I was in my mid-twenties, I was living with my girlfriend in Singapore at the time. We are both Caucasians and had been living in Singapore for a couple years then. We had a great sex life and were very open with our fantasies and kinky side. She loved sex a lot, and she was equally bi, but she would try to hold back from exploring her sexuality because the social circle of friends and family wouldn't understand or approve of it. But since we were far away from home in a foreign country, I encouraged her to go out and meet other girls. I could see she loved me for that because she was shy and all she needed was the support and approval and perhaps the push from me to make her explore that side of her which she loved but was trying to suppress.
A few months after she was going out and putting herself out there, she had a couple experiences with a couple of females and then she met a very attractive younger woman who was a university student. I could feel she fell head over heels for her. They started spending a lot of time together, and my girlfriend was almost like a sugar mummy in this relationship taking her girlfriend to dinners and drinks and even buying her gifts. I was very happy for her. She would tell me all about the hot sex they had but only when I pushed her to tell me about it. It felt to me like she wanted to have that experience for herself only and didn't want to include me in it, she had a very possessive personality.
I started to feel a bit left out. They would have very hot and steamy sex in bed while I was sleeping next to them, but never did she offer to include me, I felt she was a bit selfish. She would only want to have sex with each one of us separately so she could enjoy the experience for herself only.
Anyhow this was a major turn on for me especially that she broke off that taboo and was acting naturally and openly not being judged, she was very happy, and everything felt great. This was when the idea started coming to me that perhaps I should also explore my bisexual side. It was more the kinky and taboo side of it that turned me on rather than the emotional or romantic side. I don't think I am emotionally attracted to men, it's more the feeling that I am doing something wrong or naughty.
We were very open about our sexual fantasies, and we had discussed a lot of kinky scenarios, but I could quickly feel that the idea of me getting involved with another guy was repulsive to her. So I didn't discuss any further with her because I didn't find the support. Although in hindsight if I were more open about it or even more persistent, she would have probably come around the idea. However, I didn't want her ever to hold something against me that she could, later on, use against me which would undermine my macho status in the relationship.
The more I tried to not think about this, the more the urge became to explore it until one night I decided to go to a massage parlor with male masseurs. I didn't know what to expect but knowing that I would be completely naked in the presence of another male was already a breakthrough for me as it crossed a taboo.
I was laying naked on my stomach on the massage table, and the young masseur was topless wearing tight sports shorts. He was very fit. Quickly I could feel the sexual tension building up, the guy's cock kept brushing against my arm as he was moving around the massage table. Perhaps it was intentional from his side or just happened by accident, but I was getting very much turned on by the whole situation. Things kept heating up as he touched my lower back and slowly made his way to my buttocks, gently massaging my legs and into my inner thighs, and again his pinky would accidentally yet very subtly touch my balls or my cock or close to my anus, and it was hot as fuck.
He asked me to turn around on my back, as I was turning around he could see that my erection was in full size, it didn't take very long, but his head dove to my cock and he started sucking me hard. I was in delirium, something I never experienced before.
Although I wouldn't consider myself bi at all, I always thought it was the mental fuck about exploring with another guy that turned me on, the taboo, the cheating aspect, etc. But I have to say, the physical aspect was soooo good also.
While I was laying on my back, I moved my head forward, took off his shorts, and started sucking him. It all happened very naturally without any exchange of words. His cock tasted so good. I always wondered how my girlfriend felt when sucking my cock and sometimes watching her enjoy it so much made me wonder if it was just acting or whether it was really sexually pleasing for the person giving a BJ.
After I sucked the guy's cock, I was so surprised to discover a new form of sexual pleasure that I never knew existed, it was one of those eureka moments.
At this stage I was in nirvana, the ecstasy I was in was indescribable. I wanted more. I asked the guy to fuck me, I now wanted to feel his cock inside me. I felt so naughty, and I felt like a slut. I wanted to be abused. He went to get a condom, but it felt like an absolute eternity before he came back. I was so horny and hot, and I was touching myself fantasizing about what just happened, by the time he came back and put the condom on, I was almost ready to explode.
