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Ozzie+Harriet

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Ozzie+Harriet last won the day on January 22 2020

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About Ozzie+Harriet

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    100 Posts Club
  • Birthday 01/10/1964

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    NRH
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  1. There's nothing you can do now, but in the future you can make sure that when you are uncomfortable with something, you put an immediate stop to it regardless of how you think you'll be perceived. You are the one who has to live with what you let slide, so even if you have to be an asshole as other might want to portray you, to feel ok about how things turned out, be an asshole so you can go home with no regrets.
  2. I don't have any examples of the bios I've written, but they seemed to work pretty well and I can give you some suggestions. First of all, don't say things like, 'I am funny, laid back," or whatever. If you're funny, be funny so that it's self-evident. Second, try to say what you wat to get across in srt of a narrative without constantly saying, "I am, I am looking for," etc. Start with a few sentences that form a sort of theme you ca write around and just keep it at a sentence or two. Then, as you think of things to add and how to work them in, go in and edit your profile, rewrite whatever you have to to make it easy to follow and not boring and continue to do that until you end up with something you like. Periodically, go in and change things here and there if you think of a better way to say something, want to add something or just want think it will read better if you move things around. Since you aren't a native english speaker, then perhaps you can exploit that in some funny way. I've had to write a lot in life and one thing I've learned is that there is no magic formula or shortcut to writing something to say what you want to say and say it well. It takes a lot longer than you might think, so your best bet is to first come up with an idea of how you want to come across and start with something you can add to and change as you go until you have what you want. besides, if you're online anyway, it's a good way alleviate boredom. The best way to write a profile is to wrte one and keep writing, just like doing anything else.
  3. I am not a psychologist, I don't play one on tv and a lot of people give me skeptical looks when I weigh in what might be going on in someone's head, but here goes. I think most guys feel the need to perform and leave their partner with the idea that "wow, that was just awesome." I think tht sort of pressure in the back of your head, even subconciously, could cause someone to be so concerned about not being the greatest, that he gets so worried about performing that ends up not being able to. Getting rid of any anxiety about the encounter might help, although I really don't know anything specific to do that. It's not just sex, either. It's hard to do anything if you are too worried about fucking up.
  4. Together. If I want to have sex alone with someone, I'd just have sex with Harriet. The only thing about involving others is the ability to do things that can't be done with two people. I couldn't care less about having the opportunity to just fuck someone else. I care about the opportunity to do something different.
  5. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- You have no ide how true and how funny this is. You've given me just one more example of a point I've made to guys for years that's fallen on deaf ears. They may have difficulty believing how stupid guys on dating sites are, but they have not in the least misjudged them, nor is anything likely to result in guys wising up. When I was on a dating site years ago before meeting Harriet, I was extremely aware of the impression I would make by what I wrote, how well I expressed myself and how negatively affected I would be for a single misspelled word or grammatical error, so I was anal retentive about not only writing, rewriting and editing for flow, but writing something that was interesting enough to read, although it was more like a narrative than a list of "I am," I do," "I want," shit that most guys write (poorly). I got loads of replies when I made contact with women for that reason alone. The really puzzling part of all of this is that no matter how many guys who complained about a lack of interested women and replies they experienced, not one was ever the least bit convinced that what they wrote made any difference at all. I even bet I could get replies without a single photo and when I did, that still didn't convince them. Even with good photos, if the guy isn't stunningly hot, the photos only go so far and he ought to not be so clueless as to not make use of everything else he can to set himself apart from a zillion other generic profiles. I think guys believe that because they don't read profiles, that women don't either and my experience is that women do read profiles and that it matters. Apparently, most people on dating sites think spending a few minutes throwing ut a few disconnected statements about themselves is enough to rake in waves of interested women and that proof reading, editing and rewriting are just too much effort. If there is one thing that any guy on a dating site needs to know (unless he's so drop dead gorgeous that it doesn't matter), it's that women DO note things like poor vocabulary, bad spelling and an inability to write a complete sentence and string several together to say something interesting or at least different enough to pique their curiosity. If someone can't put some time into setting himself apart, then passing on him for writing shit and not bothering to even check what he wrote is his own fault. If someone pays no attention to detail when trying to get someone's attention, what's the likelyhood that person will be any less oblivious with his partners in the bedroom?
