Jump to content

MDcouple121211

Registered
  • Content Count

    12
  • Joined

Community Reputation

18 Good

About MDcouple121211

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 03/09/1979

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Maryland
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx

Recent Profile Visitors

The recent visitors block is disabled and is not being shown to other users.

  1. I was trying to avoid mentioning the club because I don't believe it was directly related to the club itself bit rather to the neighbor in question. I also didn't want this profile outed but as I had mentioned it in another post earlier, I guess the cat's out of the bag. The club was TPA, and until the following day were willing to give it a shot and the Mrs requested a specific event if they had it again. With the dark club and the loud music we couldn't get a good view of the person in question or really hear the voice to recognize them until I started poking around the internet matching up profiles to who we saw that had said they were going that night. Our schedules and life prevent us from going more than a few times a year and realistically I don't see us being able to go to another club at this time which is what is behind the drive for a solution besides walking away from it all. The other solution is to tey to avoid them and do our own thing, ignoring the issue which seems, we'll dangerous to me. I realize it sounds like I'm looking for someone to make up my mind for me and that isn't the case. I understand this is a new profile and no one particularly knows me nor do they know the issues between the people involved. I figure there had to be an occasion where this has occurred to some unlucky soul before. The Mrs' greatest fear was running into someone we knew and of course it had to be someone we seem unable to get along with and can't trust and on the very first night. I had read the same about Tabu being a younger crowd as well which was another deciding factor on TPA. I had looked into the Cottage but we can't overnight at the moment for money reasons and it's too far to drive. I mentioned earlier about our schedule but on top of that, I have severe sleep issues that make it dangerous to drive tired (more than most people anyway) and night time driving is not easy for the Mrs. I realize now that in the first post it sounded like I had been drinking, but I only had soda, my wife had wine.
  2. I guess I was hoping someone might have had this happen to them and they didn't tuck tail and slink away like we are. We tend to approach things like a cautious turtle, very slowly and as protected as possible until its safe enough. Or an affirmation that in past practice our tactic was the most common.
  3. Thank for all the replies. Our concern was not with the club, or attendance level. We had no expectations going in, we had checked the website out, I feel like I've read close to every thread here (I haven't, but I've covered a good deal of them). I knew Fridays have a lower attendance which is fine. The Mrs was relieved it was slower and had agreed (originally) to try again on a busier night (a Saturday at some point in an undecided future). I also acknowledge that we weren't going out of our way to engage in conversation and also the regulars are more than entitled to hang out with their regular friends. As we were wondering around, there were people who were in conversations, that made eye contact and smiled, we were likely too absorbed in taking in our surroundings to engage in conversation although we did return the smile and nod of a greeting. We also didn't want to interject into the conversation as we hadn't been invited. (Plus it was at this point the Mrs seemed hell-bent on finding a room, and i certainly wasn't about to stop her!). We also didn't expect that we'd be the center of attention and that the scene would revolve around us. We honestly just wanted to see what was going on and hoped to be able chat with some people. We, in our timid effort to dip the tip of our toes in the kiddie pool of this environment, did not plan on playing with anyone. Once we made our discovery, was when some things seemed to click together. I tend to read into things and I am trying very hard not to do so with this, but it would be par for the course in our experience of dealing with the individual in question. As I'm writing this I seem to remember another area with another group that had split off. Everywhere has group dynamics and politics, no matter what environment and we admittedly don't know the club's memberships' breakdown. Our biggest and really only concern is the neighbor. We sat in the car right after leaving and said we'd like to go back. I wanted to catch the immediate reaction. It was also the first time in a very, very, very long time we had been able to get out just to have fun and we did. Regarding the suggestions about other local clubs and overnighting, we would if we could. Honestly we would have done that first rather than keeping local. We don't want to but we are thinking that this endeavor may need to be shelved for the time being unless there is a drama-free way of dealing with this I haven't been able to think of yet. We have enough headache in our lives we really don't want anymore. Additionally we don't want issues at the club itself or the rest of the people, I'm sure they don't want anything either.
