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Naughtycool

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About Naughtycool

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 07/23/1954

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    couple
  • Location
    Mansfield, Ohio
  • Interests
    Boating
  • Occupation
    Sales

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    Naughtycool

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  1. Alura- I agree- priority on the road is sales! MN Tom - and those aren't the only lies I've caught her in since this began! Like "no - I only text him!". Phone record proof! Or - he hasn't said anything sexual to me- I did see a text from him before she deleted it saying he would like to see her undress blown up around her shoulders! Sound pretty sexual to me!
  2. Ok folks -- from the beginning- we have been in for about 7a yrs. and now pretty much out- of the lifestyle for about a year and a half now. She has recently become VERY friendly with a social acquaintance from our marina- VERY fast-lots of texts! Like 600 in 25 days -she took a day off early to go up early for the weekend - which is something she hasn't done in 9 yrs. of boating- naturally she informed me later after her decision to go that Mr. SeaRay was too! "Well go to dinner with him" I told her. "Well I might do McDonalds"- she said. I knew that was crap. It was fine with me cause I know his wife too! No she wasn't there I knew, but had no real concern. She called me from our boat after dinner and I said ifwith you want to still visit with him go ahead. I still had no concern. The next day I asked what time she got back--- 1 AM -she said. Hmmmm - you after I confronted her about that and 600+ texts - she denied any wrongdoing. Ok fine -- let's move forward I say! And so--- We come to a week after I confronted her and she tells me "you should have sex when you're out on the road selling" - that's the scoop!
  3. Long story short -was active in lifestyle for 7 yrs. - semi active last 4. Said would be ok - for me as long as no relationships and I tell her. She says its ok based on last time she partied outside (with a lifestyle member) over 6 yrs. ago because then we would be even! But she would not tell me if she did!?! Wondering if her NEW (non-sexual she says) relationship is actually the impetus for this and is her way of telling me that she wants an open marriage- WITHOUT setting ground rules and then she can do what she wants without impunity! She broke all the ground rules we ever set anyway! All comments welcome! Thanks!
  4. Annette- Thank you so much for your post- My best friend had said the same thing in that it amounts to abuse- funny thing- This past weekend we spent less time with each other than we normally do (as I am on the road for my job) and did have a wonderful Friday evening when I got home- for the most part- however-another shared weekend with non-lifestyle friends and a football game- by Sunday evening- she had gotten into a mood over my son(stuff he did at home and didn't take care of) and of course- that was my fault, too- (Another friend of mine told me that its always OUR fault!) And while she was going off on my son she came up with this- "I am having un-met needs!" -WWWhhhaaaa!!?!?!?! I almost burst out laughing- but- didn't - promptly turned the tv(Desperate Housewives!) off and said- Well then I'd like to find out what needs of yours are un-met, because-well- you know - I have some un-met needs, too! So- tell me, what you need- And so it turns out that she is tired of being home alone and handling everything with the house and my sons-(only one at home a senior and the other 20 min. away in a dorm at the college she works at)- and that we don't talk anymore either-and she's frustrated about this, and that, and the other thing, too- Ok- fine- My greatest un-met need stems from when you had your "friendship" with your single friend and its not the fact that you partied with him- but were in fact making LOVE with him- and ever since then, I have not detected any passion or desire from you for me-AND... every weekend since spring I have asked you when are we going to spend a weekend by ourselves, BUT- since we were boating we HAD to spend time with our boater friends EVERY weekend and since the boat has been put away- we have had something to do every weekend STILL with our boater friends and when I want to do something- YOU have something else for us to do with somebody! NOT spend time together! So you want to solve this little problem of your needs not being met? I have something we can do to meet them!