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jnrswinger

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jnrswinger last won the day on January 19 2019

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About jnrswinger

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    100 Posts Club
  • Birthday 05/10/1952

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  • Relationship Status
    couple married M/F
  • Location
    Washington State
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    xx/xx/xxxx

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  1. Absolutely. There is no correlation between man's penis size and any other part of his body. It was just the visual of a 6'4" man on top of a 4'10" woman regardless of penis size (or breast size for that matter).
  2. Hmmm, that could be awkward since she has already played with him several times and suddenly she is going to tell him he is too big. As she does not lubricate naturally very well has she tried lubricants? I have to admit it must be an interesting sight seeing your 4'10" wife playing under a 6'4" man.
  3. You wouldn't be The Lionesse would you? It was the "PSU" that made me wonder. Just curious - met her once - no intention to let anyone know anything about you.
  4. I have a different cut on this one. Regardless of rules and rule breaking, this sounds suspiciously like it's all about him. He dragged you into thjustis and the no anal, no bj rules sound a bit one sided too. And now he's all bent out of shape and has a penis inferiority complex. I don't think he is really into this as an equal opportunity hobby. He will let you do a few things as a small price to pay for getting what he wants. If I were you I would tell him it's not working out for you and quit. Otherwise this is no going to turn pretty. BTW: Did you ask him if he would have been so upset if the guy had a little dick even smaller than his? (Sorry, leave the "even" out, I was making a point.) If he is going to get upset every time you start playing with a bigger dick than his you need to know about it now and quit before things get really ugly.
  5. And the correct answer is....... "And I don't want to know thank you!"
  6. And remember, it's not just your face that your family, friends or co-workers may recognize when some asshole posts recorded copies of your vids on line. It's stuff in the background that can out you really quickly. If you do this stuff you need to set up a plain backdrop with sheets or something and cover the bed or other things you are on. Also remember that tattoos, unique body markings, etc. are highly recognizable too. You might think none of these things are unique to you, but it's the combinations of little innocent things that can be unique or close enough to raise peoples suspicions. Even that family photo in the background that is out of focus and too small to see the exact details - just the poses, the colors, the frame, where it's mounted or sitting..... familiar things can be instantly recognized by the brain with minimal information.
  7. As soon as he reach for YOUR wine you should have said that's our wine, we did not invite you to have some, please don't touch it. Following which you should have politely but firmly told him to leave. That kind of behavior is rude and obnoxious in ANY situation, not just swinging. If he didn't comply you should have complained to the manager. Assholes like that will continue to behave like that until they are banned. You should have told the second guy to leave also - long before he tried to follow you. When you let these types of people continue sit at your table with you it gives them the wrong signal that you are OK with it. You need to nip it in the bud immediately. As soon as they sit down you need to tell them we are having a private conversation here thank you, please leave us alone. And immediately escalate if they do not comply.
  8. Yes, but not sure fkher4me qualifies as a cuckold - he said "....fucks random guys.... and with me...". Come to think of it he also said "for me" not necessarily for herself so he seems to be driving the action not her - not exactly a cuckold situation. That being said it sounds great, hope they have a ton of fun and she gets seen to regularly.
  9. Yes, Elizabeth Cramer has a number of good books on BSDM and the kinkier side of sex. But they are more along the lines of relatively short and specific instruction manuals. Screw the Roses… explains the mystique, power exchange, attraction and psychology of BDSM and covers pretty much all activities in addition to instruction, care and welfare and safety. It should be your first book to read to give you some understanding of where your wife is coming from (no pun intended) and help get your mind around the “things he did to her”. I have some experience in the subject so if you want to PM me to discuss anything or ask any questions, feel free to do so. But don’t expect too much by way of specific advice, you have to work this through yourselves. BDSM is about relinquishing control to someone else – the power exchange as it is called. Someone who you trust and with whom you have set boundaries and safety measures in advance (everyone has heard of the “safe word” today – BTW: It’s not always a word.) It can range from mildly kinky to quite extreme, most is somewhere in the middle. Often there is agreement to push the limits – explore the boundaries of the submissive, which enables them to progress carefully and regardless of how convincing the Dominant is, adds an element of true reality to the role play. Many submissives want to be taken to the point where they have to “tap out” so to speak. Not everyone mixes BDSM and sex – in fact it is rare for professional Dominants to engage in any sexual activities because it’s illegal and they risk criminal prosecution, which apart from ruining their income would also ruin their vanilla reputation in many case – not all professionals are lifestylers. But in non-professional situations it’s very common. Since your wife was so interested in both swinging and submissive BSDM, she obviously appears to have the need to submit to being a sex slave. The “forced” sex aspect of it is a strong need in many submissives. In some cases it even manifests itself in acting out rape fantasies which can be quite elaborate. So it seems unlikely that you, being her loving husband, would work for her in the role of Dominant and it would be virtually impossible for you to be convincing for her. She needs men who are into that kind of BDSM/sex mixture of Domination. It’s unlikely to stop at one. One or the other of them will sooner or later need someone fresh and different. Or he might even invite one or more of his friends in the scene to join him in Dominating her or “loan” her to them – which of course would be with her consent, possibly even at her request. Safe, sane and consensual – the cardinal rules of BDSM. I do have a suggestion that might possibly work if you still want to be “meet” her Master and be present during her Domination. Perhaps you can suggest to her the following and see if they would agree to it. (I'm sure he probably would, in fact he would quite likely enjoy the opportunity.) You would be present to watch