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TheOtherLife

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About TheOtherLife

  • Rank
    Just Getting Started
  • Birthday 02/08/1982

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Oklahoma
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx

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  1. Wish it was that easy, but I can't do any form of hormonal birth control. Gives me crippling migraines. I got off birth control and had my tubes tied when I figured out that migraine-hormone link a few years ago. So I'm stuck with the monthly visitor. I don't have a problem with period sex, except not actually at the club or with someone new. My SO and I will certainly follow up with it at home later, lol. But I have to be pretty comfortable with the person and the setting before period sex is on for me, and we're too new to this right now for me to have that comfort level yet.
  2. Hi, mrs here. The SO and I are new to swinging, and will be attending our 2nd club event this weekend. The first time was fun, although we didn't play, just observed the people and got a feel for the atmosphere, getting our bearings. We did meet a few people, and have had a little bit of email teasing with the male half of one couple. (They both play with hall passes available, and the messages were through their shared online profile, so even though it was mostly just him, there was nothing hidden or sneaky.) He's made it pretty clear that I have a a very open invitation to play with him at the club this weekend, and I'm into that, there's good chemistry there. My SO has given me a green light too, whether he just watches or joins in, and we've talked about the details of our limits. Even though we intend to become a full-swap couple at some point, we want to start out slow, just soft-swap as we get used to it, to make sure we're both still ok with things along the way. But here's my problem... my monthly cycle decided this was a good time to make an appearance. Ugh. We still want to go, but I'm pretty much limited to above-the-belt play for myself. This may be a dumb question, but is it ok to limit play to breasts and kissing, or will that come across as teasing amd frustrating? My idea of soft-swap at least includes hands roaming below the belt too, and probably oral, but mother nature put me in time-out. And yes, I'm pouting, lol. I was looking forward to going for it!! (Side note: I'm pretty sure my worries come from my previous marriage, which was... let's call it less than healthy, especially in the sexual domain. That's part of the appeal of swinging. Being completely free to embrace my sexuality, while still being completely free to say no at any time, is surprisingly therapeutic, if that makes any sense. So I think I already know these limits are just fine, because most guys will still be thrilled to get to play with my boobs, lol, but some reassurance would help. ?)
  3. As in everything... communicate. When he says he doesn't want another guy to "mark" his territory, that actually could mean a few different things. My SO and I have had this discussion in detail, for similar reasons (I'm more excited/comfortable with the idea of swinging, he wants to do it but is also more hesitant). For us, the concept of "marking" plays a role, but we both define it in a very physical sense... it's not the sex acts that leave a mark, but rather the guy's cum if left behind in/on my body. Both of us feel like that's "marking," and we're not comfortable with it because of that. So we set our boundaries. No one cums in my mouth except my SO... no one cums on my body except my SO... and for vag sex, condoms are required anyway, so even if a guy cums in me, it's in the condom and nothing is left behind. The thing is, though, people often realize that something bothers them, but they honestly don't know exactly why it bothers them until they are pushed to have a conversation that teases out all those tiny little threads. Your SO may be bothered by another guy's cum in/on you, but not even realize that is the part that actually bothers him... he just thinks the whole thing bothers him. Or, he may really be bugging about the whole thing, it's entirely possible. But communicating about it can help clarify just what it is that's bugging him, and then maybe you can find a way to set your boundaries and rules to address his concerns.
  4. Thanks everyone, that does help me feel more relaxed about going and just seeing what happens. Looking forward to it!!
  5. Newbies here, woman speaking... Planning a first club trip in a couple weeks. Before going, we'd like to know the common etiquette on give-and-take. For example, if someone wants to give me oral, and I accept, does that imply that I am willing to return the favor? Or should I decline anything that I wouldn't be willing to do in return? I'm particularly nervous about girl-on-girl stuff. I'm interested, mostly in the context of group play and being watched, but I've never actually played with a girl and I'm afraid I would chicken out, lol. I can see myself being comfortable receiving, but then getting way too nervous to give in return, and I don't want to come across as rude if my nerves get the best of me.
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