-- Naturally she says "what?" and I tell her about this website called http://www.marriagebuilders.com and that there is an emotional needs questionnaire that we can both fill out and actually work on this marriage and not look at problems as relationship ending issues but bumps in the road to go over together- Dammed if she didn't listen and as I am away during the week- we are both working on the questionnaire to read to each other when I get home this weekend. AND- I have started to send her e-cards from kinkycards.com and SHE is sending replies back to me! Hmmmmm! On top of that our friend called (the one she had dinner with that started this situation) and wants to get together again with her- and she originally said she would as she was telling me about it beforehand (which I did ask her to do), and as of today- told me that she would rather not this time- maybe another!?!!! HHHmmmm again!!! On top of that- the morning that I left for work this week she said that meeting my needs would be easy- and to which I replied-"then that will make meeting your needs a lot easier-- Go figure- So I love her- she loves me- neither of us want to go anywhere down the road without each other - and we are starting to work on our marriage- babystep by babystep is better than going backward- So again- thank you for sharing the wisdom you learned in your past experiences with your ex and I assure you I will NOT be abused and live with less than all the passion I deserve! Its responses such as yours that help keep a persons resolve, AND taking the steps required to do so. Naughtycool
  5. No - in fact her molestation is buried very deep and was only brought up once- cartainly not going to rationalize or allow it as a reason- I'm just aware of it as a very real factor-
  6. Ok folks- whole story- eh- no prob- been in the lifestyle as I said for 9 years. Mostly clubs and home parties for many years and went average twice a month--then bought a boat- thereby ending any warm weather parties and continued after pull-out- Three summers ago- naturally stopped for the summer and then in the fall went back to lifestyle events- First month Oct/03 my wife partied with a single guy she had been with before and every monthly party after that until the next June (into boating season now!)Around this time-actually a couple months before I had mentioned to her that it was time to cool her jets and party with soembody else once in a while- Didn't go over real well at the timebut we did slow down on attendance and did spend some great time together on the boat- at the end of last boating season fuck buddy came along for a weekend cruise and we all three partied together. Then went to our playpens on a monthly basis but fuck buddy didn't show much until last dec./04 party and at that paty- they did not get together- wasn't a few weeks late and either one of them contacted each other again. We went to several more parties until this past April and haven't been back since- yes- I figured we needed the break especially after Mr. Fuck Buddy and she got too close and wsan't until this past incident that ANYTHING has happened.. So--- Yes- we have partied singly before but always in the context of a club or party- never out in the straight world- and so when our friend- (her party friend from 6 years ago, and mine from recent business dealings) called and said he would be in town and would like to take us to dinner- "Sure let's go"- as I reiterated before- At the time found I had to make a later appt. than normal in my job- I immediately called her and him and said I would catch up with them later- Hers lwas the last phone call and that was when she asked me- " What if he wants to hae sex with me" and to which I replied- " whats the matter- you're a big girl; can't you say no?" And she said yes- Done deal in my mind! Not to worry! That was at 4 pm.- at 6 pm she called and told me something about our son and is when she added- "there is something in the fridge for you and I don't know when I'll be home"- HHHMMMmmmmm?????? So wen to my appt. and called her at the restaurant at 7:37-and said not quite sure when I will be finished here but should be home by 9-ish- Ok she says and told me abouyt something else in the freezer- WWWHaaaat???? I think when I hang up? Finish my business withing the next ten min. and sure enought arrive home at 9:10 thinking I will hit the bathroom and change and go to the restaurant and have a drink with them- BUT!!!! Noticed something awry with the batroom wastebasket which was overful- (not my wife!) and thought HHhmm- better empty that so that the cats don't go digging for stuff- and lo nd behold-- I find a fresh empty douche bottle----WAIT A MINUTE!!! I think- she had to be thinking about having sex with him before she left-(picked her up at 7) as certainly th 6 o'clock phone call with -stuff in the fridge and don't know when I'll be home began!!!! RING RING- 9:15 - Yes I'm home -and are you finished with dinner-- yes- you're in the bathroom?- okay- have a good time- yes- should be home soon?- don't know- okay(?)--- go ahead and eat and I will see you later- Okay-- love you- love you- bye-click- RING RING- 9:53- Hello? Hi- in the bathroom again - boy am I getting drunk- Great- Don't know when I'll be home- Okay- don't be too much later- you do have to wrok tomorrow- Oky- Okay Love you- Love you- click 12:05 - He drops her off - she is surprised to see that I am still up- she staggers a little walking in- "you still up?- " of course, rested a little" Where are you coming from? "His hotel-- "the lobby?" "No, his room" - "And what did you do?" "Looked at pictures and had sex"- So - full story- after that she says -"are you jealous?" "No - just a little confused as to what you had planned the whole evening long without telling me"- "What do you mean"- I mean- if you weren't planning on having sex with him in the first place- why did you douche? "You found that?" "Yes-" " I was going to hide that, too" she said- AGAIN- since she did it behind my back and kept leading me away from meeting them and now says- party with whomever- - - Is she just feeling guilty that I found out her intentions after our initial 4 pm. conversation, and just said to go party to get a reaction - or just talking out of her ass? Naughtycool p.s. as for Mrs. NC's comments here- she wouldn't even admit that the previous fuck buddy and she got in over theri heads- that she said was all my fault!!!! Because of the way I acted with him around her- Oh well- she's not used to a husband acting like a husband that wants to keep his wife!
