Roliin75

Oh yes, this is accurate! When you first start going to clubs, you cannot contain yourself. Seeing people having sex in front of you is unbelievable! Somehow, after a while, you've seen it a million times. It would be like working in a donut shop. Eating donuts the first few days would be delicious. After that, you probably never want to eat donuts again for the rest of your life. Luckily it doesn't become a turn off, it just loses it's shine.

We have not been in the lifestyle for decades but have seen Partners ID jewelry many times. We both wear their jewelry and my wife and I have both met other people because they knew what it was.

I think this scenario is not terribly uncommon to those in the lifestyle. We have met many people in the lifestyle. Some we play with, some we do not. We are SO grateful when those we choose not to play with seem to simply either be on the same page, or understand. We do find it difficult when a couple we have never played with invites us to their home for an afternoon or evening. If we have interest, we would simply go and hope that's what they are looking for. The problem is if we like them as friends but have no interest in anything more. We are still never sure how to handle this without simply making excuses and not going.

I had to see if I was the only one wondering about this problem. In the past few weeks I have avoided a few people because their breath was so bad. I actually offered a listerine breath strip to the whole group. Even this woman's husband took one, she declined. This is shocking to me when you are in a social setting. I once played with someone who's breath was so bad that I started to think it was me! It wasn't. Bad experience.

Exactly! If the woman was a close friend, totally different scenario!

We never played with them. That would have been wrong. It was just always awkward listening to others talk about what a great couple they are. Thinking back on them, i'll bet his wife knew but chose not to say anything to him.

There was a very attractive couple who came to our swing club regularly a few years back. We knew this man (and his wife) but he had a girlfriend who would always come to the club with him. We asked him and he told us his wife had no idea. This was awkward. They were very well liked as a couple and everyone thought they were married to each other. We were in a bad spot... We did not say anything to his wife mostly because she was just an acquaintance of ours and he was someone my husband worked with. Neither of us appreciated being in that situation. Has anyone else had this experience?

Is there any double standard for this? I had an incident where a woman, without asking, put her hand down my pants. I stopped her midway but thought it was rather aggressive.

This is why swing clubs are my favorite place to meet other swingers. Neutral territory, if you have interest in another couple you try to connect. If not, you can walk away. No excuses needed.

Personally, I would look elsewhere. Not worth the potential problems. I'd be curious to know if this man's wife would be interested...

I have a question for you. You mention alcohol infused. My other half and I have had more than our share of "moments" which I often attribute to alcohol. We have a totally peaceful relationship when alcohol is not involved and when we are not in a swing club. I know people say alcohol makes your true feelings come out. Do you really think that is true? I do love her very much but I notice how much I question us as a couple when we have these moments. She is not to blame, I think we both are when these things happen.

I think what we have learned over the years that we have been in the lifestyle is to not be so quick to judge. Some our favorite playmates are people we did not think were our type. We were not initially attracted (or one of us was not) but after spending time getting to know them they became attractive. Attraction is more than simply good looks and this took me a while to figure out. People who are kind, warm and friendly are very attractive and usually a lot of fun to play with!

Well, we saw the couple. I was a little bit cold when I entered the club and saw them sitting in our usual spot waiting for us. He asked me if I was in a bad mood (who asks that?) and I simply said no, not at all. We made ourselves scarce, busy mingling with other friends and when we came back over to pick up drinks he had his back to us. Feels like high school all over again.

I appreciate the input. We are sure to see them in the club tonight and we have decided that rather than being confrontational, we will say hello and walk away to mingle with other people, I agree that I would like to let him know that we are well aware of what they have been up to and perhaps one day it will come to that. I'll let you know.

My wife and I have been very friendly with another couple for years. They are not easily social and so we introduce them to everyone when we are at swinger clubs and lifestyle events. We host parties and always include them. Several times in the past, we have become aware that they take our other friend's phone numbers and make plans to see them privately. We didn't really care what they did on their time. Lately, when we introduce them to a small group, they will invite the entire group and not us. My wife says, "drop them and let them fend for themselves in the future, they are using us." The man can be arrogant (not sure why) and would not handle confrontation well. I'm not looking for a fight but let's face it, that's pretty messed up. My wife also tells me that he knows women are more attracted to me and this makes it easier for him. Thoughts?