New here and I have a long story.
I'm 35 but look young like 20. My husband and I have 5 kids.
Apparently my husband has fantasies I'm not interested in becoming reality. He went to a swinger party. He did this over 2 yrs ago and never told me because he said I'd flip out. He didn't do anything there but talk to men about why he went. I found out two nights ago about this. We have had issues with sex. Me not being in the mood ever. Finally I'm starting to want sex. I will never be interested in what he likes so now he feels shame. He doesn't want to talk to me about the forums or what he wants me to try which is just talk to people, get their number. But I have my own fantasies and they are not the Norm.
I have a thing for his Nephew. Idk why, but we have flirted, he's seen my ass pics on ig. He's not even past 18 but looks older then his age. I love attention from younger guys. It makes me feel young and that I'm still attractive after 5 kids. I don't feel like I'm a Mom. My husband says its gross that it is his nephew but it is ok for me to fuck a total stranger who is 16, 17, 18 etc.
Now I feel shame too. I feel like wanting attention from him is wrong and I'm going to hell now. I can't shake the feeling why I only want it from him. We never done anything but talk or smoke weed. My fantasy are completely different then his. Mine is surrounded by a person who's not even close to my age. Being with someone who is younger. I just wanted to come here and get confirmation I'm fucked in the head and I should stop flirting.
