Dude77

Hey Sun&Moon thanks for the reply. It makes a lot of sense. And as you said finding a therapist who is supportive of the idea is the challenge.

Exactly, Eddiem. What do you think I should do in my situation? Just keep all my fantasies to myself and see if she one day is open enough? Because the last thing is want is for her do something just to please me and get me to shut up and it making her unhappy at the end of the day... that wouldn't be worth it. But my request of asking my wife be dressed more slutty, sometimes go commando, etc I feel like is a reasonable request....

Hey njbm, thanks for taking a moment to share. I understand swinging seems distant for me and that's fine. What I really want is not to swap with another couple but to watch her with another man. Sometime ago I watched her dance salsa with a friend of hers and I found it a turn on. And I told her this. But she find its "weird" and strange. And sometimes all I want is her to dress more sexy when we go out. Even that simple this seems like a stretch for her. I understand that open communication is important but I also don't want to over communicate my fantasies. She knows what I like but my fear is that she will ignore all of it and expect me to be a vanilla guy.

Hey guys and girls... so I really need you advise and frank and honest feedback for me. So I'm 32 yo and my wife is 30 yo. Both Asian and she grew up in a conservative family and background. Ive always found things such as swinging, mmf, etc a turn on and when we were dating I did share this fantasy with her. She did not find it amusing and in fact found it a turn off. I definitely did not pressure her to doing anything. Recently she mentioned that I bring up my kinky ideas too often and she seems concerned about it. I understand her but maybe I do not realise how often I've brought it up when I'm feeling kinky. Since she isn't open to being with another man definitely, I told her I like the idea of her dressing sexy when going out. She is somewhat open to this especially if we are overseas away from people we know but it's a change for her still. My worry is that I've become a "pervert" and gotten myself into a position where I need kinky things like above to get turned on sexualy. I've decided to never bring up anything about these again with my wife but to keep them to myself. I fear though that she would never change and continue be very vanilla. I'll still love her but I'll find my sex life boring and less of a turn on. But I wonder where I went wrong and what should I do to change. Thanks so much