  4. I thinker would, however we aren't currently in a position where we can overnight and with the hours of a club, the ones I am aware of are a bit too far to commute for us. The closest would be Philly which I believe would still be 1.5 hrs or so at least. York is about the same and Gettysburg is closer to 2 hours. I realize these aren't far still but with our schedules and other items, late night driving like that isn't a great idea. I was hoping some helpful soul out there might have encountered a similar situation and had some suggestions on dealing with it other than our avoidance.
  5. The Mrs and I attended our first club visit this past weekend. We were both really excited and nervous as most are. Regardless of how hard we tried we were not able to get there until much later than we had attended, which coincidentally was around the same time we typically go to sleep (we have an early schedule). Regrettably, we had been unsuccessful in taking a nap to recharge before heading out and the club was a good 45 minute drive which my tired cranial matter was thinking of on the trip up. We finally arrived and went in not quite knowing what to expect. We were greeted with a tour guide. We had expected a host couple and got a tour guide. The gentleman was quite pleasant and friendly, showed us the club, then promptly dropped us and went back to his friends, not to check on us or make eye contact again. We got drinks and sat near the bar watching and smiling, taking everything in, and enjoying ourselves. Club music isn't our thing but is what one would expect going to a club. It was a very quiet night as far as the attendance level at the club and seemed to have a core group of regulars and a couple other outriders that may or may not have been new also. One of the ringleaders of the core group, was actually turned out to be a neighbor. We weren't able to verify this until the following day through some internet sleuthing but confirmed it is them. I know the community has said "they're there too" but we have had run-ins with this person before in Vanilla World and because of another position this person holds, they have access to quite a bit of personal data on us. Past experience has told us that the neighbor is far from trustworthy. Additionally they seem to be "out" already so that bit would be removed. Eventually after about an hour of failing to even make eye contact with any of the people passing the our table, we gave up and went on a tour of the club ourselves. Decided to duck into one of the rooms and "entertained" ourselves for a bit. Having enjoyed ourselves, we returned to the social bar area. At this point i was struggling with the inner conflict of the walk of shame, having just had sex and coming out of the room everyone would have seen. Then I realized that is what everyone is there to do and what's the big deal. We sat there for a bit, finished our drinks then decided to get ready to head home before the extreme fatigue hit on the drive home through dark rural roads with heavy eyelids. As we were getting ready to leave, the partner of the neighbor asks me if we were leaving already and if we were coming back to the club again. She was friendly and didn't think much of it. We were leaving early (a bit after midnight by this point). I stopped and chatted with her a bit as my wife was making a bee-line for the door (this wasn't a sign of her displeasure, she thought I was behind her, happens all the time to us). As part of the sleuthing I checked their SLS profile and come to find out they are host couples for the club. Our new member paperwork just happened to be on top. Considering our past experience I can't help but think the neighbor saw our names and refused to play host. Unfortunately they also attend the other club in the area and we don't have the time or money to travel at the moment. This is not the first experience we were hoping for. The 5 minute tour then being dropping off and abandoned didn't set too well but I passed it off as he wanted to get back with his friends. In hindsight, after the tour guide dropped us off, he immediately went to the neighbor. Had it not been for the neighbor we would go back without question. Right now...we're not sure but thinking it was a fun adventure albeit more tame than expected as it was a quiet night. We aren't inclined to return at the moment due to the pending drama we'd very much like to avoid...
  6. Appreciate the input one and all. I hadn't realized how rambling my post was so I apologize for that. Was trying to interject some humor especially on a topic of not communicating to show I'm not a complete stick in the mud. I understand it's a social event and my whole concern was specifically a discussion of work, but also more generally the overall direction of conversation which you fine folks have covered. We're not opposed to opening up eventually but want to know someone first. "Quid pro quo, Clarice." (In hind sight I guess a Hannibal Lecter quote probably isn't best in this forum....kinda creepy!) I also have a tendency to research new items to death and that is likely what im doing. I'm also posting questions or concerns both of us will have to try to ease the Mrs' s concerns too. Again thank you for the responses. I do feel considerably more relaxed about that topic. Just hoping the rest of the stars align and we can actually go! Can't line the munchkin-minder up yet and thats the biggest one!
