I thank them for it now (back then I thought they were jerks though). However, Phil doesn't approch that from a careing standpoint. He does it from a judgemental one, and while some people will argue there is no difference, there most definatly is. My Uncle had an drinking and gambling problem for instance. He needed people outside the family to come to him and tell him what a jerk he was for him to see it (which one of his friends did rather harshly). But he came at him from a point that "your family is suffering due to you, you are the one who can change that. Stop being a jerk" Rather than "you are a jerk for keeping these problems going." Not much difference I realize, but after a bit of reflection, I think a world of difference can be seen. Therapy itself isn't a bad thing, on the therepist, and Phil isn't one. Nevermind he isn't a good one, he just isn't one at all. He is "I am great, you are tiny." not the way to build a person up, which is the way a therapist is supposed to do.
  4. I would have to say, in the wrong people, yes swinging is a gateway activity. I have heard of people who only want the "extra sex" with other people rather than sharing joy with thier partner. The biggest sign of this, IMO, is those who so hardcore refuse to let thier partner share with anyone else, but they can have as many partners as they like. this is probably most prevelant in FMF encounters, but not nessessarly. This activity is what the couple makes of it IMO, and you have to find couples/singles that share your goals as well (no matter what they maybe). To be perfectly honest a dialouge of people from different approches is a very healthy thing and allows for growth. Back to topic, sorry. Cheaters-Some drag thier SO's kicking and screaming into the lifestyle just cause they want the new partners. Reasons would be as varried as why couples who are stable swing. But I would imagine this never really works out, since most of the time the other will just walk away and the first one is left to figure things out. From here I think comes the most common form of cheating male/female. Also the "easy target" is another thought. "The wives are sluts." is what I think the thoughts of many of these men are (Note: I say men since it seems those are more of the topic, at least they are more vocal). They thinkif they just approch as a single guy, they are in like flynn (to coin a phase). However, the slightest resistance reveals their pushyness and things backfire. They have no clue why since the girl should be easier than a hooker (and he don't got to pay. Also I think this is what less sensitive single males think as well). A lack of respect is the core of all this IMO. Its frustrating and infuriating to deal with, but easy to spot. If I have repeated anything I appologize, I only read parts of the thread since I am in a hurry to work.
  5. This is a tad presumptuos on my part, but I would assume the single male has never found another single woman that was to his likeing. Quite naturally there are those who are just jerks, but that is not all single males. Also think about how many married men have the MFM fantasy. I am sure the Single males have it too. There are plenty of jerk single males, as well as jerk couples. the point is that we don't question why the couples want extra partners, so I have never gotten this idea of questioning single males as well.
  6. Hellboy-your story sounds like mine from about 4 years ago. One thing you should know that I learned from some friends after they disccused the lifestyle is that there is a new level of trust after a conversation like this. Basicly you have shared something you would normaly keep way down in your soul. How can you not trust someone after that.
  7. I have to agree with most that it comes down to maturity not actuall age. As such it would depend on your behavior, not the fact that your birthday was under a certain amount of years. And there is the "younger man" fantasy side as well so..... ANyway good luck. Noticed you were on the other side of the state from us so hope to run into you some time.
  8. 500 and I wasn't even trying. Wonder what the wife got.
  9. Me and the wife discussed this yesterday and thought it would make an interesting topic. Basically it came up because she will not swallow during oral, she hates the taste. I really don't have a problem with this but I thought "what if we find another couple and she wants to swallow?" My wife was unsure what to say; on the one hand she thought why not since she wouldn't, but on the other hand she felt a tinge of jealousy. As we talked, we also talked about more things she would not do. While there isn't much she will not do with me, she does have limits (i.e. anal sex). So we got to thinking about how other couples may handle this. So basically is there anything you will not do but would allow someone else to do to your mate?
  10. My town has just under 8,000 people so I understand what you mean. I think what Julie said is right, they would tell on themselves as well. even in a town this small there are still privite pockets to find if you look. Also there is the major denyablity clause that you can use. Perhapes the person in question just has a personal grudge you can exploit. I know that sounds mean and manipulative, but compaired to ruining you life it think it becomes somewhat nessessary.
  11. Funny me and the wife were discussing about how she was approached by a black man when she was single (long before meeting me). She refused not because he was black, but because he kept making a big deal about he was black. the kind of "I'm black so I am a big man down there" kind of attitude that she finds to be a major turn off. Basically she felt he was being a jerk and disrespecting her cause she was white. I am not sure how common of an occurrence that is, but I have heard it from White female friends before as well, not all, but some. SO with that I would say that race would only become an issue if someone else made it one.
  12. I gotta say, the major step for me and my wife in all of this was proising to take things step by step rather than jumping into anything. We have yet to actually swing mostly because we are taking time (and advice from people on the board) about what to look for and how to approch people. I would suggest slowing down a bit and talking about both your feelings. Why she seems to be in such a rush and why you are not. That is the first step I think to successful swinging. After that it might be ok to met the couple in question, but for a no sex kind of date, just get to know them. That might help as well, but then again I am still a newbie lol
  13. My wife and I are both on our second marrages. She was married to a man that just did not appreaceate her at all and was only conserned for himself (that is the mild version of the story). My ex had this sort of fantasy idea of what marrage was, that it was happily ever after or something. Meanwhile she also wanted to have her bi-romps but keep me out of it. From what I have been able to gather, in 6 months she had 3 affairs, one with another woman and 2 with other men, and never was I apporched about swinging or anything like that. In fact i doubt I would have with her since I honestly deep down never trusted her, I always felt like she was up to something but put it away since I could find no evidence for it. Anyway the communication between us broke down to nothing until one day she spouts out "I don't love you anymore." no reason or ryhme or anything. I soon discovered she was dateing another man almost the day after she left. There is more, but it is a massive quagmire I just toss my hands up at most times and wonder why I married her to begin with.
  14. I am still to new to know what most of our mistakes are, but I wanted to add We have changed our profile 7 times now.
  15. I think I have an answer for this. My wife is Bi-curious but not sure she wants to experment with that. That is exactly what we tell people. Her thoughts are-The rumor is Women should know what to do with oral, much better than men, note SHOULD. However to recieve she feels she must give, and she is not prepared to do that. I think what it is is that there are alot of women wondering the same, but not being as straight up about it. Just a thought.
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