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4sum

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About 4sum

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  • Relationship Status
    Fourple
  • Location
    CT
  1. I think it isn't uncommon for folks just starting out to overstep the comfort level of one or the other spouse, even when everything's spelled out and agreed to up front. In our very first experience we had a similar situation only it was the other female who freaked and it wasn't afterwards, it was during. On the plus side, we (as the other couple) were clued in to what was going on, and it allowed us to offer to make accomodations. You might consider doing the same. It's difficult to take what you might consider a step backwards, but it may also provide your husband with an opportunity to deal with his emotions in a positive way. His reaction was neither wrong nor uncommon, and is something I think we have all dealt with to some degree or another at times. The impulse when your starting out is to try everything right away. Not always the best idea because it makes it tough to sort through what you like and don't like. Kind of like sexual gluttony. By involving the other couple in the process (assuming there's a mutual attraction), it doesn't have to be a yes/no thing, but one where you can limit and enjoy a level of involvement that is mutually agreeable, and my guess would be he's not always going to get that proprietary gut shot if pleasing you and the other wife becomes more of a team effort.
  2. I think you need to be more specific with the couples you're going to play with, before things get to the taking off the clothes stage. For us, we enjoy swapping in both same and separate rooms, 3 sums, and the beloved tangle of 4, as well as occasional 1 on 1 "dates" within the same 4 partners. I think we'd have to say that the most intense times are with all four of us together, but it isn't practical to do that every time. There are times one or more of us will want to pair off...and so we do. We're pretty kinky at heart and I think that many who want to swap are just looking for a grade above vanilla sex with a different partner. That's why for you it may be important to spell out what you want to do beforehand with the other couple. It may scare quite a few couples away, but you don't seem to be enjoying those folks anyway. The other thing is the club option.
  3. Back seat of a Ford Falcon here (couldn't afford the Mustang)! I'm sensing a trend here....Maybe Ford ought to work this into an advertising campaign!!!!
  4. She was working in an art gallery on campus. My roomates and I stopped by one day on the way up to dinner to check her out. I checked her out. Still haven't returned her. That was over 20 years ago. Imagine the late fees if I ever brought her back!!!! Shhhhh.....don't tell anyone!
  5. Lori, That's essentially it. We've done "Dates" with our friends spouses as well as Threesomes. If you have an excellent degree of trust, it can be the absolute best. I can't see wanting a steady diet of it, but as a once in a while thing it's an excellent change of pace. There was a particular night when K had a date with our friends hubby. I put the kids to bed and stayed up till around 11 or so and finally went to bed myself. She came in around 12:30 absolutely dripping sex, and climbed into bed with me. I yawned and asked her if she'd had fun. She wrapped her arms around me, gave me an evil grin and moaned "I've been a bad girl". I was off to the races! We had some of the most mind bending sex of our lives and ended up getting both hours sleep that night. She still blushes when she thinks about it. Point is, it was fun not knowing what was going on, but it wouldn't have been possible without that all around trust (her, him, his wife, and myself).
  6. TeamSoBe I suppose what it comes down to in the end is personal integrity. I think we've all been around long enough to realize that honesty has little to do with marital status. I think the fundamental issue here is that when we play with someone, it is a reasonable expectation on our part that the other people are as they represent themselves to be, and act as they say they will. When someone starts out fundamentally misrepresenting themselves, it's bad. That's pretty obvious to you and I, and most other relatively sane, ethical people. But to someone who's life agenda has subbordinated everything else just to getting laid...well, you get the idea. To these people, everything that isn't their own personal gratification is incidental. Including respect for the very people supplying that gratification. I'm not limiting this to Single Males, either. But the couple where one spouse has dragged the other unwillingly along, or people who intentionally promulgate mis-information about anything from sexual preference to weight, age or a plethora of other demographics. Though you started this thread just to gripe, it has taken some pretty interesting side trips. Probably because what you're mostly talking about is the expectation of integrity. We expect people to have a similar degree of integrity to our own. When they don't the result can be anything from exasperation to physical danger.