but naked and completely restrained. You would have no input whatsoever on the activities and be gagged so that you would not be able to interrupt the proceedings verbally. Anything else would ruin the entire scene for them and be a total waste of time. Being naked is important for two reasons, first it establishes and emphasizes that you have no control in the situation and are a passive bystander. It would take a huge leap of faith for you. However you would hopefully begin to understand firsthand what drives her and it is possible that it might surprise you - and being naked you would not be able to hide that, it would keep you honest! Just don’t try to walk up and treat him like an equal when you are introduced to him. He will know why you are there and you don’t have to be submissive towards him yourself but be polite and respectful, after all he is her Master and effectively owns her during the session. As a side note to illustrate some of the psychology of BDSM and sex, there is an interesting phenomenon among powerful women that is not exactly common but certainly not extremely rare either. Not in your wife’s case, but it does give some insight into the kinds of things that motivate people. It affects some women who are in positions of power over men, and are naturally assertive and competitive – typically but not exclusively in a professional setting. This small group of women have great difficulty having a conventional sexual relationship with men, yet they also crave it. They – usually secretly – submit to being sexual slaves on a frequent basis. Being “forced” enables them to give themselves permission to have sexual interactions with men who they would normally regard as inferior to them. We human beings are a strange and complex breed! Once again I wish you both the very best of luck.
  10. Well, I guess the nurse outfit won it - it had my vote for sure. If the New Year party is a costume party she should wear it again. You never know, you might get lucky enough to see her get fucked in it. It will always be a special outfit for you both after that.
  11. First of all understand that BDSM is a powerful fantasy and quickly becomes an urge and then a NEED. Since she was on a fetish website and communicating with Dominant men (you can bet your life he wasn't the only one - communicating I mean) then it was eventually going to happen anyway - the need is that strong. At least she spent time carefully selecting her first Dom. She may not be submissive to you but obviously she has a need to be submissive to someone else. You are not into it so you would not be Dominant enough for her and even if you tried you would not be convincingly into it for her. Halfhearted domination is a wet blanket (anyone catch the lower case "D" there?). Those who are seriously into that lifestyle understand the rules of engagement and the power exchange between the Top and bottom (Dominant and submissive)and all the safety issues. It is actually harder to be good Top than a bottom - you are responsible for the bottom, their welfare and THEIR SATISFACTION. This is role play but the trick is to make it seem real to both participants. All that being said, I agree that since she persuaded you - wore you down more to the point - into swinging in the first place and she has a submissive fetish AND she was already acting on it by being on that website, it was inevitable that she would do this if you refused to participate (the FORCE is strong - believe me). Maybe she thought that swinging might suffice, but I doubt it. Given that she had planned to do it, at least she took some time to choose the first man to Dominate her. The fact that he wasn't as you put it "that attractive" is mostly irrelevant in BDSM - or maybe not to her, maybe that is part of her fetish - to be Dominated, used and fucked by a man she does not find conventionally sexually attractive (define "attractive!) - how much more submissive can you get? (You said "had sex with" her. I can guaranty that was not the scene - he fucked her and she loved it.) You are not into BDSM so you cannot get your head around "the things he did to her" or that she was the willing participant. I get that, but you have to realize at least that she - in fact they both - enjoy and thrive on it. The fact that she told you the first thing he did was tell her to get on her knees and she did willingly (probably very eagerly) ought to be a big clue. Also although it sounds logical that she should let you meet him first, in fact believe it or not it would pretty much destroy the fantasy - unless you were taking her to surrender her to him and wimp off home on your own, but that wouldn't be on your radar. Unfortunately I can't offer you much advice except that the two of you have to work it out somehow between you. Leaving it unresolved will be a disaster. And you both have to resist any finger pointing. There is no question that she cheated on you and one thing is certain, it will happen again and again and...... with or without your consent or knowledge. Even if she agrees to stop now, eventually the NEED will become so strong she will succumb to it. The problem with that is the risk of becoming so desperate she might get into something actually dangerous on the spur of the moment. I strongly recommend you get and read a copy of Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns - The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism - by Phillip Miller. You can get it on Amazon It is one of most highly recognized and authoritative works on the subject. At least this will give you some understanding of what it is all about and what is driving her and help you both resolve the issue one way or another. Perhaps call a truce with no more activity her part until you have (both) read the book. Maybe discuss parts of it together - let her show you what turns her on about it. Though I realize understanding it does not necessarily make it OK for you. All I can say is I wish you both the very best of luck.
  12. Congrats!! Looks like you are on your way. Now you have had a taste of the excitement and fun hopefully she will go for it next time. I'm guessing she will. Sounds like she liked the exhibitionism and has made it over the hurdle of realizing she's still sexy to other people, so maybe she will give a blow job an the dance floor - even if it is only you. That should move things along nicely. Did she slow dance with other people? That's a big step forwards too (hopefully some men and topless). Hopefully you will find a couple who you feel comfortable to swing with, if not next time, then the time after. But it's a long time from New Year to Halloween and you don't want the iron to go cold, so maybe a Lifestyle cruise or something? Trip to Hedo maybe? Join a club? Looks like it's going to happen and it may be more sudden that you expect. Good luck!!!
  13. Oh, and BTW: Of course as a nudist you may still do a (hopefully discrete) double take even at a nudist resort when someone who you find attractive catches your eye, but it's no different than the same situation in a regular textile setting. You just get to see more and leave less to the imagination - not sure which is better .
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