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ChaTam

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ChaTam last won the day on July 1 2018

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About ChaTam

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  • Birthday 07/25/1972

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    Saskatchewan
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  1. I don't agree with this statement either. A gangbang is definitely my wife's fantasy and not mine. We have never done it and I'm not sure we ever will (I actually highly doubt it). Right now it's just my wife's fantasy and there's nothing wrong with leaving it as such. But it is 100% her fantasy.
  2. Sorry Inw but I have to take issue with your math. While I do agree 4/5 percent of the population are none monogamous I don't think those same percentages would apply to a vanilla cruise. Of course as others have mentioned it can happen but most swingers vacation where their most likely to find more swingers. That would be a swingers cruise, resort or clubs. Because of that I think the percentage of non monogamous couples on a vanilla cruise would be far less than you would find in the general population.
  3. My advice, honestly don't worry about the ffm right now. Have and enjoy your mfm. The lifestyle is all about comfort. The more you play the more comfortable you guys will be. Once she has had the opportunity to play with another man (men) and she realizes both of your feelings for each other are unchanged she will likely be less concerned with you being with another women. You always read move at the slowest persons pace. If she is okay with mfm and your turned on by the idea... start there.
  4. My personal opinion is the fewer the playtime rules the better. I honestly couldn't imagine watching how my wife sucks another mans cock, paying attention to how she is doing it to see if she is breaking a rule. That wouldn't be enjoyable at all. If you're watching for that you're not enjoying yourself with your partner. You may not be watching for it per-say but you look over and question, is she deep throating him? That instantly takes you out of your play time. Now you're more worried about the rules than fucking. I think you guys need to sit down and discuss the rules again. Work through why it would be okay to suck a mans cock but not okay to deep throat or play with the balls? Wouldn't it make more sense, be more enjoyable and honestly easier all around if you could agree that if your wife would like to suck another mans cock, she should suck his cock however she feels comfortable sucking it? If both of you are comfortable enough to have sex with another couple or single, why would kissing be considered too intimate? Is it really something that needs to be avoided? I completely understand having rules and level of comfort. Are we a full or soft swap couple? Do we play in same or different rooms? Will we play with friends or coworkers? Will we hot wife or do hall passes? Will we only pay safe or will play without condoms with select people be permitted? The lifestyle is full of things to discuss and to agree upon ahead of time. Having said that, you guys are in the lifestyle to have sex with other people. That means giving and receiving as much pleasure as you possibly can. If my wife is comfortable doing something she will do it. If she is not she will let her play partner know. Once we start to play we have zero restrictions. There is no, you do this only with me or.. you don't do this with me so you can't with someone else. My wife doesn't swallow my cum. She's tried it and does not particularly enjoy it. So I don't cum in her mouth. On two separate occasions she has taken her partner in her mouth and swallowed some portion of it. In that moment, with this person, in this sexy environment it is what she wanted to do. What logical reason would I have for getting upset by that? What you do is completely up to you. That may not work for everyone but it works very well for us. Talk it through, let go of insecurities and enjoy your journey into opening up your marriage.
  5. First, don't post pictures of your cock. If anyone needs to see it, they'll ask. Second, as I type this I'm about eight hours post an incredibly hot full swap play date. Me and my average at best cock, gave my partner four orgasms in a single play session. Her husband is larger than me. I don't know by how much, I don't measure the men my wife fucks and I honestly pay very little attention to that kind of thing. When we were finished up we went back out to the hot tub for a night cap and I was showered with praise. I was told my cock is perfect for her. I hit all the right places. She told me my cock is perfect. I felt like freaking superman. She explained she has to be careful choosing positions with her husband as his sizes can be uncomfortable for her at times. My advice, stop worrying about the size if your cock because very few women do.
