ANewName

No, We only play together. I have watched her with other men and it turned me on in the moment, but the emotional aftermath was really shitty. I *really* like showing her off, and I love when she’s walking around the club naked, but I’ve learned that actual sex is just more than I can handle. Lucky for me, she has been super understanding.

We have actually been 3 times. First visit we had some really wild adventures and it was awesome in the moment but I had a strong emotional reaction after the fact. The second visit we had a very pleasant full swap. I did not have any emotional issues afterwards and it was a perfectly nice time. On our third trip we did some public play, but no swapping. It was then that I realized that I really didn't want to pursue swapping. It doesn't excite me nearly as much as having sex with my wife does. 23 years in and she's the hottest woman I've ever met. I thought that a new partner would be a huge turn on, but it didn't do much for me. If we somehow stumble into a scenario that just seems perfect, we might go for it, but it's not something we will be actively pursuing. My wife has been super supportive of me deciding this just wasn't for me and we're both totally interested in going back and exploring more. Public sex, public nudity,parallel play, kink... There's a lot that turns us both on that is appropriate at the club but doesn't fall into the full swap scenario.

We went to the club again this week. Saw some sexy things, enjoyed the vibe, had some pretty clear positive signals from the couple we played with last time, and at some point I just realized that I don't have any interest in having sex with anyone besides my wife. We talked about it at length and she has been very understanding. I still want to keep going to the club, as I love public sex and the crazy sexual energy there, but straight up swapping partners just doesn't do anything for me. I'll never say "never", but for now, it's definitely off the table... The good thing is that there's a lot of other sexual experiences to be had, and a lot of things to explore. The thought of going to the club without finding someone to have sex with is almost "freeing" in a way. I'm looking forward to going back. So as far as my original question - I'm going to say that for me at least,no amount of nurture would overcome my nature. I'm just a monogamous person. Commitment and monogamy have always just come very easily to me, and it's just the way I'm wired. Oh well - there are plenty of other sex adventures to be had!

I'm uncut and while I've never had a complaint, it's not something I really think about.. I greatly prefer shaved pussy, but if I was presented with a full bush I would just roll with it. After all, we're here for new experiences.

I hear what you're saying. I'm definitely enjoying our experiences and I'm anxious to explore more, but at the same time it's a lot like learning a foreign language. I've never felt constrained by monogamy, but I love sex and new sexual experiences. I'm still wondering if I'll manage to become fluent. Time will tell...

My wife and I have been married over 20 years and have a super solid relationship. She had a good number of partners and experiences when we met, whereas I was a serial monogamist who had only a couple partners ever. After years of discussion we finally made the leap and visited a club and have now had a few experiences. I’ve had an incredible time in the moment, but have had a couple freak outs days afterwards. We’ve been adjusting rules and expectations as needed and things seem to be going well. My wife never had a need to connect sex and feelings, whereas that is all I’ve ever known. At my core, I’m a monogamous person. I’ve never had a strong desire to have sex with another woman, but I’ve really enjoyed the fun and excitement we’ve been experiencing. So what about everyone else? Has non monogamy been your “default setting”, or was it a learned behavior? Can you be successful in the LS if you aren’t a non-monogamous person by default?