A quick backstory. We had been discussing swinging for several months. My end of conversation was focused on getting the green light and trying to make sure Ms. K was comfortable with the choice. We did cover her fears and concerns, I didn’t think I had fears or would have strong emotions after. The issue came after our first MFM. We made several newbie mistakes like drinking too much, probably to ease our nerves or get the nerve up. We also had no clue what we were actually doing. We were with an aggressive male that took charge and it was almost a hot wife or cuckold situation which wasn’t what I wanted. All that being said we had a blast and have learned more of what each of us want/need. We definitely will try it again. It was a super hot night after the dust settled.
The question at hand is, what do you actually talk about? We are good communicators but didn’t know what we were doing or what to ask one another. You don’t know what you don’t know, so communication was about should we do it? Will we be ok after we do it? I was wrapped up in the heat of the discussion and never realized I would have the emotions to deal with while Ms. K didn’t.
I’m asking basically for a check list of topics to cover with one another. I know that is individual but we do need some guidance. How/what do you cover the emotional portion in pregame conversation? What are some basics that need to be covered that a newbie may not consider?
For instance, I now know to discuss what we want/ don’t want with the third is a must. Also relaying what we want to each other is vital as well.
Last how do you check in with each other while you’re in the moment to make sure everything is going ok?
We are fine and have grown from the experience. Even though there was some negative feelings on my part and hers because I didn’t feel great afterwards (no fault of hers at all). The end result was definitely positive. We look forward to growing together in this exciting journey.
I hope this all makes sense.
Cheers
S&N