He tried to slide his cock inside me but I have not done anything like this before, and my asshole wasn't relaxed enough for him to enter me. So it took a while, and before he could shove his cock inside me, the touch of his dick on my anus made me quiver, and I came so hard, I was exploding of pleasure. The sight of me cumming so hard must have turned him on so much cause he came and started licking the cum off my body. He started to masturbate super hard, and in a short period of time, he came over my body. It was one of the most sexually fulfilling experiences I have ever had.
After that I went to quickly have a shower, dressed, paid him, and left. I never told my girlfriend about it because I didn't think she would understand and I was scared it would undermine me in our relationship. I was very macho and dominating, partly because I felt my girlfriend wanted me to play that role. Had she been the strong, assertive woman in our relationship, then I would have probably been more open to her about the whole thing.
Overall the experience was one of the best I have had. Although later on I have had one more experience with another guy while my wife was traveling, but I didn't really enjoy it.
I think what would really turn me on is a MMF threesome experience. The following years we have had a few more sexual encounters in the swinging scene, we had moved back to Europe then, and we started frequenting one of the nearby swingers clubs. But it felt it was me pushing my partner who had become my wife by then. I knew she loved sex a lot and was open-minded but we also had our own trust issues in the relationship, and we were fighting a lot about it.
She confessed to me that while we were doing the long-distance relationship that she slept with several guys and she had couple regular fuck buddies. Part of me was very turned on by the cheating aspect of it, of how forthcoming she was with other men, how hungry for sex she was. The other part of me felt betrayed. I tried to reconcile those two by talking about how kinky it would be for her to be with other guys, almost reconciling my two feelings which I guess would make me a cuckold. But my macho part would never allow it to happen. The fact that she went behind my back to cheat was the bit I could never get over with. I loved her so much, but I couldn't forgive her. Had she come clean herself or had she discussed her desires with me, then I would have been ok about the whole thing perhaps even getting sexual pleasure from it myself. I think she wasn't forthcoming about her feelings or her fantasies and wasn't assertive. I wish she could talk to me in a more dom tone.
So the few times we went to a swingers club, my wife was probably feeling a mixture of guilt of her cheating on me, so she wanted to please me by going with me. I assured her that I am over it, that she could turn this cheating aspect of her into something kinky and enjoyable for both of us if only she would be more open and communicated what's on her mind. That she shouldn't suppress her feelings, that I would be supportive etc. But she never really opened up. And that kind of bothered me because I felt I was pushing her to do something, although I knew she would actually very much enjoy it if she just let go, just when she was enjoying discovering her bi side.
I was also partly to blame, the one time she was letting go of her inhibitions while we were at a swingers club, one guy was eating her pussy while I was with another girl. Although we never discussed clearly what the rules were or the boundaries, we were just happy to explore and to take it slow and always include each other in whatever swinging activity we got involved in. She whispered in my ear that she wanted to be fucked by the guy who was eating her. That kind of took me by surprise, and I was a bit unprepared. I wasn't at a stage where I was willing to have my wife shared by another guy yet. So I kind of blocked the situation from happening, and the guy shortly left afterward. I could see that my wife was very sexually frustrated but also angry because she felt that I was pushing her out of her comfort zone and when she finally was there, I betrayed her trust by making her feel guilty about the whole thing.
After that incident, it felt that she didn't want to explore the Lifestyle anymore and that was very devastating for me because it was by far the most exciting thing that we were doing in our routine daily lives. Things started to fall apart from there, we were fighting more regularly, and my wife was constantly depressed. The situation kept getting worse and worse until we got a divorce in the end. It was devastating for both of us. Our sex life was fantastic, we were very fond of each other, but I think in the end what killed the relationship is the lack of communication.
