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leftcoastcouple

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About leftcoastcouple

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    She's a lurker; he's not
  • Birthday 02/14/1964

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    Married Couple (But mostly Mr.)
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    Earthquake country

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  1. You must be from California i am from the high desert

  2. We haven't played in ages, but we consider kissing an act of affection, rather than something sexual. With that mindset, it's something we keep for us. Contrary to Tina and Bob's comment about it being silly—though not to say we're right and they're wrong—we feel sex is just sex, while kissing is so inherently intimate, it's best kept between us. After all, don't most prostitutes have a "no kissing" rule, basically for that reason? Then again, part of why we feel this way is due to a situation we dealt with in the past. A guy we used to play with—and whom Mrs. LC freely kissed because it added to her enjoyment—grew so emotionally attached to her, to the point that he felt he should have access to her any time he wanted, that we had cut things off—and lost a good friend in the process. We won't allow that to happen again.
  3. This is officially one of the strangest discussions I've seen in all my years of hanging around this place. I say that not as a judgment of the poster, but the topic itself. Thank goodness this sites exists so anyone can bring up anything they want without being ripped to shreds like they would be in most other places. Mrs. LC is a very heavy squirter. We can't have sex without having a supply of towels on hand, and it's even more intense if she masturbates, receives oral sex or manual penetration (especially of the G Spot), or she otherwise gets direct stimulation. Sometimes, towels don't even do the job, and we're forced to change the sheets afterward. She's been this way for more than 20 years, when she first learned to relax and really enjoy herself during sex. Despite this, there's no dehydration, being "done," etc. Unless the bed is drenched, she is more than capable of going back for more, whether with me or alone, the only detrimental effect for sex being a need to "relube" if we're going to have intercourse, since the fluid she squirts is more wet than slippery like normal vaginal lubrication. In fact, sometimes her subsequent orgasms--especially if she squirts again--are even more intense than the first. As for shock, I'll reserve my comments. But for anyone to say that they are "not doctor friendly" in light of extreme physical symptoms, as GPHTallCouple does, is a dangerous game. The human body is a horribly complex mechanism, and if someone has a reaction so severe that they believe they are going into shock--or having seizures, or blacking out, etc.--it's silly not to at least discuss the situation with a qualified medical professional. There could easily be disorders at play here, and to not pay attention to them could be disastrous. Just my three cents. On a happier note, I wonder what percentage of swinging women squirt and what their partners' reaction to it tends to be like. I find it a huge turn-on, and I consider myself lucky to be married to a squirter...
  4. I couldn't agree more. It's been years, but back when Mrs. LC was playing solo with a friend, the norm was for me to be involved and aware. I'd help her pick out sexy attire and have a general idea of where they were going/what they'd be doing (usually going out on a "date" before sex to build up the excitement). I'd usually see her right up until she left, kissing her goodbye and seeing her off. Those guys who enjoy this sort of thing can understand the insane rush being so involved--then handing her off--can build. But like HornyCouple, Mrs. LC and I had a standing agreement that if either of us was ever hit with the urge to "just do it"--not necessarily with our friend, but with whomever--it was OK as long as we were honest about it afterwards. I in fact acted upon this a couple of times with a female friend of ours. Once, it took place after an out-of-town concert we'd attended together and we'd checked into a motel because it was too late to drive home. Another was when we were on the road traveling ahead of Mrs. LC, checking into a hotel the night before she caught up with us. In both cases I told Mrs. LC about what had happened, and she had no problem with it. But to my knowledge, Mrs. LC had never used her Free Pass--that is, until we were tipsy one night and going at things pretty hot and heavy. Out of nowhere, she admitted to me that she actually had done it a couple of years before, spontaneously and unexpectedly, completely out of the blue when she and our aforementioned friend were out and about one afternoon and the urge hit them. She got very embarrassed when she admitted this to me, afraid I'd be upset with her and, she said, ashamed of herself for doing it. Granted, telling me about what had happened so long after the fact was clearly not what we'd agreed to. But rather than feeling upset with her, I was completely overwhelmed by how much her telling me--and trying to picture them together, overcome by lust and sneaking away in the middle of the day to do something about it--turned me on! The times Mrs. LC had played alone with my knowledge were always incredibly exciting. But this I found much, much more arousing. Mrs. LC is, for the most part, pretty straight-laced and innocent--a virgin when we met, as I was. And while she's obviously got a wild streak or else I wouldn't be here talking about her experiences, to imagine her being bold enough to have jumped in bed with our friend spontaneously, on her own, blows my mind now as it did then. The image of her being so sexually aggressive and doing it for her pleasure only, not mine, is among the biggest turn-ons I've ever encountered. The only other thing she's done like this--unless she's holding back another bombshell to drop on me (I can only hope!)