  7. True but for many of us, our wives are paragons of social virtue. It's an incredible turn on to see her getting nasssty with another person(s) or even myself, knowing nobody would ever suspect that kind of behavior from her. It's like having your cake and eating it too in that regard. I would suspect that many of the women derive a rush out of flouting the standard that you can be either a naughy girl or a nice girl, but not both.
  8. TeamSoBe While I normally agree in total with you, and still do, I have a few observations about your last post. As preamble, I have to say that when we began swinging, we decided not to go the single guy route just because of primarily my own insecurities and the potential political problems that might crop up. Couples seemed a much more stable platform. At least that was the initial premise. From observation, swinging as a couple doesn't eliminate the bad characteristics of a guy, (or for that fact, a woman), but it does tend to put a bit of a leash on them. As you say, a guy just can't marry a nice girl and think he's changed himself. But there is a mitigating circumstance here. We didn't start swinging till we were in our thirties. If we had tried it earlier, there is little doubt in my mind that it would have ruined our relationship. We did it when we were ready. If a guy falls in love with a woman who isn't or maybe even won't ever be ready to explore her more sensual side, then as long as he's aware that that is the case, he'd better learn to live with it. When he can't live with it is where the problems crop up. Concerning your examination of the Madonna/Whore complex that males exhibit to swinging women, might I offer this hypothesis. Don't we as husbands of swinging women have the ultimate luxury of having a type of totally self contained Madonna/Whore complex relating entirely to our own Wives? "My wife is my personal porn star." isn't the kind of small talk commonly overheard at the local PTA bake sale, but most of those folks probably don't swing. So aren't we being a bit arrogant in our expectations that any man we invite into our bed should have so nearly the same appreciation for our Wives that we do? In fact we have little power beyond that of mere friendship to regulate the behavior of people we swing with, married, single or otherwise. Sometimes I think more's the pity, but that's the way it is.
  9. What do men think about it? Yippeeeeeeeee!!! No, seriously. There are different degrees of squirting. In our foursome one of the girls can literally soak herself the bed and anyone who happens to be within about a five foot range when she cums hard. Wife is more of a gusher than a squirt and for both ladies the best way to get them is through manual stimulation. But I like it best when I can get them while fucking. It's a really awesome feeling and the whole texture changes for a while down there.
  10. All relationships change over time. Periodically you have to come up for air and take a deep breathe, look around, and see where you are. Maybe that's what you guys need to do. A couple of things here are troublesome. It seems like you have been doing this just for him, and that's just plain wrong. Especially for seven years! We've been at it for over three years and we still try and periodially re-evaluate what our relationships mean to us. It looks like your husband is on auto-pilot. While the fun is real fun for us...if it wasn't adding anything positive to our relationship with each other it would be time to stop. From the fact that you're arguing at least your talking about it. But if the disagreement is that intense then certainly putting the swinging on hold seems like a good idea...at least until you get the rest figured out. One of the best pieces of advice I got from a gentleman who had been swinging since before I was born, was to always make sure to reconnect with my mate. Seems like you guys haven't done that and are heading out of control. This needs to be good for everyone in order for it to work. Good luck.
  11. I don't know if you can "teach" your body to squirt. I do know this... M is a squirter....to the point where we often find ourselves sitting in a puddle of cum....I am sure we've absolutely ruined more than one hotel bed. K did not squirt until we met them and thanks to some very expert and novel manipulation found she could put a pretty good wet spot on the mattress herself! I think most if not all women are capable of it but it takes just the right stimulation to get it started. I'd suggest a little research and experimentation on the old G-Spot and just see what happens. Cum Spot, Cum! Cheers
  12. Wait a sec. Wasn't your last post about HIS jealousy issues? Have you guys played at all yet? Not that feelings of possessiveness, jealousy, or insecurity are ever all one person's in a relationship, but the answer is pretty much the same from both sides of the relationship. If there are issues, you need to discuss them with EACH OTHER before you can really arrive at a comfortable place. Even then, sometimes feelings you've dealt with will creep back in, but if you keep communicating, you can pretty much head things off before the become serious problems.
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