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daisyrey

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About daisyrey

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 03/09/1971

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Central Texas
  • Interests
    Fishing, hunting, watching baseball and football. Cooking and reading.
  • Occupation
    Office-upper management
  • Swinging Experience
    Talked about it, ready to dive in!
  • Anniversary
    05/10/2003

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  1. I need advice from people who have experience in this lifestyle. My husband and I have been married almost twenty years. We ventured into the swinging lifestyle about three years ago and have had a few experiences. 1-a disastrous first house party, where I was the new girl, got a lot of attention, and felt nervous to say no to anything, and to make it worse, the house had a couple of “bulldog” male personalities that weren’t asking, just taking. 2-A hotel party where I didn’t participate, just watched my husband play. 3-full couple swap with the woman later discussed and last 4-hall pass for my husband with the woman discussed below. What led me to being interested in this lifestyle is I get so much pleasure watching my husband be pleasured. I love knowing he is able to receive pleasure from other women, because I have allowed it. (That’s the key for me - me allowing it) Before we ever attended an event, I stressed to him that my one rule was that nothing be hidden or kept from me. If something isn’t shared with me, it feels like cheating. I elected not to be part of a Kik message group because of our kids always getting on my phone. I was happy to let him do all the talking and arranging, and I would read messages when I could. Last year, my husband connected to a woman and they hit it off via texts. I would occasionally read messages, but over time would just ask him if they had chatted and he would answer yes, but just about boring stuff. We made plans to meet the woman and her husband and share an evening together. The night before we met them, I looked at the messages in my husbands phone and was stunned to see months of nude pictures, and sexting. Let me be clear that none of that would have bothered me, had I known about it and been shown the messages as they happened. I went through with the swap, and never felt jealous or upset seeing them together. I was only upset at my husband being deceitful, especially since he knew I enjoyed seeing him turned on. So we had a huge conversation and I stressed to him that going forward I had to see those messages. I couldn’t feel left out. If he did that again, I might not be able to go forward in a marriage with a man I couldn’t trust. He promised that going forward I would see everything, that he now understands how important that is to me, and he seemed genuinely terrified at losing the life we had built. The following 9 months, I could see where My husband and this woman occasionally texted with pictures being sent and light sexting going on, and I occasionally read the messages, mostly I didn’t because I want to have trust. (I want to clarify that this woman has no idea that my husband was deceitful in any way and she believes I had seen everything they were sharing) I reached out to this woman a while back and asked her if she would ever be willing to help me give my husband a hall pass. That’s another fantasy I have. About a month ago, she finally responded that her husband was on board with it and we arranged a date. A week before they met, I read their messages, and noticed there were things my husband had told me they talked about that weren’t in the messages. When I questioned him he said they were also using Snapchat to communicate. (Which is impossible for me to feel a part of). I got upset, and started questioning him. He was honest (I think) and admitted they were texting and sharing pics via snap, he also admitted that there were parts of their conversations that he had edited, removing sexting. He isn’t sure why he did it, he knows I’m okay with that as long as I’m aware. He thinks even though I have told him I’m cool with it, he worries I’ll get mad. I allowed him to go through with the hall pass, I weirdly felt bad at pulling it away after I’d given the go-ahead, not to mention I was the one that instigated the idea. I think he has been honest about everything that happened during that night, and I’ve spoken to her as well. I have no issues with that time together. He insists that this woman doesn’t mean anything to him. That maybe it’s the thrill of doing something he shouldn’t. I feel like I’m at a crossroads. I love this man and our life together so much, and I want to fight for what we have. But I don’t think I can ever trust him again, and I don’t know if I can stay in a marriage with no trust. What’s worse than the trust issue is that I never dreamed he could do something that he knew might lead to losing me. I can’t even conceive of the idea and I worry that I will never feel cherished and valued again, which I would have previously listed as the two best things about my marriage. I don’t know which is worse - he risked our marriage for a woman he has started to have deep feelings for, or he risked our marriage for a woman that means nothing. There are other things happening as well - he used to get so excited at getting nudes from me, but once she started sending him hers, he developed a very ho-hum reaction to anything I sent him, sometimes even seeing humor and playfully making fun of my poses, etc. I have always been very self conscious about sending nudes and it took him several years to get me to a place where I enjoyed sending them. So I was sending him dirty pics that weren’t getting much of a reaction, (maybe at best