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MiCpl

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About MiCpl

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    MI
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    motocross, dirt bikes, fun

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  1. Our "horror" story if you will was a couple we met online. We met in the person a couple of times and had fun (never played). Seemed to be developing a good friendship. This was close to the end of the year and the subject of NYE came up. We talked about it and thought it would be cool to all four of us go out together to the next town (closest place to really go out and have fun), just for a fun night, no pressure, hang out, dance, party whatever and get a room there so we didn't have to drive back. Since we were the more experienced couple we didn't want them to feel like they were being pushed into anything and made that clear up front, let them know that sharing a hotel room did not mean that anything had to happen that night.. we were all just going out for fun (the bulk of the plan had been their idea anyway). Well we passed on several other opporutinities for NYE because of these plans and on NYE we were all ready to go out. The plan was for them to meet us at our place between 7 and 8 and we'd drive in together. Well around 4:30 or so I sat down at my computer and went online. They caught me on ICQ with an "BTW, we won't be able to make it tonight"... "but we were thinking about going to movie here locally if you guys want to go". No reason for cancelling, nothing.... and at that point it was too late to do any of the other things we had been offered. Needless to say we weren't happy and pretty much never spoke to them again.
  2. While we prefer off-premise clubs it has nothing to do with your reasoning. Every club is different. If we had more choices locally for clubs to choose from our preference might be different. We have only been to one on-premise club and we felt that it wasn't the place for us. The way it was set up if you were there past midnight you pretty much had to be having sex, the people were very pushy and we just didn't feel comfortable there. We have been to several off-premise clubs that we really enjoyed. We also went to one club that was sort of a combination of the two. It was an off-premise social for the most part but the place where they had the parties was below a hot tub showroom and a couple of the hot tubs were available for use during the parties. So in the hot tubs it tended to turn into an on-premise party. That was the ideal for us as you had total control over how your evening went without having to feel like you had to leave at midnight if you didn't want to play. As for the question of higher risk of STD's. The on-premise club we partied at very much encouraged safe sex to the point of providing the condoms. Your risk of STD's is the same no matter what if you are in this lifestyle as long as you are having sex with more than one person. Polyamory or committed swinging (which aren't quite the same thing but they both apply) aren't for us.
  3. Not sure who's idea it was initially. It was just something that came about. But even before we got married he had been buying swinger mags. We had some friends that he had swung with as a single too. For me tho, I was definatley open to the idea as the idea of "settling down" had never really been appealing to me even tho I did figure I would do it and had decided to do it since I was married. Not sure who brought it up first tho. I(the female half) am definately the more adventurous of the two of us. He is very quiet and reserved. If a woman wants to play with him she pretty much has to make the first move unless it's someone he's played with before. I tend to be the one to set a lot of things up, although he occasionally does set up meetings with new (hopeful) playmates.
  4. While we don't have kids, we have been guilty of swinging with other couples who do while their kids are home. It's definatley not something we are remotely comfortable with and in most cases we do avoid it. The one occasion that comes to mind was a night when we had all been out together and came home quite late after their kids had long since been asleep. The way their house is set up also helps a bit since there are two doors to go through before accessing their bedroom (which could be locked) - but we would have been able to hear a knock had one of the kids needed anything (and we would have been able to hide I suppose). All in all I think these kids know way more than their parents give them credit for. They are quite open around them and assume that the kids don't "get it". Which also makes us a bit uncomfortable.
  5. I applaud you guys for jumping into the alligator pond (so to speak). It never ceases to amaze me at the way people will stereotype anything they aren't comfortable/familiar with or just don't agree with. How can anyone say that the VanDams lifestyle (if they even are swingers) has anything to do with their daughter's murder? Even if they made a poor decision and chose to swing with the pervert next door, that does not mean it is their fault that he kidnapped their daughter.
  6. I don't know that it's really changed our relationship at all. It does allow us to be who we are rather than trying to act like we don't have desires outside of each other.
  7. Hope this is the right spot for this... not really a swinger question.. just sex.. sort of What's the wildest place you've ever had sex? For us it was in the middle of a baseball field.
  8. Liza, I agree she should have said something earlier on. She said that initially it didn't bother her, but as the night went on and she realized that he was grabbing or groping EVERY time he walked by then it started to. What kept her from saying anything was the desire to not make a scene as this was at a good friends of ours house. Unfortunately, there was never a good chance to say anything to our host about this guy until after he had finally gotten the hint. His wife was still completely awake and being a nuisance (in other ways) in another part of the house (but he didn't really seem to have any interest in being around her). It was obvious he was trolling for a piece.. but don't think he got any. S&J