--was on a night around the same time when she ended up having a MMF with two of our friends while I watched. After a night out with them, Mrs. LC and I had decided to invite them to play. We had little doubt they'd decline, so I ran to the store with one of them to buy condoms and ask him. Knowing how shy she is about taking initiative, I expected Mrs. LC would be making small talk and waiting for me to announce our surprise to the other guy when we returned. Nope. We opened the door to find her sitting on the living room floor, naked except for a flimsy robe, open and hanging off of her shoulders. A porn video was playing on the TV, and our other friend was sitting next to her--wrapped around her, really--making out with her. And he had his fingers buried deep inside her. Though we startled them a bit, they did nothing to break things up, and Mrs. LC shot me a grinning look that said, "Well, what did you expect?" I honestly didn't expect that--but I sure liked it! No surprise, at that point it didn't take much time or conversation for our little party to get going. I think I'd better go take a cold shower--or two. It's been way too long since we've done anything like that!
  5. Wow, Spoo, you're really speaking our language. Mrs. LC and I had a standing agreement (As if it was necessary!) over Brad and Jennifer. But we both say a great big "YUCK" over Angelina. Meanwhile, it wouldn't matter who Reese was seeing, because we'd both say yes (Make that Yes, PLEASE!!!), regardless. And speaking of Mulder, we would jump at David Duchovny and Tea Leoni in a heartbeat. Oh, yeah...
  6. Nadia, Mrs. LC and I have done the same in the past (though it's been awhile), and we feel the same way you do. It's bothered me at times that some swingers take (ahem) a moral high road and act as if swinging together is fine, but playing alone is not. Some time back, I stopped worrying about it. What works for you works for you, and who else's business is it anyway? Besides, how on earth could it be "cheating" if you and your partner both know about it and agree that it's OK? IMHO, that takes a lot more trust than most couples could muster, so it's the farthest thing possible from cheating. Thanks for asking and bringing this up. I'd love to see what people have to say!
  7. We have, we would, and we will. Playing alone introduces an entirely different dynamic than playing together, probably because of the simple fact that you don't know what's going on, if you're not the one involved that time, or if you are, that you are being trusted to play solo. It takes a great deal of trust by both partners, and it's incredibly fun and exciting. I realize playing alone is not for everyone, and many folks consider it something other than swinging. But we consider it just another way of playing, plain and simple. And if you can stomach the fear and trust your partner, trust me, it's gooooood. And hey, now that I think about it, how come no "definitely" option in your survey, hmmm?
  8. I'm sure I'm in a teensy-tiny minority here, but this situation, unfortunate as it is, exhibits why I've never been able to understand the "permission" approach most folks take to swinging. In the end, we're all individuals and free spirits, and if you're secure enough to agree that your partner can have sex with others under certain conditions, then what gives you the right to dictate those conditions? I feel that once you've said "OK" to allowing your partner to be with others, it's not fair to say only when you want, with whom you want, etc. That turns it into a power struggle, and it seems inevitable that the partner with the stronger will is going to dictate what happens--and bad feelings are going to result. If, on the other hand, both partners agree that all is OK as long as it's above board and there are no secrets, then no one feels manipulated or controlled. Or, to put it another way, if naughtycool's wife wanted to sleep with their friend, and they as a couple have been swinging for nearly a decade, why does he get to decide if that friend was OK on that night and in that setting? I agree that the way his wife went about it was deceptive (at least by his telling of the evening's events) and not in the best interest of them as a couple. Had Mrs. LC said "I'm not going to" and then left me alone with "stuff in the freezer," I'd have been hurt--but not because she had sex with our friend, just how she'd gone about it. One thing I'm not clear on is whether, if she'd asked beforehand, it would have been OK with you, naughtycool, if your wife had slept with this friend. If your answer is "yes," then I can understand where you're coming from. But if it's "no," then you've validated my confusion. Trust is absolute, at least for me and Mrs. LC. If we can trust one another together, we can trust one another alone. And it's from that perspective that we approach swinging, period.
  9. In responding today to a post today by bear_n_bunny regarding open marriages vs. swinging, I referred to a related topic that Mrs. LC and I have long wondered about--how most swingers feel about getting to know their playmates vs. just hooking up for sex. Mrs. LC and I fall somewhere in the middle. We're generally turned off by the prospect of what Erica Jong would have called a "zipless fuck"--nameless, entirely impersonal, etc.--and we avoid situations in that direction. Yet, we have no desire to build a relationship beforehand, either. The prospect of "dating" before playing in hopes that everyone gels on a personal level is something we don't want to deal with. Nor do we particularly want to be friends afterwards. We prefer to keep friends and playmates separate. For us, if we meet, have dinner and/or drinks, and find basic chemistry exists, then that's all we need--or want, really. So, we're curious where everyone else stands. Is it necessary for you to be "friends" before you play? Are you on the other end of the spectrum, preferring to play and then say goodbye? Or are you somewhere in the middle? We've seen folks express opinions all over the spectrum, and we're curious about the norm.