  7. Well, we are still planning our trip in June for the first club visit and I've been continuing research on this site but the one question that I have only seen alluded to and not overtly addressed, is conversation. Being introverts, which still strikes me as odd that we both have exhibitionist style fantasies, how does one carry on and host a conversation with out giving out too much personal info? Typically conversation revolves around work which I'd rather not disclose in this situation until we know them better. Granted it is club focused around sex, but we aren't planning on playing with anyone, so I don't see that topic "coming" up. (bumdum-tish). Oddly enough, I don't mind discussing that topic... I am sure we are both going to be the average newbies looking like deer in a headlights. But I want it to be as good an experience as possible for us and anyone who is kind enough to talk to us. I don't want to come off as rude or standoffish. I'm sure this is common for new people. Others have suggested getting up and dancing, well, my dancing is so bad it would make someone call for an ambulance because I was having a seizure or something (that or Chris Farley's Chip'n'Dale dancer). My dearest wife, is roughly the same. The Dance Fairy was hungover when it gave us our skills. We actually tried dance lessons once. He somehow managed to succeed in teaching us some basic rumba without throwing himself off a ledge in frustration. So if we are actually successful in striking up a conversation and it rolls around to topics not to be disclosed yet, how does one steer around it without being rude? I know there are others with sensitive employment out there. Or is this not that big a deal? Not really looking for ice breakers or conversation topics I guess, or at least I don't think anyway. Thanks again for your input!
  8. Thank you for the assurances everyone. We were in fact looking at TPA over Tabu. The PA clubs are a little far and would take a greater investment with requiring a hotel. Another concern of the Mrs, is the possibility of running into someone. I've tried to ease her concerns by saying they are there too and now there is something else in common. Like I said before we are working on overcoming past social biases. Padoc, do you have any additional tips specific to TPA? Wow, I really should have proofread my post. Didn't realize there were so many typos!
  9. Hello all, The Mrs and I have begun researching clubs and we have one in MD picked out based on reviews and proximity. We have not registered yet but we had some questions/concerns in general from the community. We are both interested in the experience (likely same room or private room being watched). The first trip we've decided primarily to just check the scene out however timing for subsequent trips is limited by life's schedule. We do have some quesfions/concerns. Primarily is safety. I've read several threads commenting how, typically single males, will stay nearby play areas and either try to interact or grab ass. Im not talking about penetration. I understand this is hardly indicative of the community as a whole but the act of isolated individuals bit ultimate unwanted contacted in that manner is sexual assualt. Im sure most people arr polite and ask but honestly how prevalent is this behavior? I'm sure it varies by club but those people are out there all over and a club may eject the person but that doesn't eliminate what happened. Even if it's just one idiot who happens to do it, that would cause my wife all sorts of problems. Secondly on a more pleasant topic, what are good protocols? As I stated we are primarily going to check the scene, but if the sex gods smile upon us and the opportunity to play even by ourselves presents, how is that handled, assuming it's in a designated play area? For instance I read about the newer couples going to see and end up just watching. I get it that could be creepy. Do you stay put side the room, do you enter the room, assuming it's not a private room?if you enter do you interrupt the festivities to announce yourself and ask if it's ok to watch? That extends to same room if in, I guess the couples or group room? Or in those rooms do you just sit down by yourselves and get to what you're going to get to (as a couple with no swap)? Thirdly, we both tend to be shy (ironic since we're considering having sex in front of others...), and I understand this is a social experience but I don't know, I guess are there tips for shy people to still engage? Lastly, and I realize this could be club by club, but we, well, both have body image issues and would rather not fully disrobe in the event of playing. Is this acceptable as far as etiquette? Are there other etiquette issues newbies should be aware of? Sorry for the long post. Im sure I or the Mrs will have additional questions later. I appreciate any feedback.
×
×
  • Create New...