OK so here is the situation.
I'm the male half of a married couple. We have both always recognised that we couldn't do full monogamy and have played with guys, girls, and couples during our almost ten years together. We are both bi and she has the higher sex drive by far.
Over the last two years I've had continued medical issues which means sex isn't as fun for me as it use to be, I've got bad nerve damage down my leg and lower back thanks to a car accident. I also work up to 70 hours a week while she is a stay at home mum to our dogs.
At first after the injury we worked well together, finding people to help out where I couldn't. We met some good people but nothing long term. Recently all the guys we have met haven't actually been bi so have only played with her and I get completely regulated to the side line observer, even though this is never the plan and I've mentioned I don't like it afterwards. She claims she can't concentrate on two people at once, etc.
We basically never have sex of any kind now unless someone else is involved and as I font gave the time to meet people they are almost always people she has picked and even though they may have been chatty to both if us originally they usually stop talking to me and just chat with her after the first meet.
She often describes herself as orally obsessed but even though that is the only type of sex I can comfortably and reliably have now that never seems to get the case with me.
We recently have both been though a few months this of being very busy and sick so sex has been on the back burner. I'm not pushy so even though I was good I was waiting for her to tell me she was good to go as well. While on a business trip recently she asked if she could fuck a semi regular she like and although we have done it before it was with someone who was into both of us not just her. I said it was fine as long as she had some sexy time left over for me as I would be home a couple hours after he left and also would like a picture and some info about what went on to get me all hot and bothered before I hot in the door.
Well he arrived and I got one picture before the flight took off of her playing with her toys so was expecting some more when I landed. Nothing though :s. I send a few messages, try to call, nothing.
I get home, a bit worried by this point to find the door unlocked and her upstairs toys everywhere, condoms on the bed still, and her fast asleep. I ask her how it all went and if she is up for about round and she just says it was OK, nothing special and says she needs to sleep, although not before asking for a snack and sleeping early water which I get for her.
Six hours later it's 9pm and she is still in bed. I'm hungry so I cook us some dinner and bring it to her in bed. Ask again but she says it was all pretty standard and says she is still waking up so I take the dishes down to clean up the kitchen and feed the dogs.
Anyway that was two days ago, still no details, I've been super supportive and obvious that I'm in the mood to try and give some sort of sex a go but she isn't interested or uses the excuse she doesn't want to hurt me or get everyone disappointed if it doesn't work.
Any suggestions?
I feel that she takes zero interest in me sexuality although when we do talk she ensures me that isn't the case. I'm still the only guy to bring her to orgasm with penetrative sex (I can't do this well any more though due to my injuries) and although I'm great with my tongue, she doesn't enjoy oral (she has tried with many different guys and girls, just doesn't work for her).
