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MadlyInLuv

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MadlyInLuv last won the day on August 12 2019

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About MadlyInLuv

  • Rank
    100 Posts Club
  • Birthday 01/05/1975

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  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Atlanta
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx

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  1. We have definitely figured that out. However, the wife is recovering from surgery so we are grounded for a few weeks. They reached out, so we answered. They WERE being nice and patient until this bizarre incident. Waste of freakin time. I’m usually a very forgiving (almost too forgiving) person whereas my wife is more abrupt. Well I’ve had my fill of these psycho flakes on these sites.
  2. We’ve been chatting with a couple waiting for my wife to be cleared for sexual activity from getting her tubes tied. Normally we wouldn’t drag out chatting so long. The chat was going very well for a couple weeks off and on and they seemed actually pretty patient while she recovered. I asked today about whether we should squeeze in a dinner to get to k ow each other first. He is experienced in the LS and she is pretty new. He said it was ok and they didn’t need courting. So I made a VERY innocent joke. I said “How do you know Jane doesn’t need courting. She’s pretty new after all! “. He suddenly snapped with a sarcastic response and left the chat. She was confused and then explained me questioning his speaking for her rubbed him the wrong way. She then left. One comment that was a tease and GONE after a couple weeks of nice interaction. People suck! The LS makes zero difference that people generally suck. So frustrated right now. So many times stupid crap like this has happened.
  3. I’m not sure how you were using Kik, but we would connect on the site (SLS or SDC), move the 4 way conversation over to Kik to coordinate meeting and just to get to know each other better, and then meet. We didn’t go out there joining large groups. It was literally just us and the other couple chatting....
  4. Kik has been the unofficial standard to connect with people on swinger sites. I know most vets don’t bother chatting much, but it is a good way to coordinate a first meeting or stay in touch with people in a world where privacy is never very secure. Kik shuts down tomorrow. Does anyone know what app everyone is thinking of going to to fill the gap? The chat functions on SDC and SLS are awful.
  5. I came into this thread expecting a discussion about delicious cake. This is especially of interest to me because I’m on Keto and can’t have cake. I’m disappointed.
  6. I have a drone. I’m a gamer from the 1980s on to present. I actually DO have Star Wars costumes. Like, movie accurate costumes. How’s that for geeky? ??
  7. This is going to be tough. Lots of couples write off other couples for simply being soft swap only. Not all couples mind you, but it narrows your search. I'm going to recommend something a little crazy: Book the two of you a trip to Hedonism 2 in Jamaica. Here is why: As long as you both can handle seeing OTHER people have sex publicly -- it will be easier for her to experience this very specific requirement. In fact, there were women and men making out in the pool and just touching breasts in the pool at all hours. There was NO pressure. None at all. You could just hang out and talk the whole time if you wanted. You can hang in the prude pool with a bathing suit, or (I recommend) hanging out in the nude pool where the party is. It's a controversial piece of advice, I know -- but our first exposure (true exposure) to the Lifestyle was at Hedo. We were never pressured at all. We made great friends that we didn't sleep with, and we also saw a lot of crazy stuff. However, my wife has gotten used to people requesting (and being given permission) to touch her breast in the pool. lol
  8. The wife and I were discussing all of our swinging meet and greet dinners that never panned out. Many of them went really well and proceeded to planning stages for a date, but then aborted close to go-time. This could be just our perspective, but to us there seems to be a lot of people that fall into one of the following categories: -- They are in it to try to find a female for the wife. They have failed finding a unicorn, and so they have moved to the couples category and think they can just 'figure it out' and tolerate the spouse. Some of them even imply that they center around the girl play and get dodgy about what the guys are going to do while all of this is going down. -- The husband is clearly into it, and the wife acts into it but she doesn't interact as much. This inevitably ends in a last minute permanent flake where they disappear from the universe all of a sudden. -- Chatters. They meet for dinner and get excited. They chat enthusiastically for sometimes weeks trying to line schedules up. Time comes around for the play date and they bail. It's actually a welcome relief when couples figure out that our interests don't align very quickly and stop talking. That saves EVERYONE a lot of wasted time. I have a lot of regular good ol' American vanilla hobbies in my wife and I really don't want to waste weeks of energy for something that isn't going to go anywhere.
  9. Thank you! We have both realized that this is a very feast/famine activity. We've struck out months at a time, or got busy and didn't even pursue it for months at a time, etc. We also tend to prefer the term 'hobby' rather than 'lifestyle'. Not sure why. lol Like everyone else, our main two priorities are guarding against 1. emotional issues (sadness, jealousy, or developing feelings). None of these have happened thus far. and 2. Disease. We don't fancy the idea of having to go get treated for something and have to explain ourselves. :p Those two issues have prompted us to move more slowly and step carefully more than anything else.
  10. I'm answering for him, but I think he means that it would be cool if the person was someone that she might actually be friends with if they had just met casually in vanilla universe. In other words, someone that she finds interesting. You don't have to develop feelings for people just to feel like you are comfortable or connect with a person.
  11. Geek couple here too. We even like cosplay conventions. I think most people are a little hesitant to put stuff like that on their profile. Hell, we don't even list it on ours.
  12. So we are about a year and a half into this, and we still feel like we are beginners because people suck. We have had a total of 4 experiences between two couples (all soft). The first couple was at our trip to Hedonism on back to back nights that I documented elsewhere here on this forum. The second couple went well and we saw them a couple times over a couple months before they kinda drifted off to other experiences I suppose. Other than that -- it's been ridiculous. Let's set aside the dinner dates where the couple just wasn't a good match chemistry wise, or the occasional crazy person that we figure out prior to any play. Those are to be expected and it's part of it. We have now, on several occasions, met with couples for dinner and it went extremely well. We then begin chatting regularly on KIK and make plans a few weeks out to meet for a play date. Then BAM! The day before they bail out and we never hear from them again. This latest time it was the MORNING OF the date when a sudden 'emergency' came up after a few days of chat that seemed off. We try to select couples that we are attracted to, are no drama, and seem to swing somewhat responsibly (not just hopping from person to person but making sure they are being as safe as they can). This is beginning to seem like too much to ask. It's absolutely maddening. I would start to suspect that we are ugly or something, but we always have super enthusiastic chats for days after the dinners. These people are literally wasting a month of our time chatting and then just vanishing before the play date! I mean :mad: And it's happening multiple times! How do you people ever actually SWING?
  13. Thank you both! Good points. They are active swingers so more often than not she's getting much smaller than him and still enjoys it. I'm reminded that attraction and enjoyment come from way more places than sheer physical size, etc. Sometimes it's just a personality that does it. Thanks for the reminders ladies.
  14. So.... I usually am with crowd that says you shouldn't fret over sizes, etc. Most men worry about their wife having a man with a larger cock and then somehow them not measuring up to that afterwards. I'm not worried about that. My wife has had a previous boyfriend before we were married that was huge. My question is this -- if we play with a couple that we are acquainted with... he's VERY big. I'm 1000% average US male. Maybe a little on the low side of average but still in there. Anyway.... I'm a little intimidated that his wife is going to be completely underwhelmed after having a guy regularly that is huge at home and then experiencing a dude that is completely average. I know I know.... I don't normally worry about this stuff, but in this case there is a huge difference, and she's used to the monster. :p Ladies? Thoughts?
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