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itsmrcurious

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About itsmrcurious

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  • Birthday 10/07/1975

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  • Relationship Status
    couple
  • Location
    shanghai, china
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    xx/xx/xxxx

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  1. I have discovered in our recent experience that my wife is most probably switch. She says she is submissive - and that might be the case in a purely physical power dynamic - but I saw lots of evidence to suggest that she is actually a bit of a dom with someone she doesn't feel is "keeping up". I'm enjoying the journey for sure. As for confusing a bull with masculinity - mostly I have no issues there - I've been facing down toxic masculinity all my life (single sex boarding school LOL). I think it was just some peripheral concerns in the lead up to taking quite a big step in our relationship. As always, Mrs. C has passed with flying colors ?
  2. Well, it was pretty fantastic as it goes. Mrs. C had a whale of a time and explored lots of fantasies - said mostly she was comfortable because she could treat the other guy however she wanted without having to be careful about the feelings of his partner. We think now she must definitely be switch. She really let loose and it might have been the first time I have seen her completely at ease with her own (somewhat ferocious :-)) sexuality. He was a gentleman and (I think) couldn't believe his luck. I came 4 times (which is a record for me by a factor of 2), once in DP (again a first), and she is still horny 2 days later. Naughty flashbacks apparently! I think in an ideal world (for me at least), we would find a great couple that we could be natural with, but this was an amazing and big step towards what I hope will be a great future......... Thanks for all your kind comments! Until the next time
  3. I'm certainly not suggesting that I should be allowed to fuck around while my wife isn't. In fact, we're doing the single man thing exactly because she doesn't feel completely comfortable to see me with another woman. I suppose that previously, it's mostly been with couples which felt like something I could get behind a little more easily. But I am trying to learn compersion - doing OK with it, at least when it's about sex ?
  4. so she woke me up in the middle of last night for sex...... for the second time this week ? that hasn't happened for years so potentially someone is excited
  5. Thanks for the thought through and sensible post. I suppose I know all of this instinctively - The questions are just something that's popped up on my periphery in the last couple of days - the single man rather than the couple fantasy is just a slightly different dynamic. We'll see how everything works out tomorrow night. Wish us luck!
  6. So we've been in this game for a while. Had a lot of fun without having a whole lot of success. We've discovered over time that Mrs. Curious feels more comfortable with just one other man for now, and I've realized that even when we've had other women in our bed, my focus has mostly been on my wife. I'm lucky - I still think she's the hottest lady in the room. So after a couple of recent couple experiences, we've organized a proper night with a strapping lad with a great brain that my wife very much liked on first meeting. We're both excited to move forward with our adventure, but the pre-match has got me thinking - do I feel weird about my comfort levels inviting another man into our lives? A few years ago, my wife confessed that she had submissive tendencies. It was the first time she had admitted it to anyone, mostly because it doesn't sit well with her deep feminist beliefs. How can a strong, self respecting, egalitarian woman want men to dominate her? We've talked through it a lot and I have persuaded her to try and separate sex from normal life - that it is fantasy and has no bearing on the day to day. So in a similar vein, there is a part of me that feels a bit of confusion about this one. I've thought through it a lot - it makes me feel great to see Mrs. C enjoying herself, I like the MFM dynamic, and I am hopeful that it will lead to her having more comfort allowing me to sleep with other women. She's OK with it in the moment, but she's not bi- and also struggles with imagining me with other women. Over time and via experiences, we are getting more comfortable all around. But I'm not really into the cuckold or hotwife fantasies - I want to be involved and she wants me to be too - but when we watch porn, it's hard to find much MFM that doesn't include bits and pieces of both these fantasies. At the edge of my comfort zone is this idea that we are looking for a bull (she would like to be dominated properly), but that makes me a little uncomfortable (challenges to my masculinity and all that). Anyone else thought through this particular one? Am I being too old school and indulging in a bit of and outdated and patriarchal paradigm?
