So, me and my wife aren't 100% new to swinging. We discussed it a few weeks into dating, acknowledged we were both "cool" with the idea. We picked a guy up at a club before, it ended badly. He had a tiny dick and just couldn't get it up. I had an old friend, female, lesbian, 28, (I'm 31, wife 24) who began tending bar with my wife. It started out normal, toying with the idea of experimenting. My friend said she wasnt totally ok with the idea, scared she would change my wifes orientation. I told her she wouldn't. Well, over the past few weeks, I have obliged my wife and left the room when signaled, allowing my wife to have a few steamy make out sesh's with friend, as they get closer. They have been more, "playful" at work, making out in corners and such when nobody sees. But, my friend has become distant towards me, not talking much, but being more talkative towards my wife. Two nights ago, my wife went to spend the night at said friends house. Friend watched Netflix with her, then at bedtime, friskiness turned to friend going down on her, she describes it as "different" when asked if she is better than me. My wife tells me not to worry, that she won't hurt me, and also hasn't shown a lack of interest in me, but friend is even more quiet towards me. If I see her in person, she is...ok, but carries on conversations with my wife via text but refuses to respond to simple messages from me. Wife is also under a "you wanted this" attitude when I say I'm not totally cool with the way friend is acting. Wife also showed friend three some pictures, both agreed they were sexy. Wife seems to be controlling friend more than friend is controlling wife as far as "testing boundaries".
Now, my question is, am I just being paranoid? Is this jitters/paranoia a normal feeling of this new experience? Or an instinct telling me something is wrong? My wife tells me she has intent to get all three of us in a room together, and I believe her, but still extremely scared by the way things are going. I feel its just the fact I'm doing something strange, unorthodox, not within societal norms, and thats why I'm freaking out. Any advice for a newbie? Help!
