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Banderson2002

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15 Good

About Banderson2002

  • Rank
    Just Getting Started
  • Birthday 06/17/1964

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Houston
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx
  1. My advice as a newbie is be prepared for anything, especially what you don't expect. How will you react? Our second time to the club was a dud. We were going with no expectations other than having fun. That's exactly what didn't happen. We didn't have any fun and the wife was ready to leave and I wasn't catching the hints. I wasn't in tune and thought maybe it would get better so I suggested waiting to see if something was going to happen. I was so mentally prepared and on guard to read her signals, both planned and unplanned like we had discussed so many times, if something was happening that she wasn't comfortable with but what I wasn't prepared for was something not happening and her saying let's just go and come back some other time. I think she saw disappointment on my face. Perhaps she read a little more into it than what was there but yes I was disappointed. I shouldn't have been. I mean worst case was I got to leave the club with the sexiest, most beautiful woman there. She wanted to leave and I wasn't as supportive of that as I should have been. Then I ended up getting in my own head and it spiraled downward from there for the next few hours. I wouldn't trade the experience for a good one because it helped us both be more in tune with each other...OK it helped me realize I wasn't as in tune as I thought. I'm just saying be prepared for what you aren't prepared for because those will be the ones you have problems with. Making sure the lines of communication always stay wide open is key. Listen with an open mind and heart. Put yourself firmly in her shoes anytime she is saying I'm feeling (fill in the blank). Don't read anything into what she's saying. Take it for face value and give her the same courtesy of honesty when you have something to say and expect her to do nothing other than hear it. Do preplan in your head what you think she is going to think...that's easier said than done, trust me. Here's the deal though, You can't control her reaction but you can control your reaction to her reaction and that's going to be more important in the long run. The trust will build with each good and each bad experience. The communication will become easier and easier and those reactions will become nothing more than a blip, maybe a raised eyebrow and if needed a discussion, later, at an appropriate time.
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