  9. Luckily for us I guess, we have never had any problems with single males. We have had more problems with married guys at parties or in general being pushy about getting with us than anything else. A few examples: - A married man that she met at work, nice guy. He and his wife had swung in the past, but she was more into girls and not really into guys at all. Things ended up working out so that she met the wife and they liked each other and ended up playing. The man got jealous because he had "found her first" and hadn't gotten to play with her first. The situation was just a little to much, so they are gone. - A couple that we met at some swinger parties we used to go to. Every time we walked into the parties the guy would start bugging her about playing. The female half of that couple was really nice and a great person to be around, but the male half wasn't interested in everyone getting together, just in taking her off to a private room. - And most recently. We went to a NYE party this weekend. Most of the people there we knew really well and had played with in the past. There were a few couples tho that we didn't know. Obviously, what is ok for someone you know really well is different for someone you don't. There were two single guys at this party. Both are awesome guys (which is why they were there) but neither of them were ever in any way pushy with any of the ladies. There was a married guy tho (half of one of the couples we didn't know), who after she had introduced herself to him and chatted a while to be nice and try to get to know everyone. He spent the rest of the night pretty much following her around, grabbing her, rubbing her body every time he was near. At one point she even had me wedge her between myself and a counter so that the guy couldn't get to her. It culminated when he followed us and a group of friends to the hot tub and proceeded to sit lean into the middle of hte hot tub keeping us from having any sort of conversation with our friends without having to talk over him (or for that matter being able to play without involving him). When he came out she actually got up and moved to put herself between me and one of the other guys to make sure he couldn't sit by her, but his hands kept drifting towards her again and she just kept moving away. Finally, his hand got too close and she just grabbed it and moved it away. He finally got the hint and got out of the tub at that point. **** We have always been very picky about who we play with whether it's guys or couples. Luckily, we've never had anyone show up at our door or work or anything like that. We have had a couple of couples tho who just couldn't take the hint and emailed us constantly after we told them we weren't interested. But never a single guy..... S&J
  10. Anal sex is something that takes a lot from both partners. From you (the guy) you have to be gentle, slow and patient. Use lots of lube, start off small using a finger then work your way up to 2, then to more, etc.. until you have her stretched out enough to go for the big kahuna. From her it requires a great deal of relaxation, and trust in her partner. She might try having a drink first to calm her nerves. Plus if she's tried it several times and always found that it hurts she has probably built up a mental thing about it now, where she expects it to hurt.. this will only cause her to be more tense.. thus causing more pain. So the first thing you want to do is find a way to relax her.. give her a drink.. then a nice massage... working over her whole body.. then when you get to her ass and start working there... start slow, lots of lube, one finger to start (your pinky), then work your way to more fingers. You may not get your cock in her this first time.. but as you progress through this each time.. if you can reduce the pain and show her that it doesn't always hurt, she'll relax more and more on her own.. and eventually you might get there.
  11. Getting out the dictionary to look up the meaning of Veracity..... Websters: 1.Adherence to the truth; truthfulness. See Synonyms at truth. 2.Conformity to fact or truth; accuracy or precision: a report of doubtful veracity. 3.Something that is true. .... hey are you calling us liers? lol. S&J
  12. Different things work for different people. For us we make an effort to make friends with people first. And most of our best friends are swingers as well. These friendships are great, mainly because we are friends so we can hang out and do things together.. but at the same time when we want things to get hot and heavy they can as well and we can all be honest with each other about who we are. On the other hand we also have people that we just play with. Sometimes we do pick people up at parties or bars and play.. never to see them again. Sometimes we meet people and play then become friends. Don't count out friendship because of a bad experience. Our first experience was bad.. but that was what taught us that friendship helps.. when you know the person you are playing with better you know how better to turn them on and vice versa.. whereas when you are playing with a complete stranger (or close to) it can still be fun cuz there is that heat of the moment first time passion.. even tho you might be struggling to find their buttons and vice versa.
  13. We haven't used it at all, but we have been with others who have in the swinging scene. Performance Anxiety is pretty common and we know a few guys who have used viagra to get them through it with much success. What it comes down to is do you really have to have an orgasm when you have sex? We've been with guys who don't necessarily every time they have sex.. either they know they only will come once but want to prolong their play time or whatever.. so they play.. and when it comes close they back off or slow down. So with viagra you don't have that worry either. Then again there is the chance of making the woman feel bad that perhaps she isn't doing it for you if you don't "cum".. so there are a lot of possibilities. Whatever you decide to do you should be honest about it with your swing partners so they know what is up. S&J
  14. Neither of us are models either. Both of us are at least 10-20lbs over our "ideal" weights, he's balding and hairy.. but funny, I'm attracted to balding guys. One of my biggest turn-ons (as far as a guys looks) is a guy who's balding (or usually shaved or cut really short to hide the fact that he's balding) and a goatee. As for women we both prefer them with a little meat on their bones, none of this stick girl stuff.
  15. The highest chances of either of those scenarios occuring are in the instances where either of you have open sores (either him on his dick if you are giving oral sex or you on your pussy if you are receiving). STD's can travel in saliva. Of course if he comes in your mouth your chances of recieving and STD from him are highly increased.
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