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WeRblk2curious

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About WeRblk2curious

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 07/03/1969

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Oklahoma City
  • Interests
    Movies, Music, Art, Wine
  • Occupation
    Professional
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx

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  • SLS Name
    WeRblk2curious
  • Kasidie Username
    WeRblk2curious

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  1. Once again thank you all for the sage advice that you have given me over the last two years. I appreciate it and I always take time to read through the boards and learn as much as I can. So let me catch you up on where my wife and I are at now. We are in an open marriage having transitioned from swinging due to the fact of that we were having just no luck finding that elusive four-way match with couples. Single guys in the area around us tend to be plentiful, but single females/unicorns of course still tend to be extremely rare. So we decided to transition to an open marriage and for us to play separately. We still share our experiences regularly and still discuss and communicate thoroughly before and afterwards. My wife currently has a boyfriend that she enjoys time with and she also has a irregular play partner she sees once a month. So today’s discussion is about me: I am currently in a, well I don’t know if I should define it as a “relationship“, with a female that started out originally trying to be a unicorn with us (the wife and I), but that didn’t work out as my wife and her personalities are total opposites. So I decided to try and pursue a relationship just with her as a possible girlfriend. We’ve been seeing each other on and off twice a week for the last couple months before the covid hit and now stay in touch via text and have started to see each other again as of last week. Our relationship if you wanna call it that seems to be taking a change and I don’t quite understand why… before the covid hit we were able to spend time together, be intimate physically, and go out on the occasional lunch or and or dinner date. But lately it seems that each time I am engaging her, she brings up a financial need: last week she needed to get a new pair of shoes, this week she has major work needing to be done on her car. I sent her links as far as where there were some good shoe sales, thinking I would be helpful that way. I gave her recommendations for two mechanics that I trust and thought that would also be helpful as well. But, that doesn’t seem to be good enough. Yesterday she asked me if I thought that my being a good boyfriend meant that I shouldn’t occasionally treat her to nice things. She also mentioned this morning that if I was in a situation where I needed help with my automobile she’d be willing to do what she could financially. But, that doesn’t seem to be good enough. Yesterday she asked me if I thought that my being a good boyfriend meant that I shouldn’t occasionally treat her to nice things. She also mentioned this morning that if I was in a situation where I needed help with my automobile she’d be willing to do what she could financially. So it just seems as if that she’s trying to get our relationship to cross a certain line. Now for the record, I have no problem paying for drinks if we go out, and I don’t mind either going dutch on lunch, or dinner, or one takes care of one, one takes care of the other. So am I wrong in thinking that, making financial supportive moves like giving her money for new shoes, or giving her money towards her car repair, might be too big of a step...? I could see maybe a loan....But when I floated that idea her response was “how about I not loan you any p****y?” and to me, as shocking as that seemed, I was like is this what we’ve done, moved to a “pay for play” situation...? I’m scratching my head trying to wrap my head around this. I mean she has a man, who lives and works out of state. So to me, that means she has a significant other, like i do. So he should be handling those major responsibilities like that. Any advice I’d gladly appreciate. But it seems to me like if we are moving in this direction, it’s time for me to move on, because that’s not what I’m looking for.
  2. Thanks in advance for all the answers /posts! I do appreciate the insight. I’ll try to just answer as briefly as possible everyone thus far: Padoc: actually I have a lot of hobbies, but the lifestyle isn’t my primary one? It is one but not my “if you had only one hobby to do before u die”. And while I’m turned on by my wife, for whatever reason that wasn’t.... exciting? Njbm: yes it did go for very long about 50-55 minutes. It started as a “sensual massage” which for the first 15 minutes it was ok... a semi naked woman oiled up rubbing on my wife can be exciting normally. Numex: the reason I was there to watch was because the Male of the couple has had an “incident” where he was “inappropriate” with another lady of another couple. So I was there to watch and watch out. He left after a bit to allow them some alone time. We currently only do separate play with her with the opposite sex (female) right now.. last two guys she had separate play has ended disastrously (see my other posts asking sagely advice.... Sun&Moon: the wife has a hard time finding women in our area that are into the both of us; As of late this has been our scorecard: * “unicorns” not being anything but Single Ladies who want to play with me, but not her *couples who want to play But only with the wife, as they have a one penis rule so I’m out (and so are they) * guys who say they are “LS” but aren’t and are just out here having sex, often trying to do it raw, cheating on their wife, or like the last one, cheating on their wife / boyfriend (and closeted bi and carrying an STI?) I think that also to the female of the couple I wasn’t attracted to. So there is that, I do tend to get bored if I’m not attracted to the couple even if the wife is.
  3. As always, thank you group for the sagely advice! So today I had the opportunity to watch my wife engage in play with another wife of a couple she has shown interest in. While my wife and this other lady were going at it, I became aware suddenly if being very bored by it. I mean, I couldn’t even finish watching the two of them being engaged and pulled out my phone and began checking out Facebook news instead. I mean I was literally bored. Once they finished and it was time to leave I was all for leaving. My wife of course was upset that I was not entertained. But, I was not even in the least bit aroused. Has this happened to anyone else...?