  6. Four nights ago my wife and I had our first ffm threesome. We're a situational full swap couple so this was not our first full swap. This was not the first time my wife had seen me enter another women but it was our first threesome experience and I think it's relevant to the op's question so I'll describe what it was like anyway. Our friend was licking my wife's pussy at an odd angle. Rather than a 69 position on top of my wife, our friend was on her hands and knees ass pointing to ten on a clock. Her ass was sort of up by my wife's head. My wife told me she wanted me to fuck her. It was the first time entered her so I obviously took it slow. I pushed into her our friend she continued to eat my wife's pussy. The position was perfect to see right into my wife's eyes. Our friends face was between my wife's legs and she couldn't see me mouth the words, I love you to my wife. My wife mouthed I love you too, back at me. Hottest fifteen seconds in our lifestyle journey to date. What's it like? Each experience is unique and each couple has their own reasons for playing but i think if you're doing it right, every time you enter another women you should feel a closer connection to your wife. This is our journey.. together.
  7. This... It makes it sound like you feel soft swap is somehow beneath full swap. You are not ONLY soft swap... You're a soft swap lifestyle couple. My wife and I are full swap but we are not in any way superior to you and how you choose to play. I know, off topic but soft swap couples sometimes come across as if they're less than full swap couples. Even worse, full swap couples that come across as if they're superior. Sorry about the random rant...
  8. Quick update, I know you've all be on the edge of your seat waiting to hear what happened next. We had the opportunity to get together with our friends last Friday. I had expressed in our group chat that I was planning to slow things down. I wasn't sure where that stood to be honest because I never received much feedback. It was as if it wasn't really an issue to her. Even though she never really expressed an option on the topic I decided to follow through and slow things down. I slowed things way down, half speed and I would conclude it was a huge success. She was more vocal while we fucked than she had been in the past. We fucked three times in the same night (I didn't cum every time, we would take half hour/hour long breaks as a group) and that hadn't ever happened before. I also received more flattering messages in the days that followed than I had received in the past. She expressed just how much she had enjoyed herself and said that they couldn't wait to see us again. I feel like it's pretty obvious my slowing down lead to her enjoying herself more than she had in the past. So thanks for helping a fella fuck a little better. At the end of the day we all just wonna be able to fuck a little better, right? :-)
  9. Personally, I would rather be in the moment and pop and then doing math and last longer. Just my opinion..
  10. My wife and I recently returned from a vacation at a lifestyle resort. There we meet a sexy and super fun couple. The unfortunate thing was we really didn't get a chance to get to know them. We arrived and they departed two days later. We really only had a few hours to talk. Since returning home we've been chatting a little. The issue is we're struggling with keeping the conversation going. We had such limited time to get to know them we really don't have much to say. We want to get to know them. We want to know more about their style of play and interests in general but it's hard when we're basically starting from scratch. Any ideas on how to keep the chat moving along? Or, should this happen easily and the fact it's not is a clear sign it's not for a reason? Time to move on!
  11. Look at Desire Resort in the Riviera Maya, Mexico. Go and meet real people with zero expectations. Then go again and go again and keep doing that until it happens organically and everyone has an enjoyable experience. There is no finish line in the lifestyle. Go slow and have fun.
  12. Believe me, you will never come home from Desire wondering what the big deal was. Lot's of action at Desire... We've been to Desire about ten times. We like it more than Hedonism but really enjoy Hedonism also. You can't go wrong with either. After you go to Hedo be sure to give Desire RM a try.
  13. I don't mean to push my opinion because it's just that, my opinion. having said that I really don't think the single men will be an issue at all. We've been to both Desire properties and Hedo a number of times. Each do some things better than the others and creeps can be found at any of them. We were last at Hedonism in July, 2017. We did see single men but we were not bothered in any way by them. We weren't even approached. I believe there is a market for single men at Hedo and there's no shortage of demand. Single men won't bother wasting time on a couple that aren't looking for single men because there are plenty that are. Don't waste any time on the prude side... Get a drink and get naked. It's going to be a very fun holiday!
  14. Yep, that's exactly how I would handle it. Be prepared to have couples walk. You will meet people who will not be interested in that style of play. Don't take it personally, it's no different than you guys looking for what you want.
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