  7. This is the one that gives me the greatest advice and I feel hits the nail on the head-in whats happended and where I need to go- Naughtycool
  8. I agree that the way his wife went about it was deceptive (at least by his telling of the evening's events) and not in the best interest of them as a couple. Had Mrs. LC said "I'm not going to" and then left me alone with "stuff in the freezer," I'd have been hurt--but not because she had sex with our friend, just how she'd gone about it. One thing I'm not clear on is whether, if she'd asked beforehand, it would have been OK with you, naughtycool, if your wife had slept with this friend. If your answer is "yes," then I can understand where you're coming from. But if it's "no," then you've validated my confusion. So- these two quotes above really sum it up here-another phone call in the midst of dinner reiterated the same reply of "stuff in the freezer and "don't know when I'll be home"- at the time I had just returned home- and was the time I said I would probably be home- and so it wasn't 4 hours home waiting- it was only 3(!) -and ANOTHER phone call from her (2nd one also from the bathroom!) relayed that "I'm getting drunk" and again, "don't know when I'll be home"- so from that point only 2 hours (and 15 min!)passed from that last call until he dropped her off- AS for previous behavior of this sort- no--and yes- the original ground rules set- were continually stretched and shattered a long while ago- it's the only questionable behavior since the previous episode with that single guy and that has been over for a year- And most curiously here- my question from my original post as to whether she is serious or just blowing it out of her ass has not been answered- I have handled all lifestyle faux pas by my wife so that she changes what her behavior is rather than me imposing my will- basic consideration- yes -that and more honesty from here about her desires would be good- I just have to show her somehow that it is in her best interest for US that she open up more to me- thanks to you all for your input up to this point - some are damn enlightening- Naughtycool
  9. Thanks for all the input- Yes we have swung separately before, together, threesomes, etc., etc.- but things changed greatly with the semi-exclusive single fuck buddy she had and since then I have taken all the steps necessary to end situations like that- too bad she still won't come clean - are you all ready? Says tht is was my fault for the way I reacted- NORMALLY - like any husband would that see's some single guy try to dominate time with his wife!!! At any rate- the lastest episode does show me that she is more interested in taking care of herself when it comes to sex- apparently in -or out of the lifestyle boundaries-- We have greatly slowed down our attndance at events because YES! we do need to spend time re-creating the passion for each other that we had at the beginning of our lifesstyle adventures- Too many unanswered communications about what she really wants- I told her that since by her actions it is obvious that she still wants to play in the lifestyle- but by her not having any commitment to re-set ground rules ( that she orignally wanted and then broke) forces me to not participate in the lifestyle- I agree- no commitment to communication or consideration and no rules- makes me a non-player- thanks to all for your input- Naughtycool
  10. Well folks - long time since last post- 9 years in lifestyle - and still learning! Previously my wife had a semi- exclusive single party partner that got WAY too close for WAY too long- finally ended about a year ago due to the hassle- Lst week an old friend and party partner of hers clled to take us to dinner- ended up that I had a late appt. and couldn't make it till later- talked to her and she said- "what if he wants to hve sex with me? to which I replied- is that such a stretch- what's the matter, aren't you a big girl? Can't you say no and she said -yes- no problem- call you later- Two hours later she calls and says - don't know when I will be home there is stuff in the freeezer for you- Ok- HMMMM Two more phone calls from her (at the restaurant) I am at home and long story short- over 2 hours more go by before she brings him home and SURPRISE! they had sex! Not pised about the sex but the fact that I wasn't informed before she got down to the deed! Basically behind my back! We discussed it told her I was hurt becasue she did not let me know and we planned on the next Sat. to have a date night at home alone- which ended up being changed by her- the converstation that took place that night was that basically there are no more rules in (or out)the lifestyle and that I could do whatever I wanted with whomever and she actually challenged me to find a sex partner- So opinions please- I she sincere or just talking out her ass because she might have some guilt? Quite confused Naughtycool
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