  4. As always thanks to all who have given us Sagely advice, the wife and I greatly appreciate the input and insight we get here. So, just a story about a recent Meet and Greet I'd like to share: The wife and I met with this couple that the wife reguarly posts in topics ( the husband like myself works a lot and doesn't have much time for social media), and they seemed really nice and were presentable enough. So as we were discussing adventures in the LS, the topic got around to what we ( each couple) are looking for. Well they are looking for a LTFWB situation with a lady, single or married, and haven't had much luck. We mentioned that we were looking for a couple that we could get along with, be friends first then develop into FWB. The lady then commented that "Darn! if only you guys were a bit more open." as she stroked my wife's arm. Holding my glass in my hand, I said then " Darn! If only you guys had your insecurities worked out, and weren't so close minded, maybe we would be." She turned red and we thanked them for the conversation and moved on to meeting others. On the way home the wife and I didn't talk much about it, but i mulled it over today... Every couple I meet always says "it's so hard, sometimes I just want to give up..." but to me, it would seem if you opened up more, you'd have more matches.... Couples who are stuck only looking for females, and striking out because their attracted to women in couples who are couple full swap, and saying their not successful... Couples who are looking for play partners, but then limit play partners due to HWP or Race..... It just strikes me as funny....if the LS was run like a job, with a boss /supervisor, and people were assigned to "depts" to make it work...a lot of these things would go away..... Oh well, if nothing else the LS has been very good for the occasional laugh and insight into the human psyche.... Have a great Holiday one and all!
  5. Its a "girl gangbang". I went back and re-read to make sure I spelled it right and it was. A girl ganbang is just what it implies: a Couple of females are the "agressors / bulls" and a female who is the "target" are gangbanged, usually by females with talented hands, lips or strap-ons. In the case of my wife it was all three, from what I was told.
  6. Thank you all for the advice given. I will approach h this cool and collected and see if we can resolve this.
  7. Thanks Adam Gunn. We plan on touching base today over this as soon as kids are out the house in about 30 mins.
  8. ( as of October 5th, we will no longer be newbies and offically will be at the 2year mark of being in the LS, so I will refrain from using the "Newbie needs ...." title in the postings lol) Good Morning / Day all! So my topic for today: People and their Hidden Agendas, or why can't people in the LS just state what they want? So last night was our first test of seeing if we could do play solo, as the wife had a date with BF of a couple that she had interest in for a while. They have been talking through FB Messenger, and hit it off well. So, Yesterday they planned a date by were she would go to his place ( about an hour away), cook dinner for her, and he would let her shoot guns on his property. Then if they felt like it go dancing later on. So we set our rules and discussed with the BF: no drinking for her ( as she is terrible at night driving and drinking and driving for her at night has had bad consequences) and that we are condom mandatory. Call first if plans change or fall through, call or text upon arrival and departure. He lives in rural part of the state about an hour from us, and about an hour from Tulsa, the next big city. So the Mrs. goes out and has the date, leaving around 1pm yesterday. She texts her arrival about an hour later, all good. Around midnight I check Find My and it says she has gone to Tulsa. So i figured they must have went dancing as sure there are Dance clubs in Tulsa. About 4am the wife finally makes it back home. Mind you she did text when she was on her way, so no worries. I asked if she was ok to drive she said sure. Upon arrival at home I ask her to unpack the date and tell what went on, just checking in. So: She lets me know that the date started as planned, that they had shot the guns and then he made her dinner. They talked and discussed lifestyle stuff and experiences. Since they had walked the length of his property she decided to take a shower to get cleaned up and that led to afterwards her getting a massage from him, which led to them having play time. He didn't abide by our Condom Mandatory rule, and she didn't do a Condom Check, as she said " i got lost in the moment". As they were having dinner later, the girlfriend of the BF shows up. Well we both know that the GF leans heavily Bi-sexual, and is quite known for "hunting" girls within our circle of LS friends. So the GF suggest rather than going dancing, that the three of them go with another lady friend of hers to an LS Club. So they all four go to an LS club. The GF tells them "oh this club is known for Girl Gangbangs and we should see one tonight". So they go to the club and my MRS, who's never seen a Girl GangBang is intrigued. So they end up meeting a few other LS female friends from our circle, & the Group goes into a playroom. Well according to the MRS., the BF and her start playing, and then it ends with the BF leaving the MRS in the playroom with the other ladies and she ends up in the Girl Gangbang as a participant! So, of course when I finish hearing the story, my only and one reaction is: Why did they have to lie? Why not just tell you that was their agenda from the beginning? the MRS of course is appalled at my reaction, and doesn't believe they intended to enact this from the beginning. And yet all the signs to me are there.... My question for the group is three fold: 1. My gut says this is what it was. Am I wrong in thinking this? 2. How far do I push this in the fact that rules were broken, and how, if i should, spread the blame on this one? 3. What should I do as far as the LS friends? Cut them off? Out them for their behavior? Just never see them again. This LS stuff will drive you crazy if you let it......
  9. We finally did set up a lunch meet as she could never get the video to work. The Lunch meet happened, she was very nice and sweet, but she wasn't interested in me, just the wife. So we passed.
  10. Thank you for all the responses that have been given! it is, as always, wonderful to know that others are going through or have experienced what you are going through. I think at this point in our lives, my wife is leaning more to being poly, as I've said, she has started to have more play opportunities than I have, and has her pick and choose of different guys, both single and married playing separate, to chose from. I on the other hand, have continued to look under every rock and crevice, and don't seem to be having any luck. Our one play couple we have been with for a while has cooled somewhat, with the advent of Spring and approaching summer, filling up their time with other obligations ( as we've been told, we don't know for sure). So here of late, I've started to move my focus to other pursuits, not quite giving up, but if laundry, housework, the gym, taxes, and car repair need to be done, I just....seem to fall into doing that then trying to force connections that aren't there. We've attended a meet and greet recently & I got to meet some nice couples and ladies, but after 4 or 5 rounds of beer pong, ( and I don't like beer) it was kind of just where I found it was time to go home and go to bed. The wife met and turned down many requests from other males at the party, because she didn't find any of the guys attractive. So I guess the next question I should ask is this: How many couples here who had started as Swap Couples eventually ended up going to Separate Play / Open or Separate Play / Poly? Is this par for course in the Lifestyle, or is it more just a recent thing? I can certainly say that being in the "lifestyle" isn't as easy as we had originally thought.
  11. Thank You for stopping by. Feel free to KIK us at WeRblk2curious, or hit us up at clubforeplay at WeRblk2curious.

