With this particular couple it started with me talking to the wife, and him talking with the husband and then we all met up together for a pool night at their house. The other man worries me a little bit, as in he just likes being very involved with his spouse. That's fine obviously, I have zero problem with him making sure she is comfortable. But it seems like it also gets to the point it's kind of forgotten that I'm there for the same thing. My husband flirts and interacts with the spouse and i have no problems with that either. We talk at great lengths about all of this. I just feel like he's getting more out of things than I am. We play with other couples, we've done soft swap and full swap. With this most recent couple he's done things with the other spouse which we all said was good, was never any problems for me. But it's just not coming back my way, like the other man gets so focused on making sure his spouse is happy that I just get discarded. I'm not an openly outward person, i'm one of those where i meet you halfway sort of thing and lately feel like i'm going 80% and nothing at all comes back. Very frustrating with it.