  7. Thanks guys. She did initially go to her gynecologist, got the swab, so presumably got the right antibiotics. We are pretty honest about our extra-curricular activities, so no worries there. Definitely always practise safe sex as much as is possible. Been reading a bit about other partners taking off the condom in mid flow, which seems a bit suss, but anyway, try to be as careful as we can be. Thanks for your care and attention. Love this community....
  8. This is an awesome answer. Thanks so much for taking the time. We have taken some time off sex entirely to try and get rid of it. Definitely a tough moment for me :-), but particularly for her....
  9. So we've been working at finding the right situation for a while (as we've described in detail on these forums). My wife has been quite reluctant to get involved, even though she is very sexual and the prospect always turns her on during porn // roleplay. We met a great couple at a party a while back and they were at the last 3 parties we went to. The third time, my wife apparently felt comfortable enough with them to ask if they wanted to come back with us and we had a very enjoyable evening. My wife finally let the handbrake off and behaved like the slut that I know she can be, and it was fantastic. She had an amazing time and was super horny for days afterwards. That's until the BV (Bacterial Vaginosis) kicked in. She's been very uncomfortable and self conscious of a challenging smell down there for the last month - we've done a round of strong antibiotics and it doesn't seem to have totally worked. A lot of reading later and it seems like this is a very mysterious disease - nobody knows how it spreads, it doesn't cure easily, etc. So of course this has completely ruined her desire to continue our journey. She is hating the fact that her beautiful pussy is out of action and to her mind not so beautiful any more and once again she is back to thinking that the risks and hassle outweigh the rewards. I certainly don't want to put her in harms way again and hate her feeling of inadequacy. A few questions if I may to (hopefully) better educate myself. how common is BV? I've done a decent amount of research, but haven't come up with much. any better ideas how she may have got it? The other lady was super paranoid all night about anyone touching her (my wife wasn't allowed to use fingers, I wasn't allowed anywhere near her which of course was fine. She kept talking about how sensitive women are down there, particularly their pH levels, which suggested to me she might have struggled with it in the past). I made sure her husband wore condoms all the time. do people become more susceptible to it once they've had it once? Any other ways to get rid of it - the (very strong) antibiotics didn't really clear it up, and she (understandably) doesn't want to do another round. Can I give it to her again now? I think that's about it for the moment - if anyone has any ideas, would love to hear them. Thanks for the support as always!
  10. thanks Sun&Moon - appreciate the honest feedback. I think the 15 year age gap is an issue for sure, but again we struggle a bit for options living in China as we do, and so perhaps need to be a little more open minded about what works. At any rate, the date was cancelled due to the novel coronavirus that we are dealing with here - as C said - it's probably fate :-)
  11. Hey Adam, no trolling intended. The advice that I ignored was on the last thread - i.e. let the lady lead and let her organize the next date. I have actually organized a second date for next week with a couple that she said she wasn't really into or excited about. I explained my rationale and received some great insights on this thread, particularly from GoldCoastCo, who always takes the time and care to respond thoughtfully to all of my posts (thanks!) It is very possible that I'm not communicating very well here - time poor and trying to get a lot of information across. Apologies if that's the case. A few other bits and pieces that I don't think I've mentioned that might give more context to my thinking 1/ for someone that was quite sexually adventurous in her 20's, she's less clear now this part of her life - scared about harming our relationship, pragmatic side overriding emotional // hedonistic side. 2/ she has admitted that sexually she might have some submissive tendencies, but these sit firmly at odds with her everyday persona as a strong, progressive feminist lady. 3/ we had absolutely amazing sex after the Russian couple left our room the last time, and often (in role play and while watching porn) her body suggests she finds all of this incredibly sexy. 4/ she talks regularly that her biggest issue with all of this swinging business is that she's worried that (due to her very high standards) she will regularly let down the rest of us. She doesn't want to feel like a prude, like she's disappointing 3 other people that all seem happy to move forward. I've tried to convince her 100 times