something like “looking good”) yet I was seeing in their messages where she would send pics and his reaction was “wow, you look hot as fuck” or “I wish I could have my hands on you now”. (The kind of responses he USED to send me) I eventually stopped sending him pics back in February and he has never once asked why I stopped. I think he has gotten so dazzled by the newness of her that he lost excitement about me? When I recently brought this up to him and told him why I stopped sending pictures to him, he said he had assumed I stopped sending them as a punishment for what he was doing with her 🤦🏻‍♀️. Now he realizes his reaction to my pics changed and he feels bad about it. He would like me to send him pictures of myself again, but I now feel like any reaction he has to them won’t be genuine. What a mess!! Our sex life has stayed very active throughout this all. Also, we used to do a lot of sexting between us while working, but since he started sharing that with her, he never reaches out to me with any dirty talk. When I brought the subject up with him, his answer is that since he started doing that kind of talk with her, and since he has slept with her, he feels uncomfortable talking about her to me. But still insists she means nothing to him???? Once again, he seems genuine and regretful and is making a lot of promises about change and things he will do differently going forward. I want to stress how great our marriage is, and how well he treats me, outside of this issue. He is trying to understand his behavior himself, but can’t really offer me much of an explanation. He keeps saying he doesn’t know why he deleted messages, why he keeps worrying I’ll get mad, why the dirty talk changed, why the thrill of the pictures and his reaction to them changed. I am the type person that in order for me to move forward and forgive , I need to understand his actions. Does anyone have any insight that might help me? Has anyone experienced betrayal like this and recovered the relationship? Or am I overreacting to the level of betrayal this feels like to me?? I feel conflicted because I’ve always encouraged him for text and flirt with her. Now I’m angry and hurt that it was hidden from me, but it feels like I was an accomplice so I don’t have a right to be as hurt as I feel. Side note - she and I also text but not often. I know she has no idea anything has gone on. We have arranged a threesome event in a couple of weeks. I’m not nervous about the physical side of this. I can tell my husband is very nervous, worried he might say it do something that hurts me. This will be a first threesome for us, so I’m confused at why there seems to be no excitement in his part. Sorry for the long post. I have no swinger friends and none of my regular life friends have any idea we do this, so I have absolutely no one to talk to about any of this and I’m feeling very lost and alone.
  2. We will never repeat that again...lesson learned! It was implied to us that all the other couples were sleeping over as well. We didn’t want to offend, so we agreed to stay. At the end of the night, the other two couples left and we were left alone. Awkwardly! Definitely learned some lessons but the experience had enough good In it to make us want to continue.
  3. Finally had our first experience in the lifestyle this past weekend, after two years of talking about it and spinning our wheels with online couples! Husband and I were invited to a house party with four couples. (One couple didn’t play. The female of the host couple stopped playing, right after she achieved orgasm at the beginning of the night while being tended to by other females.) We went into this experience without any rules (figure how will we know if something bothers us unless we’ve tried it). Where to start? So much to say! (And don’t want this post to be a chapter so I’m trying to summarize the things we loved and the things we hope to avoid in the future. Things we loved: *We each loved seeing the other receive pleasure. *Especially loved the foursome feel when the “extra” male left the room. *I loved touching and tasting a woman. *We each loved giving pleasure to others. *We met two couples - one of which we played with and enjoyed, another that we have plans to meet up with in February at a hotel party. *Have had great sex since the party, just from talking about the events. Things we didn’t love: *Before the party started, the other couples tossed around a few rules such as “you always ask before touching”. When our party kicked off, it began with the females only playing. I joined in, but within a minute or two, the male half of the host couple pulled me away from the group and got on me. (Without asking) *once the female host exited the room, there was an extra male who was a bit of a bulldog personality and took whatever he wanted without asking. *we had been invited to sleep over. So once everyone went to bed, we could hear the host couple arguing well into the night. I worried I was the subject of the argument since I was the one he had bulldozed his way o to all night. So neither of us slept a wink. I’m glad we had some great experiences and met some really great people. I felt a little uncomfortable saying no for some reason. Probably because no one ever asked permission to do anything?. It felt awkward to say stop. I think if the one pushy guy hadn’t been in the mix, it would have been a close to perfect night. I have vowed to do a better job if speaking up for myself. Most importantly, it was more good than bad and were looking forward to our next adventure!
  4. Where is Windstar? Oklahoma? I think the best idea is to just meet the couple and see if there's a connection. If there is, it doesn't really matter if they're experienced or not. You'll have more fun I think if there's a connection.