  6. I don't really buy that and we would never play with anyone like that. I consider it to be an excuse for a failure to be self-aware and a lack of control, neither of which I could see being particularly great for one's partner. An orgasm requires some physiological responses that precede ejaculation and it only takes a fraction of a second to pull out if a guy doesn't know if it's ok not to. Every guy knows those things are happening unless he isn't paying attention. It's physiologically impossible to ejaculate without the muscle contractions that start the chain rolling. All one has to do is pay attention to what is happening and not be out in la la land.
  7. I am not homophobic, nor am I bi, so if we were playing with a bi guy and he did try something that went beyond the usual bumping into each other that's hard to avoid, I'd just tell him I wasn't into that and carry on. If he tried to talk me into something, I'd say the same thing. I'd only get pisssed if he didn't respect what I had told him and persisted. In that case, I'd do the same thing I'd do if a guy did something to Harriet that he had been told she wasn't interested in doing. Throw his ass out very painfully. What matters to me is that people respect our boundaries. I'm not going to freak out if some guy grabs my dick or whatever. I'll just say something and expect him to not keep trying to do it. On the other hand, whether you are bi, straight or whatever, I think it's incumbent on everyone to be aware of when they might be exceeding someone's comfort zone and the problem really shouldn't come up.
  8. Either is pretty much the same, but we prefer couples. One thing I did figure out a long time ago, though, is that an FMF requires an icredible amount of effort to keep both women in the action unless they are bi. So, for an fmf, bi women are the only way to go unless you want to chance leaving someone untended to or feel like wearing yourself out without getting to much enjoyment out of it.
  9. Since our interest is in everyone playing, yeah, I'd find watching to be sort of boring. So, if Harriet was interested in just playing with the female for a while, I wouldn't find it awkward to go entertain myself until it was time to join in. If your wife was upset, she shouldn't be. You weren't really included as anything but a voyeur and if that isn't all that exciting for you, she should be happy that you can entertain yourself doing something else. I really don't see what your wife has to complain about. She was busy doing what she wanted to do and you weren't included at that time. And apparently, you did exactly what you were there to do, so I can't see why your wife cared what you were doing to keep busy with something you weren't bored with.
  10. That seems to be a really common thing to say, but as I see it, that indicates someone who wasn't interested in writing much of anything and was filling up space with trite phrases that have no relevence to anyone but the guy's wife, not to mention the chance that it may be an exaggeration should someone rely on it. One could get that across more effectiely by writing a short paragraph directed to what their intended audience might be looking for without actually stating it outright.
  11. That is true, but to get people to read a profile, it needs to be thought out and edited constantly to improve it it and above all, make it interesting and fun to read. People, including us, just get turned off by profiles that go on and on with "we are," or "I am" statements that read like a list of things the writer(s) think about themselves. If there are photos up, one hardly needs to say "we're sexy," since that will be determined by whomever is looking at the photos. I have a PhD, but I wouldn't think of putting that in a profile. (In fact, I think it's pretentious to even use the title.) That is exactly right. However, if you want to tell people you are a fun, educated couple, the best way to do that is to make a profile that is entertaining and well written. It isn't necessary to say "we are," or whatever, to make those things clear by writing something that actually demostrates that in some way. What people write should convey a sense of their personalities. That may take some effort, but people who read it and identify with it will probably be more compatible personality wise. I think too many profiles are written to just to write something without think about the audience reading it. That is probably true. If we are looking for "professionals" as that was described ein an earlier post, telling us means nothing. What we look for is the level of writing and effort that went into writing the profile. Does this couple seem like they would be fun to meet? Do they take themselves too seriously or seem like a pain in the ass to deal with? I look at it like this. The more people who are interested in our profile, the more people we get to make choices about, so the time taken to trhink aout what one is writing, checking spelling and grammar, making it flow so that is readable and saying what you are looking for in a non-offensive way works much better than just saying what you are and what you want in a list like fashion. Who we are is really the judgment others have to make regardless of how we perceive ourselves. That's best done by getting our personalities into the profile by how we write what we write.
  12. Well, a professional gets paid for skilled work that he/she does, so perhaps you should write to one of them and ask if they charge money to have sex as a couple. That would certainly make them professionals.
  13. Your husband must not have dated much. Rejection is part of taking the lead and going after anything. Welcome to the real world. If you never get rejected, you aren't aiming high enough. I'd rather get rejected 100 times to get one that I want, than just wait to see who likes me and roll with that.
  14. It's really easy, actually. I just pay attention to what I'm doing and be observant.
  15. Never in a million years would either of us buy that sort of "It just happened" excuse for not being aware of and in control of what you are doing.
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