  10. Ditto here with me and Mrs. LC, in that I experienced it prior to HIV worries but would love to do it again if a guaranteed-safe situation presented itself again (however unlikely that seems at this point). I'll never forget the first time, when she crawled into bed with me at the crack of dawn after spending the night with a friend of ours. I was horny as hell after fantasizing all night about what she'd been doing - too horny to give much thought to the strong scent of semen and the matted muff. I just knew I wanted sex, and when I entered her, it was unbelievable. It just seemed...well, so nasty. Once I came to my senses, it did catch me off-guard, and I briefly thought it was going to turn me off. But when I got over the shock and relaxed, the warmth, the unbelievable lubrication it provided (they'd been at it all night), and most of all, the first-hand evidence of what she'd been up to - combined with the knowledge that she'd come back and made love to me - made for a mind-blowing experience. Ahh, memories. I like to think that I'd go down on her if I ever found myself again in the situation, just to say I'd tried it, but I don't know if I'd have the guts to actually do it.
  11. Busted? Oh, yeah, several times over the years. But it's the most recent occurrence that we'll always remember. We typically have trouble getting our youngest, who's still a toddler, to go to sleep. So, when she actually does cooperate and crash before we're nodding off ourselves, we try to take advantage of it. Not long ago, we were blessed with an early night with the kids in bed, and we didn't hesitate to seize the moment. A short while later, we were in the midst of a particularly amorous session when, with Mrs. LC's feet aimed at the ceiling and me oblivious and on top of her, our youngest wandered into the room undetected. As we scrambled for the covers and to hide my, um, excitement from the view of our child--who loves nothing more than snuggling with Mrs. LC--while trying to act as if nothing unusual was going on, we were treated to this classic exchange: "What was Daddy doing, Mommy?" "Nothing, sweetie." "Well, it looks like fun." (Brief pause as we snickered and tried to remain composed.) "Can I try?" At that point, Mrs. LC had to clamp her legs shut and put a death grip on the covers to prevent it from happening, and I broke out laughing so hard that she had to remind me that if I didn't quiet down, we'd likely be joined by another waking child old enough to see through our evasive answers. I did my best, but man, I was still chuckling for days afterward.
  12. Thanks for asking, Spoo. I was afraid to sound naive by asking.
  13. I can honestly say that there's nothing I can think of that I wouldn't do if it would get Mrs. LC going. I'm fairly safe in saying that, because her tastes are fairly vanilla, but even if they weren't, I'd answer the same. Now if only she'd say the same (though she's pretty darn close!) ...
  14. So I'm not the only one? Mrs. Leftcoast has reacted the same way when we've played in the past. Particularly when we played alone, I'd get all worked up waiting for her to get home so I could hear all the juicy details. Yet, typically I'd get something like "It was fun." I'd ask, "What did you do?" "We had sex," she'd respond. :rollseyes If I pressed for details, she'd act uncomfortable and tell me she didn't know what more to say. This drove me nuts on two levels--1) Wanting to know more to satisfy my voyeuristic needs, and 2) Not understanding, period. I mean, how hard is it to describe what you did, I'd be left wondering. And this wasn't a case of her "doing it for me," as a couple of times she met up with the guy with whom she played without telling me beforehand and told me about it later, as we'd agreed. This may well be the answer. Mrs. Leftcoast was a virgin when I met her, and she held out on me for a looooong time. If you'd told me then that she'd end up swinging, I'd have certified you as nuts right there on the spot. The fact that she has reached that point, but still can't completely leave the "good girl" who doesn't discuss sex (a common problem with expressing her wants/needs, too), isn't that surprising, I suppose. But it had never dawned on me--duh--until I read your post, Denver2some. I plead guilty of bringing it up too much, although--thick-headed male that I am--I can't understand how it could not be an exciting topic for anyone, if brought up with discretion. Because one thing's for sure: It's a definite way to get me going, and she knows that!
  15. I'm jumping in late here because I just discovered the thread, but since it's not been brought up, and at the risk of uttering the word "Kinsey" (talk about words likely to cause arguments!): I was taught years ago in college that sexual orientation isn't black and white, but that it exists on a continuum. Under this theory, some people fall on one end ("100% straight," such as Spoomonkey), while others fall at the other (completely homosexual). Most of us, the theory goes, fall somewhere in the middle. Most of us are, to varying degrees, bisexual. Studying this concept in a human sexuality class way back when caused me some stress, probably because, as I faced up to years later, I wasn't at the Spoo end, but somewhere closer to the middle than a typical college guy wants to admit to--to himself or anyone else. Now, however, it brings me comfort, with the belief that having occasional bisexual fantasies or feelings isn't "abnormal," as I was raised to believe. This is a theory espoused by Kinsey, which of course to many is a red flag right off the bat. But based on my life experience and observing those around me, I think it's largely valid. Hell, who'd have thought just a few years ago that women would be so relatively free to declare themselves bisexual? Maybe with that barrier broken down, society will continue to evolve, allowing men to be more honest in their sexual self-exploration and more free to declare when they discover that their orientation is "somewhere in the middle." At least I hope so.
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