  5. I’m re-reading some of our previous conversations and realizing I’m repeating myself about Windstar and about the other sites we’re on! Sorry about that! You can tell we live a pretty ho-hum life! We live in a really small town - nothing too exciting or new happens often:)

  6. The first weekend in October, we are are headed to Windstar on Saturday. So we are thinking of going Friday night and visiting Collettes then. There is a couple from the DFW area that have reached out to us about meeting up there. They are similar to us in that they have visited clubs, but have not yet connected with another couple.

    *I'm conflicted about whether it would be better to meet up with a couple that is inexperienced like we are...or better to meet up with veterans who “know the ropes”. What do you think? At the end of the day, the most important thing is probably to just jump in and get that first connection made. I’m sure the first experience is the most nerve wracking.

  7. Hey! Good to hear from you again! Now that school has started back up, and with Football games each week, we are just now beginning our busy time of the year! We have not made it back to DFW area, nor have we connected with anyone. My husband has a profile on another site where couples can reach out to one another. We have had a few people reach out to us, but due to scheduling issues (sometimes them/sometimes us) it just hasn’t happened yet. We did agree to meet another couple one weekend, but they had something come up. Then by the time their plans fell through and they reached out to see if we could still meet, we had made plans with family. It’s hard scheduling this kind of things with kids still at home:)

    I’m sending a second message...I’ve reached my limit of characters ?

  8. Hey! Thanks for your email about Players in Dallas! I replied yesterday, but I can’t see anywhere in my messages where it looks like it sent. I work around computers, but sometimes this site makes me feel pretty technologically challenged:)

    If you didn’t get my reply let me know!

