TnT1024

Thanks Lionheart72 that's really reassuring to know I'm not alone in this process. We have been talking about this and talking and talking we have a open and honest communication so it feels like we're on the right track. He is willing to take my lead and as he puts it "Whatever floats your boat". I'm open and curious about being with another woman but I don't think I'm ready to give. I'm willing to receive if it happens. I'm just not ready for him to have sex with another woman at least not yet and he knows that and respects that. If I was to give in at this point it would be definitely be to please him he doesn't want me to do anything just to please him. I definitely have to be 100% sure I can handle that before giving in on that one. He's ok with it either way and has assured me he would find it more erotic watching another woman please me. Thanks again

T and I have known each other for 21 years. We dated for 6 yrs was separated for 10 and have been back together for 5 years now. We have a long distance relationship (1,100 miles physically separate us). Our sex life has always been like our initials TnT(pure dynamite). This past January he brought up the subject of swinging after watching some porn. Me being curious about everything suggested that we take a mini-vacation and hit up a club. We decided to hit up Collette in New Orleans for a Saturday night. 3 weeks after the suggestion and research we hit the club up with hopes of just watching and getting a feel for what this was all about. There wasn't much to see other than a few couples having oral sex in the theater room and one couple in the semi-private room which we could really only hear because there was a crowd blocking the limited view. So I decided to perform oral sex on him in the public area. After finishing we decided to return to our room and entertain each other. This was the first time in 20 years he's cum 3 times in less than 24 hours. Just the excitement of being watched and the thought of watching others heighten our sexuality. So we plan to attend another club in the future. We've always talked about threesomes and I have insecurity issues and don't think I could handle seeing him with someone else. Many years ago while were broken up I had an experience where a friend and I was with a guy. I didn't handle that too well and I didn't love him nearly as much as I love my T. However this guy was all about self unlike T. T understands that I'm curious and want to experiment and has expressed whatever I want to do he's fine with it but he believes as long as we're open minded and on the same page no matter what we'll be ok. He's expressed he doesn't want to do anything that's going to cause problems in our relationship. Honestly he's not even asking to bring another person in other than someone to please me and he's excited at the thought of watching me with another woman. I have never been with another woman in any type of way. The earlier experience was the guy sexing me while she watched and then him sexing her while I watched. I wouldn't even know how to go about inviting some woman to join us and explain we're just being selfish. He's going to watch you do things to me and it's nothing really in return for you. I've never had the desire to have another woman touch me however this entire subject started after me telling him about a dream I had recently about being with a woman. I want to please him and he wants to please me and I'm just so confused on what I want to do.

I'm glad I found your post. You sound so much like me. I'm interested in moving up from watching to playing but I know I emotionally could not handle seeing my bae with another woman. I know and understand a lot of it is because I've been cheated on in the past and insecurity issues from that. Although he has never cheated on me and when I'm with him I feel completely secure I just don't know what my emotions would be in that moment. I've even thought since we have a long distance relationship he just as easily could be having sex with someone else (even as I typing this post) but to think it and actually see it is two different things. When we're together he gives me his full attention and even when women are totally disrespecting my existence and throwing themselves at him he's totally clueless. I've had friends comment on how he only has eyes for me and how they wish their mates were like him. So, I guess I shouldn't be concerned but it's a psychological feat. I wish I had advice for you but I don't. Hopefully everyone will continue to post here and provide advice for both of us.

My bae and I attended a club for the first time in NO back in Feb. I did a lot of research and we talked about everything. Neither of us are to the point where we would feel comfortable doing anything other than watching or being watched. I thought we might be looked at as being some weirdos for just standing around watching other do their thing but there were more people waiting around to watch others than actually doing anything. We were at the club for 3 hours and was only able to watch one couple in a semi-private room. It wasn't a good enough view to really enjoy it but the sounds drew a ton of people to stand outside of the room. We were a little disappointed but not enough to just give up on our hopes of seeing others in the act. We are planning a trip to Miami soon and plan to check out a club there. Hoping it's more exciting.