  12. If it's one thing I've learned through this, is that "what ever you expected to happen, won't. And what you never expected to happen will." The best advice I got was from an online swinging friend I met through KIK. He said "the day you let go of what's normal, you'll enjoy swinging that much more." It's normal for you to feel hurt that you weren't her "anal first", just as it would be for your wife to hear another woman have three orgasms in one night with you. But if you let go of what you believe to be normal, and let each other enjoy the sex that you each experience, it will open you up to communicating with one another what you do like and not like, which is WAAAY more important.
  13. Thanks Padoc. We do. Unfortunately, since the couple is much younger than us, and they have two kids, and the husband drives Trucks for a living, we only get to play once every six months. Trust me, we like this couple a lot, and when we do get to see them its is wonderful. But, we are trying to find more matches as twice a year isn't our frequency speed. lol. thus our current dilemma. Not to mention, they have also talked about the possibility of moving two states away, if the wife finds a teaching job that will pay more.
  14. Thanks for the responses thus far. The impetus, unfortunately had to do with the fact that for whatever reason in our area, finding a perfect fourway match has been D.N.E. Difficult, and most if not all meet and greets have ended with either meeting couples that play separately, or single guys. Most single girls in our area are into POLY, or are just "hunting" for girls for their husbands to share with. We so far have one irregular couple we play with ( and even then they are like a 85 to 90%, but not 100% match) and so we end up in the short end of the stick. Most of our online friends ( in other cities) in the LS tell us that Oklahoma is not the NORM when it comes to the LS and they are SHOCKED at what we deal with here. Trust me, when I discuss Oklahoma with other LS online friends, it makes ME scratch my head, and I live here....
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