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missohio

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  • Content Count

    5
  • Joined

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27 Excellent

About missohio

  • Rank
    Just Getting Started
  • Birthday 10/31/1987

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Married Female
  • Location
    Columbus
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx
  1. Hi, all. I'm pretty new here. My husband and I are only in discussions about this lifestyle. Here's my biggest hangup and something I think about a lot in regard to swinging... So, I'm not perfect (of course no one is). I've had kids, so there are things that have changed. But I'm an attractive female in her 30s, size 4 dress, pretty fit but somewhat curvy, too - I have a nice figure. I'm mostly confident in my body. I guess my concern is once the clothes come off. Everything else is fine....but I've always had "larger" inner labia. What they refer to as "beef flaps." It was one of my biggest insecurities as a younger woman. I don't have one of those vulvas where the inner labia aren't visible at all when standing. They protrude and always have. Men I've been with have never said anything (except one when I was 18 - made me feel like shit, but I chalk it up to him being young and immature). My husband adores my body and loves giving me oral sex. So I suppose this isn't something I've worried about for a long time because before considering this lifestyle, I never thought anyone else would see that part of my body! I guess I'm just wondering how big of a deal this is to most people? I know everyone is different and there are plenty of women like me, but do some men really have a preference for smaller or larger labia? If someone finds me very attractive and then we end up naked, could that be a major turn off? I can't get my insecurity about it out of my head. Another question but something I'm not really as concerned about - I've had two c-sections so I have a light scar. Would that be bothersome to some men? I'm just thinking about sexy time and then there's always that visible reminder to people that I've had kids. :lol:
  2. Thank you all so much for the great advice! I feel so supported (and not alone!) in this community.
  3. Yes! haha And I honestly didn't do it on purpose. :/ I'm usually good about double checking things like that, but I think I got too busy with my kids...oops. But in some ways, I was glad I made that mistake because I think it would have taken me a lot longer to actually bring up the topic! I'm so glad he was the one who brought it up first!
  4. Thanks, all. I really appreciate the responses. I guess I have to remember that if he were thinking about something similar for a long time and it was new to me, it would take me a while to wrap my head around it, as well. I actually probably wouldn't have taken it as well as he did! I also think my first reaction was, "We'll try this soon!" And after reading these responses and other threads on this board, I'm realizing that for many, the conversation happens over a matter of months or YEARS even before anything takes off (if it does at all). So I guess I really need to be patient and start small. I like the idea of pointing out other potential partners and things of that nature. Just to get comfortable talking about other people and things like that. I respect my husband and would definitely never do anything to make him not trust me. As many of you said, we just need to keep communicating.
  5. So glad I found this forum. I'm looking for advice/experiences. We're a couple in our early-mid 30s. We've been married 8 years and have a very happy, healthy, trusting relationship. We also have a great sex life. Last night, we had our first discussion about swinging over a couple drinks. (It actually happened unexpectedly - my husband found a webpage I left open about "how to talk to your husband about swinging" - oops! So thankful he was open and willing to discuss rather than getting angry.) Anyway, this was all my idea. I've been having fantasies for a long time that involve my husband with other women, me with other men, etc. It's getting to a point where I'm VERY curious about swinging. I'd like to open our relationship up to some new sexual experiences and diversity. I'm bicurious, and have no issues with other women being in the picture or with my husband being with another woman. The idea turns me on! Obviously, I know my feelings could change and I have no idea if I could go through with this, but you never know 'til you try. So last night... My husband was mostly curious about why I am interested in this, and he said, "So are we swingers now?" He said it's not something he's ever thought about and he really doesn't fantasize about being with other women. But he said if it's really something I'm interested in, he's open minded and we can start going down the "rabbit hole," as he put it. He said he'd start looking into it more with me. But he also said he's not sure about it all. He kept saying over and over that he can't imagine me with another man. And I said, "But even if you got to have sex with another woman? I thought that was like a man's fantasy." He said, "Eh, she'd have to be really fucking hot because you are really hot. And the idea of you with another man just takes away any appeal of me with another woman." Basically, he didn't seem bothered at all that I would want him to be with another woman or that I wanted to be with other men sexually - he was only bothered by the idea of someone else with me. I guess I'm just wondering if this is a pretty normal first reaction? He said he's not saying he could never get there, but he's not there yet. I just worry if the thought of me with someone else really bothers him....could he ever open up to the idea?? Also, where do we start? What else should I discuss with him? Thanks in advance for help/advice!
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