Illusions71

I agree this is important for us. We value our relationship highly and work hard on maintaining it. We are interested in other couples that value the same relationship with each other. She is the dominant type A hard working business professional and stellar mom. I am a hard working husband that puts his wife and kids first before my needs. I married a dominant female and I love who she is. I'm not the type to complain about my wife. I'm more the type she's amazing and watch out shes badass lol. With this in mind we really do not relate well to couples where the man is dominant and the wife lives for him. We consider our selves a team effort in our lives and telationship. So these traits I believe need to be someone similar to trust another couple if that all makes sense. Still getting a feel what all this means and what we might be looking for.

This seems to be a lot like what I think we are looking for us as well with people we can have a connection with. We have found out so far that's gonna be harder to find but like you stated it's already enhanced our sex just just getting started exploring. It's made us both more comfortable with our selves.

What you describe as a first time club experience is I think what we would both be looking for. I'm the husband here and the introvert where she's the outgoing flirtous one. I started us down this path with conversation but the more we get into it the more I am the one to control the pace. Observing or flirting with people in the club I know would be enough for us to be all over each other. My wife would be the same way as you described the blowjob and I'm sure that would be fun. I really like the idea of starting off with parallel play. I really enjoy our sex life and I think there would be something definitely erotic riffing off another couples sexual energy at the same time.

That sounds awesome really. Just going to meet and observe with only playing with each other sounds like an exciting time to me. I also think my wife would really be into that non judgemental atmosphere.

Thank you I really appreciate the great responses. Helps to not feel alone in this new experience. Some of the people we met made it sound like they were open to continuing only talk. Some of them were also newish to the lifestyle themselves. How ever I got the impression they were just being nice and we not interested in helping navigate the community. We got started when a friend brought up his brief lifestyle experience with his ex. He had continued to play with the couple solo after his divorce. Our curiosity and questions quickly turned into flirting with him. Then a soft get together and a planned mfm evening. He flaked out on the planned date and left us hanging with lots of excitement for a new experience in our sex life. We setup a profile afterwards to meet other couples. I think we came off that failed experience a little over zealous and excited. We we're probably a little too eager as newbies trying to meet other couples thru profiles. Moving past that website and taking a step back has been good. We are still both definitely interested in still persuing but at a much slower pace. We have looked at a few clubs online but still a little shy about going to one not knowing what to expect. We wouldn't want to walk in and instantly jump into something we are not sure about.

We were trying tovconnecting with some couples based on similiar profiles as ours. In the beginning the interest into what we were looking for seemed the same but after getting turned down their reason didn't align with what they intintially said they were looking for. It got very confusion. We havent given up on the lifestyle yet but not sure of our next approach after trying the profile matching. I think your right and we definitely wonder when meeting people after meeting swingers. ?

Haha thats a great tag line. I get that it can take a lot of time going to thru people. I guess I didn't know starting out it was going be so difficult dealing with different people. I never dated much myself before meeting my wife 16 years ago and now after being married for a long time this is definitely new. Not any easy as an adult that than it was for me in college. Well my lack or confidence could be dragging us down honestly. My wife is very out going. She has had some body confidence issues but receiving a bit of attention in the beginning real shot up her confidence. I'm very reserved in a new social setting and she's the opposite.

If we feel brave enough for a club which I don't, we will here to travel. The local here includes the people and group we had a bad taste with

Just recently deleted our profile on a website after frustrating try into navigating the social aspect of meeting swingers in our area. We thought we tried to be very open with communicating what we were looking. After meeting several couples and having experiences turned down. We are left trying to figure out if we are going about it all wrong or it is really all strictly a physical attraction that is not compatible. We have been let down nicely what feels like bogus excuses from multiple people leaving it hard to figure out if we are doing something wrong or just not attractive. Both of us are rather low on self confidence and also struggle with our vanilla relationships. Most of our vanillas are what I call half friends. Only friends when it's convenient for them and leave us hanging a lot when we put effort into trying to maintain friend ships. We feel lead along by our vanillas that there is a relationship there but their actions don't say the same. We have had the same experience in trying to meet people in the lifestyle which might make us more sensitive to let downs I assume. I'm beginning to think we just be caring of other people to just have sex.