that my primary motivation is her happiness, and that as long as we are clear and open with the other couple, then nobody is letting anyone down, but she always like to be the open minded cool kid, so she's conflicted. So I'm confused (which is why I'm asking for advice :-)). On the one hand, my wife finds the concept of swinging erotic and she is happy to go along with this journey. We always have fun and she appreciates that this is helping us address complex issues and improve our communication. She has submissive tendencies so I feel sometimes I need to take control and make tough decisions. On the other hand, she's nervous, finds the younger couple thing a bit overwhelming, and when she tries to process things ahead of time, she gets a bit freaked out. Which leads me to this - I want to try a second date (for the first time) to see if my theory about the second date being easier for everyone works. She understands my intention, has said she trusts me completely, and we seem to be in a good place. But, she is also nervous, slightly resentful that I am pushing her in a direction that her pragmatic side says will be a disaster, and concerned that we are leading our Russian friends up the garden path. I hope this explains better my thinking and sorry again if I came across troll-like
  12. Thanks all, I appreciate all of your thoughts. I don't think I've ignored any advice yet, but I am perhaps about to ignore it next week. Stopping comms with a couple that she said she didn't find attractive and letting her lead was the advice. My solution, to communicate further and deeper with my wife and to try and understand what's stopping us from experimenting a bit and trying new things (in this case a second date). The conversations are still good, I am sensitive to her needs (I hope). Let's see where this goes - wish me luck!
  13. Hello Swingers. Happy New Year to you all. So I wanted to see if there was any advice from the community as my wife and I decide to take our 6th journey into the unknown. We have documented our last few in detail but this time thought I'd ask in advance ? 3 months ago, my wife and I went on our third couples date (sourced from the very awesome Red Hot Pie). First date was a disaster, second date was better, but no action (she nixed it) and the third date we got some Russian friends back to our hotel and had some fun together. I thought it went OK, my wife less so. I wrote about that here So, I've completely ignored some of the wonderful advice on that last thread, and pushed for a second date with our Russian friends. I have a theory that everyone was kind of nervous and awkward on the first date, and so it didn't go as well as it could have. My wife said that she just doesn't find them attractive at all, that the age difference freaks her out (they are 15 years younger than us but have actually said that they think we are great and are really excited about a second date - she just doesn't want to play "teacher") and that she definitely doesn't want to see them again. However, in exploring further, there are a couple of things that she's admitted to 1/ the lady of the couple is extremely attractive and the man seems to be a little in her thrall - not assertive enough - which is why she doesn't find him attractive and she's not really into girls 2/ she might be a little worried about me and the other lady - potentially concerned about what I might do and how she might react. Anyhoo, I believe that my wife is a slow burner. She takes time to warm up to people and so I feel that we need to do a second date to see if it's different to the first (we have had 3 first dates and no second ones). We have been completely clear with the other couple that we are still unsure and nothing might happen and they are good with that, which has relaxed C considerably. I have communicated clearly to her that I want nothing to do with the other lady sexually unless my wife is 100% OK with it. I will let her lead on this. They don't want anything more than soft swap, so this shouldn't be an issue. The trouble is that we live in China and a swinging scene here is very, very hard to find. We both found these guys attractive before we met them, we had a fun time with them, but C's reaction was very very negative afterwards. I would like to see if we can get beyond this together. What does everyone think? Am I insane? I figure the worst that can happen is that we realize that first impressions do matter and the C knows her mind better than I do
  14. But I read this to C and she said that if those are her choices, then she will take charge and say no to all of it.
  15. Thanks @numex and @goldco. Great advice as always. I think same room sex is on the cards - it excites us both. Will try and get that organized for the next date. Thanks for all your support - still enjoying the journey :-) While I have you guys, any less well known places to go for a swingers holiday than Hedo and Desire? x
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