  9. Thanks for all the input and responses! I loved the experience and we will be making another trip when “family life” allows us to! My husband and I both are mid-forties. Everyone within that age demographic and older were quick to smile make us feel welcomed. I tried really hard to not have a “doe in the headlights” look about me, but my brain was probably whirling and over analyzing everything all night:) As far as the crowd numbers being low, we wondered (at least with our peers) if some people might not have kids and/or families visiting for Fathers Day. A regular that my husband chatted with said the numbers are normally higher.
  10. Last night we finally went to a club. We visited Colettes in Dallas. A few things I loved about the club: 1). Amazing and friendly staff. 2). Clean facilities 3). Loved watching women dance on the pole 4). Almost all patrons were friendly. We had been warned that Colettes was really cliquish. I never felt that way. I felt like there were ALOT of regulars that seemed genuinely happy to see one another. It’s true it can make you feel a little on the outside, but I didn’t ever feel like it was in a snotty, clique demeanor. A few things I didn’t like about the night: 1). During the tour, we were told that in the orgy rooms, only lingerie, full nudity or underwear should be worn. Throughout the night, when we checked out that area, anyone playing was almost fully clothed. The men had their pants only slightly pulled down and the women had the dresses slightly pulled up. There were also spectators inside the room, not participating. 2). Maybe we should have gone on a weekend other than Father’s Day. The club wasn’t nearly as packed as I had anticipated. The bottom floor had (maybe) 20 people. The top floor was decently full. But not packed by any definition. 3). I had assumed most women, at least later in the night, would be wearing lingerie. The entire night I saw only a few. The majority of women there stayed fully clothed and I got the impression that the majority of the couples there were only there to watch All in all, we had a great time. We did meet another couple that we visited with most of the night. Maybe something would have come of it, but it was their first time also, and I don’t think either couple felt comfortable enough to offer any action. I ended up giving my husband a blowjob in a playroom, while we watched other couples. The whole experience was definitely a turn-on and We plan on going again someday!
  11. My main curiousity is if most men would be happy watching along side me, with my attention being on his wife and my husband. I had also wondered if some wives might be self conscious about me only watching. It hadn’t even occurred to me to wonder if the wife would want/expect attention on her husband as well. I’m starting to think I’m putting too much thought and analysis into this whole thing, and I just need to take the plunge!
  12. We do plan on going to Collettes! Thanks for the recommendation! We had originally planned on going this month, but we still have school age kids at home, so getting away is hard. Our goal for the night is to get a feel for things and have fun with each other. If we fall into a situation that is what we’re looking for, that will be an added bonus. Since we have never done anything like this before, it’s hard for me to say just how much I want to participate in things, outside of watching. I know once I get there, all inhibitions might be thrown out the window. I also realize that there could be a difference between having a fantasy of seeing my husband with another woman and actually living it. But I’m not a jealous person at all, and we have a very open and loving marriage. (18 years) so I’m not too concerned about second thoughts.
  13. My husband and I have not yet taken the plunge into the swinging lifestyle. We have been talking about it and researching information for about six months. We plan on visiting a Dallas club this summer. My prevalent fantasy is watching him with another woman. It seems (from what I’ve gathered on this site), a husband who is turned on by watching his wife with another man is fairly common within the lifestyle. I realize that finding the lone female to play with my husband and possibly me might be rare, so if we discovered a couple with a male voyeur, would it be safe to assume he would be game to have me watch as well? This question is mostly aimed towards the men out there that enjoy watching their wives. Would it be a distraction to have the “other wife” watching as well? Or would it be welcomed?
  14. I am a 47 year old female. For years, I too have had fantasies about watching my husband with another female. I’m also very bi-curious. I’m most interested in the aspect of giving pleasure, more than receiving, and would love to be a “third” person involved, enabling my husband and the other female enjoy themselves. I discovered the term cuckquean a few months ago and was (at first) so excited to find that there were others like me! (As well as a name for it) If you attempt internet research, there isn’t much information out there for a female cuck. Unfortunately, most of what I’ve found involves humiliation - and that’s not anything I’m interested in. On this site, someone recently advised me to look up stag/vixen rather than cuckquean. Stag/vixen doesn’t include humiliation. I continue to struggle to find much information on the topic. There’s so much more “out there” about men who enjoy voyeurism with their spouse than women who do. I’m glad you posted...it makes me feel less alone or unusual when I read about other women who have the same desires! *Side note: my husband and I haven’t had a “swinging” experience yet. After almost 18 years together, I opened up to him about six months ago about my fantasies. We’re planning our first trip to a club sometime in the Spring. I have such nervous butterflies!
  15. Thanks for answering! This forum has done so much to alleviate my fears and concerns about giving the swinging lifestyle a try! I googled Vixen/Stag and that is exactly what I’ve been looking for - I guess I never searched for the right terminology, and I had been getting very frustrated with most of the cuckold results I have been getting. I’m looking forward to lots of reading up on the Vixen experiences. Before finding this website, I had always imagined swinging clubs and groups as being pushy. I had assumed I would be expected to do things I wasn’t comfortable with doing in order to be involved in other activities I desired. I presumed I would have to “take one for the team” and play with a woman’s husband if I wanted to play with her. I know now that I need only be open, honest and up front. For some reason (I don’t understand it myself) the idea of a man I don’t know well penetrating me makes me feel slightly panicked. However, I would be fine with soft play with another man, while my husband enjoyed his wife. Who knows, once I got entangled in that situation, I might be willing to do more than I think I would.
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